A lot of people (especially on Reddit) assume that if a guy is misogynistic or hates women, that means he's probably some virgin who is bitter about it. A massacre in the UK was committed by a 22 year old self-identified incel but it's unknown if inceldom was even his motive or it's just coincidental. Instantly assuming his motive was inceldom is a begging the question fallacy. Now all these Reddit users are panicking and acting like incels are some threat to women. Here's something people need to realize:

It is extremely rare for misogynistic men to be virgins and it is extremely rare (virtually non-existent) for virgin men to commit violence against women. In fact, research has shown that misogynistic men tend to be far more consensual sex partners than most men. In the research paper, A Latent Class Analysis of Heterosexual Young Men's Masculinities, 555 men ages 18 to 25 (mean age=20.6, standard deviation=2.1) were surveyed. 44 of these men (7.93%) were hypermasculine men. These men were typically misogynistic and highly hypermasculine, were more likely to commit sexual assault or rape, were more likely to commit intimate parter violence, were less monogamous/emotionally intimate, and were more likely to endorse macho stereotypes. 58% of them were in fraternities, 84% were involved in intramural sports, and 86% were on a sports team. They also watched more porn and were more likely to pay for sexual services. These men had far more consensual sex partners (mean=15.53 partners compared to normative men having a mean number of 8 partners), including more one night stands (4 one night stands on average compared to roughly 2 one night stands on average for normative men). Sex-focused men had 52 sex partners and 28.31 one night stands on average but these men were not misogynistic and not particularly hypermasculine (except sexually hypermasculine) and were exceptional due to possible hypersexuality or sex addiction.

In a study of 2,703 teenagers in Spain (M=15.89, SD=1.29), including 1,350 teenage boys (M=15.95, SD=1.30) and 1,353 teenage girls (M=15.83, SD=1.28), researchers found a strong link between sexism and sexual experience. Boys who were not sexually experienced had the least amount of benevolent sexism, hostile sexism and ambivalent sexism. Boys with non-penetrative experience had more amounts of sexism, and boys with penetrative sexual experience had the most amount of sexism.

Misogynistic men, as previously shown, are more likely to commit rape, sexual assault and intimate partner violence. They also tend to be hypermasculine. Very few massacres have been committed by self-identified incels and one of them, Alek Minassian, said inceldom wasn't even his motive and that he made it up for media attention (his real motive was anxiety over his job. He claims to have known Elliot Rodger online which is clearly implausible). Elliot Rodger planned massacres but he only posted a mere few times on forums and was planning his massacre regardless of the forums. He started having violent fantasies way before typing a mere few posts on any forum. Very few massacres were committed by incels and none of the incel killers raped their victims and many of their victims were men.

In fact, violence against women is typically committed by sexually active men. All intimate partner violence perpetrators are sexually active and in a relationship, and studies show that domestic violence couples have more frequent sex than most couples. Additionally, studies show CONSISTENTLY that rapists DO have consensual sex. In fact, they have far more sex partners than most men, more dating partners, lose their virginity early, and have their first date early. David Lisak wrote about undetected rapists (rapists who were never arrested or even reported):

'Undetected rapists' have consistently been shown to more sexually active than other men. Apart from their sexually aggressive behavior, they engage in consensual and coercive sex far more often than is typical for men of their age group. Their sexual activity tends to be an important component of their identities. Thus, rather than being a product of a greater sex drive, their increased sexual activity appears to be driven by their view that if they are not very active then they are neither 'successful' nor adequate as men.

Although Lisak received criticism for inaccurate data that 90% of college campus rapes were committed by serial rapists, his other data about rapists is generally more accurate. However, this data about the sex lives of rapists is something he received from other authors' data rather than his own, making it much more easy to trust for skeptics. The percentage of men who are rapists varies, ranging from 4% to as many as 15% of men. Here are some results I found where rapists' sex lives were compared to that of non-rapists (multiple studies replicated the same exact finding):

