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[+]AugustHank13 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
The first problem with the term “toxic masculinity” is that it’s an undefined catch-all for what ever feminists want to throw at it. If they don’t like a trait, then it’s toxic.
The second problem is that TM masculinity isn’t being replaced with any other kind of masculinity. It’s all being thrown out. It’s all being framed as an unnatural construct... because that’s the story that suits their purposes. So what do the feminists suggest TM should be replaced with? Well, that’s your choice. There are no standards. Just make it up. You define masculinity anyway you want to.
That’s not how it works with men. Whether feminists believe it or not, masculinity is exclusive to men. You can’t make it up. Men and women aren’t just biologically different. We’re also emotionally, physically, mentally different. Masculinity’s most basic qualities are part of the fabric of men. Strength. Courage. Mastery. Honor. I don’t dispute that some men do bad things. I don’t dispute that men who would do bad things should be held to higher standards. But, the arbiters and guardians of masculinity should not be women. Those roles are for men. Men need to step up. We police ourselves. We define masculinity...or rather nurture our best innate qualities in each other...the qualities that make us men. Women don’t get to define who we are...or deny us of who we are...anymore than we get to define who they are.
[–]ImplodedPotatoSalad -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LastRounder 6 points7 points8 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]mashiweirk[S] 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]petmop999 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]mashiweirk[S] -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]tiredfromlife2019 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]HeartOfSky-7 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Don't reframe it. Just don't be it and don't tolerate it in others.
[–]ImplodedPotatoSalad 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mashiweirk[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]HeartOfSky3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
What I'm trying to say is that there is no point adopting the monicre of TM so it can be reframed. Clearly, you're not a toxic person. You're way too introspective for that. All you need to be is the best you that you've met so far. If he's masculine as well, then it's just not toxic.
I'm. 45 y/o gay male. I didn't find my masculinity until just these past couple of years. While I was caught up in my trauma, I had a toxic effect. When I healed, and subsequently found my masculinity, I realized there's not a damned thing toxic about it.
[–]mashiweirk[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]maxlvb 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HeartOfSky 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link