Explain keeping frame

TheGreasyPole · 2017-11-03T10:06:18+00:00

Ok,

This can perhaps be demonstrated by a PPD example.

Let’s say some celebrity does something borderline sexist/overtly sexual with a woman.

Let’s suppose there are two OPs started. And each of these put a different frame around the issue.

The first is the frame “X is clearly sexually harassing this woman. How can you guys defend that ?”

This is clearly setting the frame of the conversation in a way that presupposes his guilt of sexual harassment and asks commenters to argue within the frame of “defending someone who has committed a crime from punishement for that crime”.

Another frame for the same conversation might be...

“X did this the other day, do you think that is an example of sexual harassment?”

This doesn’t pre suppose the guilt, and leads to a conversation not “framed” around “letting someone off for a clear crime” but around “was a crime committed at all”.

The setting of the frame in the first example makes it hard to argue that no crime was committed, and all responses can be dealt with in this frame as “So you’re defending sexual harassment are you ?” in a way you can’t in the second frame as guilt isn’t presupposed by the frame.

When RP talks about frames in relationships it’s this type of setup of argumentation they are talking about.... That you shouldn’t argue within the frame the woman brings to the conversation “You were being bad. Defend yourself!” But instead within your own frame for that same conversation “I was doing something perfectly reasonable, you justify to me how this is bad ?”

Arguing within someone else frame normally concedes so much of the argument that it’s difficult to express your view, or make your point, within that frame because often it has been setup specifically to already assume as correct and unarguable the very point you wish to dispute.

It’s on this basis it’s advised not to argue within that frame, by so doing you are hamstringing yourself.

These are the clearest examples (arguments, discussions) but this also applies elsewhere, in dating situations for example.... “So are you going to buy me a drink?” presupposes the frame, for example, that you are a supplicant who has to bring value and gifts merely to be worthy of her “sparing her time” to talk to you.

RP would advise breaking this frame and setting your own perhaps by saying “I don’t buy strange girls drinks, only interesting girls get free drinks. Why don’t you tell me more about yourself then we’ll decide who’s buying the next round”.

It breaks the frame of that conversation (you, a guy, have to persuade me/impress me/supplicate to me to be worth spending time on) and sets it the other way (No, why don’t you impress me. And if you succeed you may get a drink at my discretion ).

That’s basically what frame is about... although I agree with other commenters that it’s often used to mean control your responses/emotions.... as much as resetting the frame your way.

Cho_Assmilk · 2017-11-03T08:54:45+00:00

For me frame is ones ability to handle any situation from their own position of power. To not let your actions be dictated by anything other than what you hope to be achieved. To not let other people's potential approval/disapproval become a variable your thought process.

It's not that it's inherently bad to be in a woman frame, just that women aren't attracted to men who defer to them. They want a leader.

FairlyNaive · 2017-11-03T08:44:50+00:00

More often than not on rp subs it would be used somewhat interchangebly with keep your calm/somposure, dont get agry/frustrated about shit tests, dont show signs of jealosy/insecurity etc.

This is however a very reductionist approach, the better way to undertand it would be to llok at the definition in this post "Frame is the meaning you bring to any situation". This make "not reacting amotionally to carteain actions" just a tool in order to not get sucked into other persons frame, a basic self-defense mechanism, that is at best not very efficient and at worst completely toothless when it comes to making people adopt your frame.

As for your second question - beeing in a frame of another person makes you lose track of your own goals, values and wants and with women it also comes with a side effect of decreasing your chances of getting laid by 300%.

Temperfuelmma · 2017-11-03T10:21:32+00:00

Frame is about having control of a situation by asserting your leadership. If you enter a woman's frame you are giving up your control and following her leadership.

Most people both men and women prefer to follow because leading is hard work, so if you easily enter a woman's frame it also shows that you lack confidence.

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Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-11-03T13:10:44+00:00

The only definition of frame that makes any sense to me is "perspective."

darla10 · 2017-11-03T16:37:39+00:00

Holding frame in the context of heterosexual relationships means remaining a grounded and reasonable individual who doesn't try to blame his/her feelings on the other person. Healthy boundaries + healthy self esteem = frame. Men and women both have frame. But....when men fall into a woman's frame, they are usually reacting out of hurt feelings, insecurity or both. Women need to respect the man they are with in order to be sexually attracted to him. When the man loses frame, he loses a little bit of respect. Women test his frame from time to time to make sure he's still the stud she thought he was. Happy couples do the frame dance in a fun way. Unhappy couples do it in a sad way.

washington_breadstix · 2017-11-04T03:24:41+00:00

The idea is that women aren't attracted to men whom they can control. To be attractive to her, you have to demonstrate in your interactions that you do not let yourself be controlled. She will try to test your savvy in this respect by throwing "shit tests" at you. Like teasing you about something and hoping that you dish it back out at her (most men don't in order to be "polite" and "nice"), or by trying to use her sexuality to get you to do her favors, i.e. leading you around by the dick (and most men give in because they're desperate for pussy).

Holding frame, simply put, means that you always make the interaction happen on your own terms. You won't be fazed by her shit tests or suckered into paying for her drinks just because she flashed a little cleavage at you.

Title	Explain keeping frame
Author	justhanging92
Upvotes	5
Comments	22
Date	November 3, 2017 6:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7ahrc9/explain_keeping_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/explain-keeping-frame.265046 https://theredarchive.com/post/265046

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