Here's some data: Among sexual aggressors (those who engaged in acts like forced kissing, etc. rather than rape) and non-aggressors, sexual aggressors had an average sex partner number of 22.5 sex partners (SD=21.6) whereas non-aggressors had, on average, 13.2 sex partners (SD=18.2). Sexual aggressors lost their virginity at an average age of 15.5 compared to 16.7 for non-aggressors. Sexual aggressors' number of dating partners was, on average, 18.9 partners compared to 14.8 dating partners for non-aggressors. Sexual aggressors had their first date at age 15.1 on average compared 15.3 on average for non-aggressors. Rapists (who committed actual rape) had an average of 21.1 sex partners whereas non-rapists had an average of 14.7 sex partners. Rapists had 19 dating partners on average whereas non-rapists had 15.3 dating partners on average. Rapists lost their virginity at age 15.5 on average whereas non-rapists lost it at age 16.5 on average. Rapists had their first date at age 14.9 on average whereas non-rapists had their first date at age 15.4 on average. In another study, men who commit sexual assault had an average of 23.76 sex partners compared to 16.95 for men who never commit sexual assault. The median numbers were 9 sex partners for male sexual assault perpetrators and 6 for non-perpetrators, respectively, and the mode numbers of were 3 and 2, respectively. The average number of sex partners for male victims of sexual assault was 21.37 sex partners compared to 16.83 for male non-victims. The median numbers of sex partners were 9 and 6, respectively, and the mode numbers were 3 and 2, respectively. In this sample, "the present analysis is confined to the 3,978 men and 7,817 women who responded to questions concerning their ever having been involved in a sexual assault, either as a perpetrator or as a victim. Participants ranged in age from 17 to 56, with a mean of 22."

In the book Rape Investigation Handbook by John O. Savino and Brent E. Turvey, they write:

"Groth (1979, p. 5) dispels the myth of the predominance of 'loner' and socially outcast rapists by explaining that 'one third of the offenders that we worked with were married and sexually active with their wives at the time of their assaults. . . . Of those offenders who were not married (that is, single, seperated, or divorced), the majority were actively involved in a variety of consenting sexual relationships with other persons at the time of their offenses." Also, "furthermore, Groth and Hobson (1983, p. 161), who studied 1,000 offenders over a 16-year period, found the following: 'All of the offenders we have seen were sexually active males involved in consensual relationships at the time of their offense. No one raped because he had no other outlet for his sexual needs."

Fraternity men in college often tend to attract a lot of women and are often popular among their peers. Studies show that fraternity men are much more likely to commit rape or sexual assault and sorority girls are more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted. Studies also have shown that college athletes, despite being a tiny percent of the population, comprise a much larger percentage of college domestic assaults, rapes, and sexual assaults. College men who played aggressive sports in high school are more likely to engage in sexual coercion, more likely to be sexist or hostile towards women, are more accepting of violence, and are more likely to engage in psychological or physical aggression in their college dating relationships. Also, married rapists are just as sexually active with their wife as married non-rapists.

Zero intimate partner violence perpetrators are virgins who struggle to find a partner and it is extremely rare (virtually non-existent) for rapists to be virgins (whether involuntary virgins or voluntary virgins by choice).

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT suggesting that all sexually active men or promiscuous men are rapists or misogynists, nor is it suggesting that all fraternity guys or athletes are violent towards women. Many of these men are non-violent and aren't misogynists. This is NOT suggesting that men who visit strip clubs or watch porn are misogynists. In fact, many studies show that men who watch porn are less sexist and people who believe porn should be outlawed are more sexist. I do NOT intend to scapegoat sexually successful men, but it is wrong for people to stereotype virgins as potential criminals or misogynists. Many people assume that misogynistic men are usually virgins when this is false. This stereotype comes from blackpilled incel forums and nice guy syndrome guys. These guys comprise only a tiny percentage of virgin men. On one incel forum I found (which has members from various regions of the world), the forum has only less than 14,000 members, and many of these users are either banned or inactive. This is way less than .01% of the population of Earth.

Social media emphasizes the rare virgins who hate women and ignores the usual misogynists

