Tldr at the bottom.

So I'm a father of 5 my youngest son passed away in 2016. We later found out that he died of SIDS. My wife and I live in a pretty small community and we like it here. One morning my wife found my son unresponsive in his bed, we called 911, I tried to resuscitate him while we waited for the paramedics. They took him and the police showed up so did the fire department and all that. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be coming back but there's hope. The police let my wife go to the hospital, even take her there. I needed to stay home and make other arrangements for my older kids. Eventually they take me to the hospital as well and we got word that he was completely unresponsive to medical intervention and was officially pronounced dead.

Here's where the fun starts. My wife goes to her best friend's house which happens to be directly beside ours, I get taken to the police station for questioning. I get put in a little room with a metal table and chair and a camera and they start grilling me. Asking me if I beat my kids, asking me what I did to him, telling me that things would be easier for me if I just admitted to hurting him etc. This is not even 3 hours after I was fighting to bring him back to life. It was painful, really painful. When the 'interview' was finally over the detective asking me questions turned off the camera, sighed, brought his chair over to my side of the table, grabbed my two hands in his, sat down and told me how sorry he was that he had to do that. I remember his voice cracking a couple times and he told me he knew I had nothing to do with it but he has to do his job and ask. I started to cry, he was very reassuring and apologetic. He drove me to where my wife was and all is well.

Later that day an old coworker of mine messaged me and said he heard something terrible had happened and wanted to know if we were okay. I filled him in on what happened. He was kind enough to let me know that a neighbor across the street saw my son get taken in an ambulance then later saw me get into a police car. She was telling a bunch of people around town that I KILLED MY SON! I was shocked, confused, angry, and hurt by that. I mean I tried so hard to bring him back, I fought to bring him back, I would have given my life to just have him breathe again, I needed him to come back. And in the same day I'm grilled by police and accused of murdering him by a person I don't even know. My wife's friend got so furious she went over to that person's house and flipped out on her for spreading such bullshit. As recently as 6 months ago I had someone ask me about if I hurt my son or not. It was ridiculous!

Anyway, I'm now a stay-at-home dad with a soon to be 2 year old and I also babysit on the side for some of my friends. Whenever I go to the park I get looks from the other moms, and I feel like I'm being surveilled. Two occasions I've been confronted by women to ask why I have so many young children with me. Once an older woman was asking questions of one of the kids I babysit. She asked her if she needed help, if I was her dad, if I took her away from her parents. It was infuriating! I love kids, and frankly I'm good with kids, just because I also happen to be a male doesn't make me a creep, or a pussy or some kind of child molester. It sucks so much to feel like I have to constantly justify myself and defend myself.

I gotta wonder, if I was a woman if any of this would have happened to me. I'm not here to bitch and moan about my rights being stepped on and I get the police have a job to do but jeez...just because I'm a man doesn't mean I don't feel or care or can be mentally scarred by things.

Thank you to those that took the time to read all of this. I really appreciate it.

Tldr:

Son died, police grilled the shit out of me about it. A neighbor was telling many people that I killed my son. I'm a stay-at-home dad and babysit and am questioned and judged a lot by other parents because of the number of kids I have with me. One woman even questioned one of the kids with me.