Teaching Positive Masculinity

YetAnotherCommenter · 2014-05-15T03:31:55+00:00

Anti-rape and anti-violence activists like Jackson Katz have been talking for years about the “macho paradox” and telling young men how it perpetuates violence against women. The National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) traces its roots to the 1970s. It counts “unlearning aggressiveness” and “un-learning large parts of the male role” among its basic tenets, and states in its principles that “men can live as happier and more fulfilled human beings by challenging the old-fashioned rules of masculinity.” “Reimagining masculinity” has also been a theme in the men’s movement for some time.

Feminists have no intention of allowing men to compete fairly with women as a grievance group, and some have turned their pleas for men to “reimagine masculinity” into an impatient command for men to “man up.” Men are being told that they had better get out of their funk and abandon their “musty scripts” of masculinity in a hurry, because the globalist, feminist future isn’t waiting for them any longer. Women are moving up, and if men need to do “girly jobs” to help women make ends meet or become stay-at-home dads to pick up a successful working mom’s slack, then feminists say that’s just how it’s going to have to be. Men had better tie on their aprons and learn to like it.

The hypocrisy of feminists telling men to “man up” is that it invokes the same ancient masculine archetypes that all those who have tried to “reimagine masculinity” have been trying to put to bed. They are ham-handedly trying to tap into the power of the very same “male culture” that they want to break down. They are telling men to prove their masculinity, after saying that men should no longer have to do that. They are selling men liberation from the “man code” and then telling men how they must behave to be considered “good men.”

In effect, feminists are now saying that a man must be strong, courageous and even heroic in his willingness to sacrifice his own interests for the good of the tribe. From the mouths of feminists, this is crass and manipulative. Males may be faltering in the educational achievement, but they’re not dumb. Men in the past have made great sacrifices for honor and glory and the esteem of their male peers—not to mention rewards of booty and women. Feminists want men to shame and abandon the bold manhood of their forefathers for a pat on the head and the privilege of being called kitchen bitches.

... The reimaginers of masculinity have realized, perhaps subconsciously, that men still want to feel like men. To humor men and better acclimate them to a captive, powerless existence, the reimaginers have taken it upon themselves to decorate the cage a bit. They have attempted to provide safe narratives that offer men the feel of expressing a virtual virility without the danger it poses to the interests of women and the status quo. They have brainstormed for ways to empower men without actually giving them any real power. To pacify man, they offered him only the “mother-may-I” masculinities most compatible with the interests of women.

It is truly profound that, when the reimaginers of masculinity prepared to sell their domesticated manhoods to everyday man, even they could not imagine a way to appeal to him without resorting to coercive testing language of the male groups, the primal vocabulary of violence or by appealing to his desire to demonstrate strength, courage, mastery and a sense of honor.

HolySchmoly · 2014-05-15T10:20:52+00:00

Will we be teaching positive femininity any time soon, or is that verbotten?

nicemod · 2014-05-15T04:21:35+00:00

Of course, no one talks about the girls and women who enable, support and reward "macho" and "douche" behavior.

anon_and_on · 2014-05-15T11:18:19+00:00

The problem I see is one of framing.

If you state any characteristic I have that you find positive as feminine and anything you don't aprove of as masculine then you are inherently framing masculine as negative or "toxic". So when I nurture my kids I've had family etc say you are at ease with your "feminine" qualities. This is inherently dangerous, I am nuturing, agressive, focusused, caring, analytical blah blah blah and reject the notion that quality x is feminine and quality y masculine we all have most qualities to a greater or lesser degree.

IgnatiusBSamson · 2014-05-15T17:00:55+00:00

TIL that masculinity is all about how men behave toward women, and nothing else.

EvilPundit · 2014-05-15T04:03:15+00:00

The article is another feminist rant about "toxic masculiity".

Comments are open - go leave yours, as I've left mine! It's impotrtant to challenge misandry whenever possible.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2014-05-15T06:55:54+00:00

I absolutely agree that there are negative aspects to traditional masculinity and that we need to challenge them. However, the ideology of "sexual assault prevention" is yet again an attempt to argue that rape is a product of traditional masculinity... an argument I find rather absurd considering that protecting women from violence is a huge component of traditional masculinity and that men who are rapists are often targeted for rape when in prison.

Not only that, but this "reimagining of masculinity" is being done for the purposes of protecting women, i.e. out of a gender-traditional motive. Thus, we aren't really seeing traditional masculinity being challenged.... merely slightly altered to make it more female-friendly. Its rule-abiding-rebellion, not a radical reimagining of manhood, which "anti-rape activists" are participating in.

Finally, yet again we see the implicit assumption that not only is rape a product of masculine gender norms, but that women play no part in contributing to these norms. Frankly, women are just as guilty as men of gender-policing and are just as capable of buying into the system. If you REALLY want to challenge the gender system, you need to challenge women who perpetuate it just as often as men who perpetuate it are challenged.

Title	Teaching Positive Masculinity
Author	TheMisandry
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	May 15, 2014 3:07 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/25lh3n/teaching_positive_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/teaching-positive-masculinity.1000659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1000659