I think this is wrong. what do you think? (from 2xchromosomes)

girlwriteswhat · 2011-08-21T17:06:12+00:00

Because when you leave an abusive woman, if you have children, you're essentially leaving your children alone with an abuser. Your relationship with your children will be completely altered, or even wiped out altogether.

Because she can and will--since we already know she's a heinous bitch who is abusive--destroy everything you've worked for, and some men believe that keeping that intact is more important than being happy. They believe this because society tells men that their success is more important than their happiness.

How do you start over, get a new relationship, when you're still paying to support an ex? If I lived in the US, I'd be leery of a relationship with a divorced man who paid alimony, because in many cases MY income will be rolled into calculations of how much he can afford to pay her. I know of one man in his 70s who can't retire because his ex (who is cohabitating with another man) takes $1500 of his pension income every month, leaving him $600, and after repeated attempts he could not get a reduction.

How do you start over under those circumstances? How do you walk away from your kids and leave them in the sole care of an abusive woman?

Blaidd_Dwrg · 2011-08-21T11:17:32+00:00

It's somewhat uncommon to see discussions about men trapped in abusive relationships. Normally the discussion is about women with abusive partners. The same question always arises: why do people stay in these situations? Why don't they get the hell out?

I stayed with my wife for far longer than I should have done. She was making my life a living hell and it almost killed me. I stayed because I could not bear the thought of not seeing my children every day. I still wish I could see them every day, but at least now that I no longer have an abusive woman destroying me emotionally I can be a decent father to them on the days I do see them.

kloo2yoo · 2011-08-21T14:14:28+00:00

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/d8omt/list_of_resources_for_men_in_need_of_immediate/

Peter_Principle_ · 2011-08-21T09:52:16+00:00

They cannot afford the divorce and are afraid to lose their children. In divorce, the courts and children can become weaponised and become far more damaging than the abuse at home. Staying in the abusive relationship is likley easier than financial ruin, losing your children and whatever hell the court case turns into.

kloo2yoo · 2011-08-21T14:17:57+00:00

if the men want a divorce, here are some tips

tomek77 · 2011-08-21T13:40:25+00:00

What is so hard to understand? If they leave, they will lose their children and be financially ruined for decades. If they're unlucky and lose their job or have a health problem, they may even be jailed as "dead-beats".

These women know it, and that's why they are so abusive. It's not rocket science..

Men: don't. get. married. Don't fucking do it. Like so many of my married friends, you will be stuck in a sexless abusive relationship with a woman who has absolute power to evict you from your home, kidnap your children, have you incarcerated, steal your money and pension, and reduce you to financial slavery and abject poverty for decades..

I know a few divorced men, and let me tell you, if kids are involved, the divorce is never "final". Their ex-wives can easily make their life a living hell by refusing visitation, making false accusation or asking for extra child-support money - they know it, so the abusive relationship still goes on beyond divorce.. and some women at that age are frustrated because their looks are fading, and don't hesitate to take their anger out on the ex-husband.. just sayin'

2011-08-22T07:27:13+00:00

Almost all abuse victims are afraid to leave their abuser for fear of the economic, physical, legal, and societal consequences. They often lose everything they have, their friends, their safety with old friend sand family, even their freedom.

There are two groups for which this is especially true. Less so, unemployed housewives with no family ties. More so: male victims.

If you are a guy and a woman hits you, if you in any way hit back you almost certainly will be arrested for DV. If you take the kids, you kidnapped them. Alimony, custody, and child support still typically favor her. Male DV victims are treated with so much distrust and misandry, and get almost none of the protections that female victims get.

Some men and women alike will endure abused to keep their kids, or their lifestyle, or their not being homeless.

Men usually have a lot more to lose if they leave.

ManThoughts · 2011-08-22T10:34:42+00:00

He'll lose his children, he'll lose his finances, and he'll have an entire society telling him he's abandoned his wife and kids. If he tries to get couples therapy the therapist will tell him it is all his fault. He has no DV shelter to count on, and if he calls the police, it is likely he will be the one arrested.

The solution is for men to never marry.

Title	I think this is wrong. what do you think? (from 2xchromosomes)
Author	skier69
Upvotes	9
Comments	15
Date	August 21, 2011 9:48 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jpjuf/i_think_this_is_wrong_what_do_you_think_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-think-this-is-wrong-what-do-you-think-from.1035649 https://theredarchive.com/post/1035649

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