I don't normally post here but there was something I would like to share. Sorry if this is long

I'm dyslexic and on mobile. So sorry about the formatting and if I ramble or am hard to understand ( I will clarify if need be and any spelling and grammar comments welcome)

Back story

I recently fell off my scooter. I was going full speed (which is only 25km) and landed on concrete. This is relevant because my other half put my "risk taking" behaviour is from both having mostly male friends till I was 15 and my step dad  having a unique work situation so he was the one the at home parent most of the time.

What he said has been on my mind since. I wonder how much being mostly raised for my father affected me and who I am today.

Things like

While I was dating I prefered to approach men rather than wait

I have a hard time opening up to people. I don't want to be seen as weak so generally keep shit to myself sometimes to the detriment of friend ships, my relationship and my own mental health - This is another reason my fiance says its obvious I grew up more male influenced

My ability to ask for my worth when it comes to my job and interviewing (not 100% on this one but have ready articles and studies that women when negotiating A salary under price themselves frequently men if anything slightly over price themselves

My reckless behaviour and as fiance puts it my lack of personal safety when I'm focused on a project or if I'm distracted - ,I saw this is my ADHD.  Fiance says it's because I hung around with mostly boy

There are more but it's 4:00 stoned and tired.

This has really made me think about how much of what we deem to be masculinity and femininity is learned behaviour and not some primate biologic urge

I don't really know what my exact point with the rant. I don't really where else to post this.

Would love to get thoughts?