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Does Anyone Know if this case was ever heard?: Divorced Men Call Alimony Unconstitutional

bernierbruh

November 11, 2018

25 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Does Anyone Know if this case was ever heard?: Divorced Men Call Alimony Unconstitutional
Author	bernierbruh
Upvotes	25
Comments	9
Date	November 11, 2018 9:59 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/9w7wya/does_anyone_know_if_this_case_was_ever_heard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/does-anyone-know-if-this-case-was-ever-heard.1183910 https://theredarchive.com/post/1183910

Comments

[–]Fathernomore 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MRMRising 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]bernierbruh 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]1angrydad 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm 51 years old, I have made 6 figures most of my career. I got divorced last year, my wife now gets LITERALLY 75% of every dollar I take home in a given month. She has the house as well. I have been living on credit cards for over a year now, but my career is tanking since I moved to a new part of the country so I'll never be able to pay them off. I am alcoholic, diabetic, over weight and incredible depressed and anxious. I get maybe 4 hours of sleep a night anymore, unless I drink. I think I hit bottom last night in a physical altercation with my adult son.

I'm saying all that to say this: I too think about killing myself many, many times a day. The humiliation and hopelessness is just soul crushing and overwhelming. I understand your position, and it will get worse believe me.

Start planning right now, this very minute, to live on 1/4 of your current income. Save every penny, cut all costs from Netflix to starbucks and put that shit away. sell everything you absolutely do not need for CASH and sock that shit away as best you can. There are web sites you can go to to help plan and get legal advice. You can soften the suffering you have coming if plan accordingly.

And as for the killing myself part, like i said I am pretty sure I hit bottom last night. As a disabled veteran I have access to mental health care and addiction counseling, and I intend to use it. There are surprisingly few resources available to men in our situation, but they are there if you seek them out. Do it. I spent 22 years putting 3 other people first in everything I did, every decision I made. Now in my most desperate hours, all three of them just want their money, so I have to put myself first in the mental health arena now as well. My life does matter outside of those people, and so does yours.

This might not work for you, but every time I get close to putting a little .38 snub nose on the last $300.00 I have a available on a credit card, I remind myself that if I do that, then she wins. She gets the life insurance, my half of the house, all of it as well as getting to see my kids become full grown adults and start having kids. Everything I want, she gets.

Fuck that, bro. Don't give her the satisfaction. Plan ahead, dig in and get angry. But smart angry, cunning angry, self survival angry. That's the choice I made last night. It's gonna suck, but it's my life and I want it back.

You should want that too.

[–]bernierbruh 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1angrydad 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So one of the things I dealt with when it came time to make the settlement was the fact that it could have been much, much worse. she gets the house, half my retirement, half my VA disability and I have to pay her $3k a month as well as carry $300k in life insurance with her as the beneficiary. Despite ALL that, I was told time and again by people that would know, that it could have been worse. We came up with our own agreement and the Judge signed off on it. I really cant imagine things being worse than they are now.

My point being: you cannot win this war. The system is rigged against you, horribly. Not only the legal system, but lawyers as well. An acquaintance of mine in a previous job fought his ex for almost a year, mostly out of spite. He got his ass handed to him in the end, but the lawyers made out like bandits. And in hind sight he realized that's all they (the lawyers) wanted. They saw his pockets and went for it, bled him nearly dry. In my state, the man has to pay the legal fees of the woman if she is a stay at home mother, which she was, so the lawyers had nothing to lose.

Don't fall into that trap either. Find out whats fair, reasonable and common and try to get as close to that as you can.

[–]bernierbruh 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MRMRising 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThomasPollock 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link