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Found on Facebook

SolarStun

February 22, 2016
65 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://imgur.com/gallery/nfhZeMt
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Post Information
Title Found on Facebook
Author

SolarStun

Upvotes 65
Comments 40
Date February 22, 2016 4:44 PM UTC
(10 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/471nw8/found_on_facebook/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/found-on-facebook.955571
https://theredarchive.com/post/955571

Comments

[–]bertreapot 16 points17 points18 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Rapists don't attend consent workshops, nor do they major in gender studies.

[–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't matter if they did attend. If awereness sessions would prevent crime, it would be amazing, but sadly that's not the practical reality.

[–]quwertie 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, it's possible they do. Rape rates have gone down significantly.

[–]Antrophis 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They have been forever. All violent crime is in decline. It has nothing to do with asinine consent courses.

[–]JebberJabber 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If you had read as many first-hand accounts by women describing their rapes as I have I don't think you would say that. It is not uncommon for a woman to feel raped, and the man be unaware of that there was a serious problem beyond her being unenthusiastic.
These cases don't end up in court but they can still do a lot of damage.

[–]bufedad 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

and the man be unaware of that there was a serious problem beyond her being unenthusiastic.

That's because there wasn't a serious problem beyond her being unenthusiastic.

Unenthusiastic consent, is still consent.

The most effective programs for preventing the type of "rape" you refer to, that I am aware of, are the ones that teach women not to consent when they don't mean it. Go figure. If you don't want to consent.... don't consent... and then guys don't have sex with you when you don't want to consent, but do (but secretly, inwardly don't).

[–]JebberJabber 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

In some universities consent workshops are now compulsory, so 100% of the rapists for that year will have attended a consent workshop. It remains to be seen how effective this will be.

I wouldn't expect gender studies majors to be doing a lot of raping but there would surely be some.

[–]bertreapot 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Even so, I imagine the rules given to you at most consent workshops don't comport with the actual behavior of your average college student. If they teach a "yes means yes" standard, no one is going to ask "may I?" before every move. If they taught something practical, then that would be different.

Still, for an actual rapist I'm sure it will still fall on deaf ears.

[–]JebberJabber 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

I have seen a few active consent policies, all of them mentioned that "yes" does NOT need to be verbal.
Verbal consent would be useful for autistic people I guess, they find sex very difficult.

The string of verbal consents is just a scare story so far as I can see. Since this is a new thing there will presumably be isolated examples of literal-minded teachers taking it too far, and some people will become obsessed with these cases.

The problem of teaching consent theory and skills in a way that works in the real lives of the recipients is very well recognised. That is why the workshop format with specialist facilitators is typically used, rather than having a PE teacher lecturing at the students as is so disastrously done in many US schools.

One typical activity is to show several film clips of typical scenarios and get the kids to discuss them - was there consent, how was it signalled, what else could each of them done, what could any bystanders do.

On the other hand, some institutions will just want to cover their asses by ticking the "we taught consent" box with as little expenditure as possible and without challenging the beliefs of the kids or their parents.

Yes, the hardcore rapists are unlikely to change their behaviour at all. Their victims will hopefully be more savvy and sure of themselves though. Rape often isn't usually about overwhelming physical force.

[–]bertreapot 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

kids and parents? we are talking about college, here

[–]JebberJabber 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Parents are involved in choosing colleges.
At my age anyone under early 20s is a kid. ;-)

[–]bertreapot 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

True, but on the other hand I doubt parents are helping their kids choose what school to go to based on their sexual consent policies.

Honestly I don't think consent classes are necessary, I think "don't be a douche" classes and "don't sleep with crazy" classes are necessary. If you don't sleep with drunk girls, no matter how consensual it seemed at the time, you won't have to worry about a false sexual assault accusation. Same with not dating mentally unstable women. You don't need "yes means yes" if you stick to these guidelines.

[–]JebberJabber 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree consent classes are largely a catch-up class in specific applications of basic manners, for those who don't have a general backround in manners.

Not having sex with a new or newish partner while drunk would avoid a huge amount of trouble. I think they should teach in school that inability to have sex without being drunk is a sexual disability, to be both pitied and feared by both sexes.

In my sex life I have never given a second's thought to legal consent, let alone the possibility of a false rape accusation.
It hasn't been a problem. I'm OK knowing I didn't get laid sometimes when a more forceful guy would have taken the risk and it probably would have worked out fine. Probably isn't good enough, for her or me.

[–]bertreapot 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

In my sex life I have never given a second's thought to legal consent, let alone the possibility of a false rape accusation.

I think you're probably in the majority, which is good. The more forceful guy who takes the risk or the guy who goes out hoping to get laid are probably asking for trouble.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

In some universities consent workshops are now compulsory, so 100% of the rapists for that year will have attended a consent workshop.

They are 100% compulsory for men. So, half of rapists for that year will not attend a consent workshop.

[–]JebberJabber 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy crap, what university is making them compulsory for men only?

[–]KrisK_lvin 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If you think that’s bad … there’s this.

[–]Gawernator 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Cringe

[–]KrisK_lvin 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And then some.

[–]garglemesh42 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How about this?

http://imgur.com/O15COVu

[–]KrisK_lvin 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not very nice, no … but I don’t know about you, but I’m a lot less worried about extremely badly drawn angst from a highly-strung Tumblerette than "A comedy channel for women, by women” directed by a professional (Sarah Rotella) with professional actors and I suspect - this is my guess only and could be completely wrong - gets at least part of its funding support from something like The Canada Council for the Arts.

[–]sujukarasnsd 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Thanks to this, I will no longer rape anyone.

I never knew that rape was wrong and I would never want to hurt someone. Thank you, facebook person, for showing me the way to not be a rapist" ~ ( )

[+][deleted] 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SolarStun[S] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

How is it photoshopped? Even if it is it doesn't help that people take it seriously on Facebook. I left out the comment section but it was ridiculous.

[+][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SolarStun[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I see! It's sad that people still eat this shit up.

Edit: Never mind I don't see

[–]Gawernator 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nonsense.

[–]Kinbaku_enthusiast 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought this was satire.

When a sign says "You can walk on the grass on sundays" it means you can't walk on the grass on other days. It's where the expression "the exception that proves the rule" comes from.

So when a sign says: "When someone is drunk, don't rape them", I'm not sure if this sends the signal that the writer is intending to send, ie: it's fine to rape people when they aren't drunk.

[–]Santaball 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Is it me or can you make out men's something on the otherwise at the top?

[–]SolarStun[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I see that too, looks like another sign is facing the other way on the glass. I can't make out the whole thing, but i can at least read "about men's" there.

[–]oscillating000 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You guys...do realize that this is satire...right?

I mean...right?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Cool. If I follow this list you claim solves all the problems, will I stop being assumed guilty, and blamed as a gender for what only a small number do?...yeah...didn't think so.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This is a serious question...Are they now equating wanting consequence free sex as rape?

[–]Nissa-Nissa 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

free sex? money wise or otherwise?

[–]SolarStun[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That is how I read it.

[+][deleted] 10 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]SolarStun[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What if a guy is drunk and a girl sleeps with him? Does it work both ways?

[+][deleted] 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]JebberJabber 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It is satire. The piece in bold is tacked on, the original was a ten-point list which took safety advice given to women and reframed it as advice to men.

[–]Kubricksmind 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

/r/wtf

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