Volcel (Voluntary Celibate)

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-05-06T19:20:38+00:00

you might want to look into 'Men Going Their Own Way' (aka MGTOW).

NAWALT_VADER · 2023-05-06T21:19:36+00:00

Yes, I would suppose I am currently like that. I am not actively attempting to find a relationship. I find myself at peace while single. There is far less stress, workload and expenses now. If I meet someone and fall in love organically, I would not oppose that, but I do not feel I am missing anything by not having my "other half". I am already complete.

pilotlet · 2023-05-06T19:39:11+00:00

Aren't many of you who don't get laid are in a similar situation? How many are actual Incels vs. guys who just went their own way, or refuse to lower standards, or pretend to be looking for something serious when they don't?

The differentiation is clear in this case:

MGTOW - Men going their own way: they reject relationships with women from an absolute monastic way or through paid or very sporadic sexual encounters. An MGTOW is a volcel, but not every volcel is a MGTOW.
Volcel: person who refrains from having sexual relations due to an endless number of reasons, from standards (like your case), religious people who limit sexual relations to marriage or for an endless number of reasons.
Incels: due to their physical appearance or mental conditions, these people, no matter how hard they try, cannot access the sexual market. There is also the incel within a relationship, or the incel for economic matters (muslims-hindus-third world countries) that do not earn enough money, or have a stable job to marry.

Personally I am a soft MGTOW, I have sporadic sex, but nothing more. I do not find an effective benefit in long-term relationships, not by high or particular standards, but, because the benefit is penalized by a high risk.

For practical purposes, most men have been incels at one time or another. It's natural.

dw87190 · 2023-05-07T06:15:34+00:00

There are many blokes like you OP. They don't do hook ups, they say no, their "dry streaks" are entirely their choice. I imagine you differ from MGTOW blokes in your way, but volcel blokes are many

Volcel would apply to me as well. I don't do hook ups anymore, I don't do friends with benefits, I reject women who try to fuck on the first three dates and tell them it's not happening unless I know some serious monogamy is in the future and sexual harassment (plus my history of many women sexually assaulting me when I've said no, plus inflation like seriously 10AUD for a schooner?) really has me disliking bars and pubs these days

Asatmaya · 2023-05-07T14:58:06+00:00

I'm 45, 3 children by two partners, my last fling was with my high school girlfriend, but even that was 8 years ago.

There is kind of a long-term tease situation going on with a lesbian/bisexual couple I am friends with, that I am not opposed to pursuing, but the one time I got the call, I was doing something with my kids, so it may or may not go anywhere, and I am fine with that. I'm not chasing sex just for the sake of sex.

It would be nice to have a partner, but I'm a fairly odd fish (highly educated doing blue collar work, anti-materialist agnostic/atheist, left-wing libertarian, pro-industrial environmentalist, etc), then add in that I'm not much of a drinker... I'm not going to meet my partner in school, at church, or in a bar.

AdIllustrious6191 · 2023-05-11T00:25:28+00:00

45, as you get even older, you'll find that getting laid is less and less of a priority. I'm 62, I own my own house, and I have money in the bank. I retired at 61. Something that would never have been possible with a woman in the picture. Lonely? Sure, but it soon passes, when I can do whatever the hell I want any time I want. I'm content, I've even made peace with the fact I'll die alone. Not a big deal - we all die alone.

WatWasSaid · 2023-05-06T18:54:11+00:00

I am married and voluntarily celibate. I am a practicing Buddhist and so is my wife. We believe that sex is base and tend to avoid more earthly unnecessary things

TrueNeutrall0011 · 2023-05-07T08:30:21+00:00

Before the incel community got shut down during the first lockdown I was there as a wild life researcher and I learned a few things.

No true femcels.
Most incels are volcels there are few truecels. Your title is the reason you are celibate + cel. If you're Indian or Asian you're currycel/ricecel because they are undesirable races according to them lmao.

But you can be nosecel or jawcel or shortcel etc. Depends what's keeping you rejected.

The second is your cope. Everyone has a cope to cope with the fact that they are undesirable. You can gymmaxx, moneymaxx, plastic surgery maxx, etc.

Those are all ways to increase your value and eventually ascend.

The majority of incels are actually gym/work maxxing volcels who eventually grow out of it.

Maybe I'm getting some of that wrong idk it was a brief exposure/education.

I spoke with a femcel for a bit and she wouldn't even send me feet pictures. So yeah. No true femcel indeed. :'(

Signal_Pattern7869 · 2023-05-06T21:50:37+00:00

I can't figure, did you have kids already?

2023-05-07T16:19:26+00:00

So much terminology to learn these days. Incel, femcel, volcel, gymcel, carcel, etc... all lamentations of temporary states. Why can't things be simpler?

imlilyhi · 2023-10-24T04:16:02+00:00

Do you really think dating someone the same age as you is “lowering your standards”? If so, it might be a reflection of how you view yourself.

Title	Volcel (Voluntary Celibate)
Author	Comfortable_Roll_746
Upvotes	18
Comments	17
Date	May 6, 2023 6:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/139yjaq/volcel_voluntary_celibate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/volcel-voluntary-celibate.1218539 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218539

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