Hey all. I haven’t posted here before, and I apologize for doing so from an alt account. I am pretty paranoid about digital privacy and being stalked or found by people I know.

Just some quick background about me. I’m 30, ftm transsexual, and gay. I’ve lived as a man my whole adult life, I’m masculine and pass and am assumed to be biologically male by everyone I encounter. For a lot of reasons I don’t really participate in the LGBT community or subscribe to a lot of the ideological stuff that gets pushed. I’m just a dude, it’s whatever. Not sure how common this is around here and I hope it’s cool to post.

Today was kind of the last straw for me. I’ve had plenty of encounters with misandry, my life has become much lonelier, I am treated like I am less human by my female friends. Today I was publicly shamed in a group chat with friends after trying to speak up about my experiences with women speaking badly of men in the mental health support groups I attend. I was sharing some of my own personal feelings about how I feel my pain is dismissed because I am a man… and I was during the course of this conversation called a misogynist and told I was dismissing women’s experiences and hijacking the conversation away from someone else who needed emotional support.

When I have expressed needing support I have often been met with silence and platitudes. I am the only man in the group. I am also the only person in the group who does not have a meaningful support system in my life. I am lonely, I miss being touched or hugged. It seems like everywhere I turn for support, the spaces are female-dominated and very comfortable with misandry.

I don’t know, I felt so humiliated. I have always had better friendship experiences with males but they tend to be rare for me because I am quieter, more sensitive, I grew up a girl so and I am attracted to men so I think that contributes. I am considering going to a men’s support group and seeing if I get more from that.

I guess maybe where I am going with this is that, I have been having a male social experience but I lack some of the support structures I think some men navigate more naturally by virtue of growing up boys, like a male friend group, how men socialize with each other, that kind of thing.

Anyways sorry, this was way too long I just need to get it off my chest. I’ve been struggling for a long time and today just felt like a breaking point in terms of needing to change where I get support from.