Redditor talks about how he was molested by his baby sitter. Laughs and pats on the back all around.

Idiopathic77 · 2012-12-08T02:57:44+00:00

I get the whole he said he liked it thing. But I look deeper. His use of the words "made me" in regards to the touching. Then the follow up that OP didn't have any sexual interaction again for over 10 years. In fact every person who chimed in with similar stories said the same. "yea I was 9 and she was 16 and we had sex...I didn't have a girl friend until I was 25". That is what any first year psychologist would recognize as repression. They were not confident in pursuing normal healthy sexual development because of their abuse.

I have know female rape victims who were molested young who act like sex is no big deal, they sleep around and say things like "so what it's just fucking". Meanwhile their self image is dieing inside.

Boys react to what is expected. They say they liked it because in their minds they are convinced that they are supposed to have liked it. But the social interaction and personality changes you see tell the real story.

typhonblue · 2012-12-08T00:15:50+00:00

Ugh. What kind of people are so desperate for sex they celebrate child molestation?

2012-12-08T06:25:10+00:00

I see many of the other commentators here saying they see no problem with this particular incident since the victim suffered no trauma, and even "liked it."

I feel like that is a severely problematic stance to take, however. While it's fine to not dictate to the victim how they should feel about their abuse, the MRM frequently concerns itself with how society is quick to dismiss male victims of sexual abuse. The linked comments, in this case, help to perpetuate a culture where male victims of sexual assault can be dismissed, as the received attention "is every young boy's dream" in the words of one commentator. Even worse is that quoted commentator seems to suggest that the crime is somehow less heinous if the abuser is "hot or even mildly attractive," and thus sexual assault of males only 'counts' when the abuser is unattractive. This is what feminists call 'rape culture.'

Edit: Removed a word that I realized greatly distorted my intention.

Johnthereader · 2012-12-08T07:56:23+00:00

I don't really think it matters if the guy liked it or not. Wasn't he under the age of consent at the time? Doesn't that make it a crime regardless of whether he liked it or not?

That aside though, I'd say that society in general tells boys even at a young age that they're supposed to like touching and looking at breasts, (the stereotype shows up in sitcoms, comic books, all sorts of jokes, and is commonly played upon in episodes of The Simpsons, and Family Guy among others)and if they don't, say because the girl is a bit older, and it feels "kinda wrong," that they are a freak, or possibly homosexual. Boys are considered to always be ready for anything sexual at any time. Therefore, even if he didn't like it then, he might say he did now, because he is expected to.

Of course he might have just honestly liked it too. He said she was hot. He might have had a crush on her. I do not and cannot know, because I wasn't there.

MechPlasma · 2012-12-08T02:28:31+00:00

Can't really complain about this. If they were just talking about a generic situation, it'd be awful, but when the poster actually says they liked it it's completely different. After all, the problem with sexual assault isn't that sex is bad, it's that it can be traumatic - if the 'victim' isn't traumatised in the slightest (or anything related), then there's no problem.

Well I mean there's still a problem of that the 'predator' might go after someone else, and that it should still totally be illegal, but in this context there's no real problem.

2012-12-08T13:04:50+00:00

It creeped.me out how everyone thought he was awesome

babno · 2012-12-08T01:51:15+00:00

He said he liked doing it. If he had expressed distaste or some trauma from the event I (at least hope) people would express their sympathies.

2012-12-08T03:55:59+00:00

This will not be posted on SRS.

tyciol · 2012-12-08T05:31:58+00:00

babysitter use to make me grope her but I didn't tell anyone because I liked doing it despite knowing it was kind of wrong.

If you don't tell someone because you like doing it, is it really being "made to"? Groping is an active action. It's not clarified how she 'made him' do it? What did she do, ask him to? Blackmail him? Threaten him? Knowing what 'made' means here is critical to understanding the context of the situation.

I think that matters regarding whether or not we call this molestation.

The poster later says:

Chubby high school girl that liked Emily the Strange and Spongebob underwear. The type I'd hit so hard just to lose my v-card.

and:

I was a latchkey kid but my parents weren't going to trust me at around 10 years old to care for my little brother

I've asked the poster to clarify some more about it. That a ten year old boy groped the tits of high school student doesn't inherently make it molestation until the context of this is clarified.

I know there's this tendency in MRA to jump on any instance of 'omg older girl and younger boy, let's persecute!' due to the 'good for gander, good for goose' mentality, but we can be realistic about this and not exaggerate situations simply because people do this when the older party is male.

Electroverted · 2012-12-08T04:36:34+00:00

Don't do this, just keep the reddit links positive, please? I don't want this sub to become a male SRS. :)

robert32907 · 2012-12-08T07:20:13+00:00

Down-voted. He wasn't exactly "molested."

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