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Sad Reading The Comments

Anakin-Skyrunner

May 17, 2017
3 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6bgkcj/im_seriously_thinking_about_remarrying_my_exwife/?st=J2S8LWWV&sh=04dcc675
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Post Information
Title Sad Reading The Comments
Author

Anakin-Skyrunner

Upvotes 3
Comments 24
Date May 17, 2017 12:17 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6blbmc/sad_reading_the_comments/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/sad-reading-the-comments.922525
https://theredarchive.com/post/922525

Comments

[–]mwobuddy 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

Don't get married. Just find a women you hate and buy her a house

Bingo

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

I understand the position against marriage. I get that it isn't for everyone. I would still support that institution anyhow.

I think (purely opinion) that every marriage will face a crisis or two. If a couple can hold off on the HUGE, romantic gesture/commitment until they have weathered a crisis together, they might have a better chance. If your partner, with no legal obligation, fully supports you, doesn't undermine you, and stands up for you in the darkest times, marriage can work.

I don't suggest anyone manufacture a crisis, and I don't mean to condemn anyone's choices. I just think that how someone performs and behaves under pressure is a very important thing to know before making a lifelong commitment.

[–]mwobuddy 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

70% divorce rate. I don't think anyone's manufacturing a crisis that isn't there. If we had a 70% rape rate, our society would be going insane.

[–]Taylor1391 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Comparing divorce and rape is pretty much the definition of manufacturing a crisis.

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

No... its actually pretty similar. Not all rape victims feel the same level of trauma, or perhaps any, depending on context. Not all divorce victims feel the same level of trauma, etc. But, plenty of divorces end up with male suicides over years of emotional abuse.

[–]Dembara 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Are there any numbers on the percents? I know it happens, but I have no idea the rates.

[–]Sarin_G_Series -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

By "manufacture a crisis," I meant that I don't suggest someone cause trouble just to test their partner.

[–]PowerToAnnihilate 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

If your partner, with no legal obligation, fully supports you, doesn't undermine you, and stands up for you in the darkest times, marriage can work.

that is a big fucking if that can change at literally any time without reason, warning and will destroy your finances for the rest of your life.

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I meant that one would benefit from knowing that "if" beforehand. You're correct, of course.

[–]PowerToAnnihilate 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah of course. The problem is no matter how sure you are it's still a huge risk with next to no benefit.

What do married couples "have" that dating couples not have? Sex? Parental approval? A chance to have kids?

No to all of the above

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Nothing quantitative, in all honesty. In my case, it's because I know I love my spouse, and there's no deeper(legally, not belittling lifelong extra-marital arrangements) commitment I can think of that doesn't involve wierd surgery or something.

[–]PowerToAnnihilate 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Im glad it has worked out for you, I have a fantastic girlfriend ATM. She is pretty-much as perfect as I will get. I don't think I will marry her unless laws and culture changes so I don't get assfucked if she leaves ever.

Its just not smart for me to tie the knot. She knows this too.

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I hear you. Prenuptial agreements are binding though, and she sounds reasonable. If you ever convince yourself that you will never need anyone else, at least consider it. I don't mean to tell you how to live, just give every option a fair shake.

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven't really looked into it, but I do believe there are some legal benefits to being married. I base this on the narrative of same-sex couples upset about being denied legal rights enjoyed by heterosexual spouses, prior to legal recognition of homosexual marriage.

Edit: Have only been married three years.

Addendum: From USA. I don't care to presume your national origin.

[–]Daemonicus 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

The problem is... People change. You can't predict what your brain does, or how the chemicals change over time. Since you can't predict it for yourself, how are you going to predict it for someone else? Impossible.

This is true regardless of a shared crisis. Sure, you might have been able to get through it just fine, and your relationship becomes stronger because of it. But how long does that last? It doesn't mean that every crisis will be conquered. Even a lesser crisis wouldn't guarantee a positive outcome. It might not even take a crisis. It could just be something petty, or even "time to move on".

It's simply not worth it.

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I can't offer an absolute, my dude. I can't evaluate a real/material risk against a subjective/legal gain. I mean to say that a relationship, tried by fire, is a better candidate for permanency. What my entire perspective, in this context, boils down to is this: Marriage performs a positive function for some people; nobody can say, with any authority that it is a useless institution, absolutely. I fully recognize the disparity in risks between the sexes, but I don't think marriage is completely void of benefits.

[–]Daemonicus 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What does marriage offer that a long term relationship can't, besides tax benefits?

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Nothing, objectively. I get a personal satisfaction from referring to my wife as such, and I can't imagine that I am the only husband that feels this way. It's entirely subjective, and mayhap even a bit selfish, but I like being married and reconciling it with the traditional views with which I was raised. Sure, there are elements of conditioning tinting my perspective, but I truly feel enriched by the arrangement. I don't think marriage is the right path for everyone, nor is it any sort of "duty," I just need to point out that it can be good for some people.

[–]Daemonicus 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's fair, and I appreciate the honesty. If it works for you, that's great. You can still have that without the legal contract, and I would like to see religious people trying to untie a religious ceremony from government hands.

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I gave you back some k's because we were talking about different things.

[–]Sarin_G_Series 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you then, sir. Your consideration is refreshing. I truly didn't mean to imply that men are not at a grossly disproportionate risk in marriage.

[–]Dembara 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What's sad about it?

[–]Anakin-Skyrunner2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

People complaining about how it's unfair to be a man. But they don't know how right they are. It's all funny and games over there but it's a serious problem. I think when there's humor involved people are more willing to admit that there really is a problem with marriage. But if you subscribe to MRA you're a bigot automatically.

[–]perplexedm1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Truth not looking beautiful.

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