Men that are breadwinners?

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-02-04T23:02:36+00:00

I feel that it’s an unnecessary burden. Assuming she can work and contribute, she should. Shit happens; layoffs, not winning that contract, a down year in whatever industry etc... it locks one partner into a career path without flexibility or a way to make ends meet if an emergency or unforeseen event should occur. That and the emotional burden knowing you’re the sole provider keeping your family off the streets often drives men to take on unhealthy workloads and stress levels.

petrichordium · 2019-02-04T23:20:28+00:00

It completely depends what they bring to the table. I’m currently in my thirties and having a few Wooderson Years. My current girlfriend is 21 and the one before her was 19. They’re broke undergrads, and while they both had jobs that kept them afloat, i pay for all the frills and fun in the relationship (and never expected them to chip in on rent despite turning my house into a tornado of girl shit). Also my thirty something metabolism cannot handle the cheap junk they eat, so i WANT to go to whole foods or good restaurants with them. So here it makes sense.

That said, if i am dating someone close to my age, and with similar accomplishments, I’m much more selective about supporting them. It’s still an option, but if she isn’t bringing something like a young libido to the table, she needs to be bringing other things. For instance a prior partner of mine handled ALL household logistics and budgeting. Like i did chores, but the chore load was weighted for leisure time, and i never ONCE thought about what bill was due when or any other mundane details like that. I made the money, she spent the money, but she did it RESPONSIBLY. That was rad, miss that.

Other places it makes sense: she is having kids, raising them, doing housework. Or she’s just so fantastically entertaining that I’m willing to support her passion career bc it makes her a great partner. (Supporting her passion career should come along with a relatively simple set of material needs, not a consumerist junkie who is spending money all day).

I think the one thing I’ve learned is i will not support an IDLE person, because they are not going to appreciate the support. They’re going to be sullen and depressed in their idleness and take it out on hardworking me bc they have nothing better to do or are getting into shit.

Basically i will support a partner who brings something non financial to the table. I will not help someone who sees me as a way to avoid dealing with the world.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-02-04T23:09:50+00:00

in my "relationship" yes because why am i paying for some ad hoc lover? in my MARRIAGE, no

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crackrocksteady7 · 2019-02-04T23:54:13+00:00

I'm not annoyed by that, I dont mind paying rent and utilities. The way I see it I still need all that if I'm single. What annoys me is if my gf is wasting what little money she has or spending money she doesn't have

Workaholico · 2019-02-05T01:48:15+00:00

If ~~our~~ you're the breadwinner in your relationship does it bother you?

Not if by choice.

Yes, if by necessity.

Consider, I as a man would feel proud to have a woman staying at home while I work because I care for her, she is doing something I want (Like caring for children) or something in between. I would have no problems if we decided that as adults in a relationship. She is sacrificing her time and effort in the improvement of our group (family) while I spend my time and effort in the economically sustaining of it.

But if she just put me in the position of breadwinner because she is focusing into her own benefits, not what the group needs or what I want/need. Now that's the real problem. You see, I could choose to sacrifice myself for others, if they tried to do the same for me. An example would be if a hypothetical man was a sole breadwinner, because he expected her wife to take care of the children. If she did not take care of the children or did not take another task equally important after the children grew up. She would be just a bother.

I think that in your case, he is more bothered at your attitude with the money (spending in frivolous things) or another thing entirely. Your BF would not be bothered if you tried to compensate, I presume, but I don't know. I need more information.

I myself would hate a GF which earns a third of what I earn to spend most of my money in frivolous things. She should be economic, as this money could be more useful in savings and investments to our shared retirement. I have little desire for the present, I want both to working hard to our shared future. Not just her present enjoyment.

And no, even if he seems to be enjoying himself, he may be resenting it deeply in his heart. My mother forces me to spending money which should be going to my savings, yeah I like it, but I would like it more if I didn't got to spend it in the first place. I just spend it because I do not want to offend her (she has no concept of "future", "investment" or "savings" like the rest of Latin America)

Title	Men that are breadwinners?
Author	girlyslutxx
Upvotes	1
Comments	16
Date	February 4, 2019 10:32 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/an79lp/men_that_are_breadwinners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-that-are-breadwinners.257445 https://theredarchive.com/post/257445

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