I’ve seen too many posts on this sub promoting all kinds of false information regarding prenups. Some folks think they can read one thing online saying a prenup got thrown out and then they think they’re a fucking lawyer and starting spewing out BS like prenups are invalid.

This is dangerous messaging to spread and leads men to get married without a prenup which is incredibly dangerous.

Not a lawyer, but have paid well over 10k in legal fees for divorce lawyers so I know what I’m talking about.

Here are the basics and please chime in if you know what you’re talking about or have some questions.

Prenups need to be drafted correctly: 1. Both of you need legal representation 2. You can’t put anything illegal in it (ie she needs to not get fat or anything related to child support) 3. Full disclosure of your assets 4. Give her time to read the document (weeks to months) and wait a few months from signing to marriage 5. Don’t do anything cute in it or have it expire. Make it as iron clad as legally possible. You can always give her more if you want, out of the goodness of your heart, not under threat of imprisonment 6. Optionally get a post-nup. This is required to protect things like government pensions, which can only be waived AFTER marriage, once the spouse is eligible for them 7. Optionally periodically renew the prenup with a post up

If you do that, you have a document with validity. There is no such thing as an iron clad prenup. But that doesn’t mean they’re not useful.

Saying prenups aren’t useful is like saying condoms don’t protect you from all STDs. True, you could still catch HPV or herpes, but you have near perfect protection from HIV.

In addition, there are more things you can do to protect yourself: 1. Put money in trusts (ideally irrevocable) 2. Marry equal or up so you don’t have huge income differences 3. Don’t get legally married (but still get a prenup in case you accidentally get common law’d)

Some idiots online don’t understand that without a prenup, you won’t just lose half your shit, you can lose 75% or more when you add in alimony. Hell if you add in child support, you may even lose up to 90% of your shit, including equity in your home that appreciated, etc. Literally the laws are so bad that you’ll start wondering if we’ve re-invented slavery through family law.

In the case you have a prenup, you might get away with losing 0%. But even if you lose some money, it’s not going to be anything more than 25% of your shit, and even that is really high.

So please, do NOT go around telling people prenups don’t work. It literally is like going around telling people birth control doesn’t work 100% so it’s pointless.