Hey, long time lurker here. Really love this sub. Anyway, I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only person who has these opinions on on-line dating apps like Tinder. Particularly the way men on them are projected as these assholes/douchebags who just want sex.

My feelings are this: what else do women expect considering the societal system we have? In our culture, men are expected to be the aggressor. Their carnal desires are practically glorified through pop culture’s male gaze, masculinity, etc. Women are always expected to be proper and sit back and wait for the man to make the first move. These are stereotypical gender roles. Ones that go back to sexist double standards like men who have sex a lot are players/glorified and women who do so are whores. So why are women so Goddamn bitchy about the way some (as in not even close to the majority) guys act on these apps? Similar to the ways these same girls get bitchy about guys trying to make the first move at clubs, bars, or in public. This is to be expected going off society’s gender norms.

Furthermore, I don’t see where women have any problem with this on the apps themselves. At the end of the day, they are the ones who literally sit back like royalty while we mere jesters are strictly there for their entertainment. At the end of the day, the girl is only gonna swipe on the hotter guys anyway.

The ugliest fucking girl in the world can make a profile and have hundreds of matches in hours, something a fairly attractive guy like myself will never experience in years. I’m no genius, but going off the laughably-sexualized profile pics women use, you know they love this shit. So what if ten percent of your three thousand matches are assholes and make lewd come-ons? That’s still a fuck-ton of matches and guys who are literally praising you all day.

I don’t buy this bullshit of men being dogs or thirsty or whatever other stupid bullshit, women throw out there. The fact is, what choice do desperate men have? To quote The 40-Year-Old Virgin society is “putting the pussy on the pedal stool.”

From most studies I’ve read, women are just as horny if not hornier than men. The problem is they can literally get sex whenever they want and practically with whoever they want. And on-line, they can get as much attention/feel-as-fucking-hot as they want.

So where does that leave the non-smoking hot men? Do women really expect the so-called “creeps” to just sit there and not even try to compete with the Abercrombie models? I believe that this desperation leads to the jaded trolling/anger men will have on these apps. Whether that’s bullying, sending unsolicited dick pics, stalking, etc. It’s not an inherent man problem, it’s an issue with our society and the gender roles.

As someone who’s experienced the reoccurring soul-crushing these apps can do to a guy’s self-esteem, I get it. Getting 5-10 matches per week rather than per hour with half those matches being spam bots fucking eviscerates you. So I get it. I’ve sent unsolicited pics of my big dick as well out of low self-esteem (and sometimes, the shit works in getting a woman’s attention). Not because I’m a horny pig or creep, but because men, like women, want that attention too. We want to feel wanted and desired. Who the fuck doesn’t? And the reality is, women can’t fucking comprehend this because they’re used to getting fetishized/wanted. We’re talking about a gender that gets offended from getting Goddamn compliments.

I always use the analogy of if the gender roles were reversed, what would happen. In this alternate world, we men would sit the fuck back like women do and collect matches like they were going out of style. No matter how ugly or unattractive we were. And now women were the ones who had to pursue. They were the ones getting 5-10 matches a week. The ones who had to fight for sex and compliments. Do women actually think they wouldn’t be doing the same desperate shit men do in this scenario? They post provocative shit on their profiles as is much less if they were the ones who had to make the first move and try to snag men with magical one-liners. And in this alternate world where men are getting flooded by desperate women, men would only focus on the super-hot girls. What the Hell does social media think the less attractive girls are gonna do? They’re gonna get angry and bitch and troll and stalk. And oh yeah, the quiet girl with big boobs is gonna send unsolicited boob pics in order to get a guy’s attention. This would be inevitable.

Anyway, I’m sorry for the rant. Just kinda pissed in general and curious what everyone else’s thoughts were on self-esteem in relation to dating apps.