I detected that I have a source of anxiety based on the economics of whatever relationship I will have (whether serious or non serious) because I'm usually expected to pay for the first dates, or provide more than 50% of the total expenses.

I feel that as a woman this is easier because it's not mandatory to have money for dates, and in a serious relationship you can be okay by contributing anything from 0 to 50% of the total expenses. But as a man you are expected to provide anything from 50 to 100%.

This has been causing a lot of distress and ruining some of my personal relationships.

I wish I could NOT have this load on my back. Which would make everything easier. With this stress, I can't relax.

I think that from now on I will only date people from "dutch" countries in which they make sure to divide all the expenses 50 and 50.