So why does it seem like virgin men are more misogynistic instead of sexually successful men? Well, one reason is that what you observe online doesn't always reflect real life. Just because you see blackpilled incels and nice guy syndrome guys everywhere online doesn't mean they are super common in real life. Statistics are far more reliable than cherry-picked, often misleading examples you see online. I think the reason why you see these rare virgin misogynists online but not the usual misogynists is because there's a link between social isolation and increased social media use. Adult virgins who are NOT virgin by choice are more likely to have been bullied, ostracized or socially withdrawn during childhood or teen years, and many might suffer from shyness or social anxiety. Many didn't make friends in childhood and teen years and were socially withdrawn. As a result, some might resort to frequently using the internet and talking to people online perhaps to compensate for social isolation. Also, men who conform to traditional masculine stereotypes tend to have more sexual success and are viewed as more sexually attractive by women. As a result, the usual misogynists (who are hypermasculine and promiscuous) won't express emotions or vent online, whereas virgin men are less likely to conform to traditional masculine stereotypes. They engage in less risky behaviors and are more likely to have a low sex drive. Also, virgin men are heavily stigmatized by society. In turn, social media often will emphasize virgin misogynists and sweep the usual misogynists (who are hypermasculine and promiscuous) under the rug because virgin men are an easy target for ridicule whereas sexually active men are the opposite. Hypermasculine, sexually active men are seen as "real men" by society, and they're often seen as more sexually attractive by women (studies often have shown that many women won't date virgins). Subreddits like niceguys and inceltear are really just mock subreddits that really just waste their time mocking these men because they're an easy target (I don't think people on these subs actually care about women despite gynocentric views of theirs). In fact, many text message conversations on niceguys often are cliched, satirical and show the same exact thing each time, which makes me suspect that a large percentage of them are fake conversations by a Reddit user's friend masquerading as a nice guy for karma points. And some of these guys might not have nice guy syndrome, and when they used the word "nice", they may have meant "I was just saying 'hi'" when they said "I was just being nice". Many of these guys aren't necessarily the passive, unassertive, overly nice men who self-identify as nice guys. Either way, all of these text message conversations are cherry-picked, which creates misinformation, and some of these men may have perhaps had lots of sex, relationships, or dating in their life for all one knows.

Women are much safer around a virgin man than they are around a chick magnet. Sexually successful men commit virtually all cases of violence against women.

So how do we get rid of blackpilled incel forums? Well first of all, incel forums initially didn't have any extremism. The word was coined in the 90s by a woman who created a forum for involuntarily celibate people (including women). Forums like IncelSupport existed in the 2000s and were pro-women and prohibited misogyny or any extremist content. Love-shy.com was created back then, but the original admin of the site left and inadvertently gave it to some misogynistic man, who then influenced the entire forum and changed it into a completely different forum. Pretty soon, 4chan users (who have many extremists) joined the forum and their users on both websites overlapped, creating the modern incel forums you have today. This explains why many modern incel forums share 4-chan-friendly memes and slang words. If that love-shy admin didn't give his website to an extremist inadvertently, maybe the modern incel forums wouldn't exist and love-shy.com wouldn't have become so extremist. Also, the Internet often had extremists in general everywhere (although not as much as nowadays now that staff on social media are more strict these days and society's more politically correct), which lead to some invading all kinds of forums, virgin forum or not. In the study "Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis" from 2001, none of the participants they surveyed from involuntary celibacy forums were extremists, and a fair amount of users on these forums were women (although men were still a majority but definitely NOT a vast majority).

The reason why incels have resorted to the more extremist forums is because society stigmatizes virgins, laughs at them, and views them as losers. Virgins often cannot reveal their virginity without the risk of being ridiculed or ostracized. Many women won't even date a virgin and often call it a red flag once you're in your 20s. And when people are polite to virgins, they often trivialize their problems and say "sex is not important there's more to life than sex" and tell them to get over it instead of helping them find a romantic or sexual partner. People also often will give patronizing advice such as "get a haircut and shower", implying that virgins have bad hygiene which was never proven true. Talk about microaggressions! Many of these incels resorted to these forums because they have a place where they won't get gaslighted or harassed and will feel welcomed. Even on foreveralone you'll have people visiting the forum from time to time trivializing their problems. Many extremist groups recruit lonely or stigmatized people or others susceptible to influence because these people look for a group where they feel welcomed. If society stopped stigmatizing virgins, stopped trivializing their problems, showed more empathy towards sexually frustrated virgins and stopped being so gynocentric and misandrist, these modern incel forums wouldn't attract any potential members. If we as a society stop putting pressure on people to have sex and stop stigmatizing virgins, these forums would lose their appeal or influence. Many of these men initially were NOT extremists.

More citations:

https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801298004006006

https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-013-0243-5

https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1177/0306624X08316711

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Marie-Aude-Boislard/publication/337065507_Why_Do_Socially_Withdrawn_Children_Tend_to_Become_Heterosexually_Active_Later_than_Their_Peers_A_Mediation_Model/links/5dde77fe92851c83644bf97e/Why-Do-Socially-Withdrawn-Children-Tend-to-Become-Heterosexually-Active-Later-than-Their-Peers-A-Mediation-Model.pdf

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224490109552083

Haydon, A. A., Cheng, M. M., Herring, A. H., McRee, A.-L., & Halpern, C. T. (2013). Prevalence and Predictors of Sexual Inexperience in Adulthood. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 43(2), 221–230. doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0164-3