How does a Christian man avoid developing oneitis for his LTR or wife?

SkimTheDross · 2018-12-07T14:57:38+00:00

Oneitis is putting your wife first. In other words, making her your mission or your idol.

Have a God-centered mission (not a me-focused mission like making more money or being successful).

rocknrollchuck · 2018-12-07T15:08:25+00:00

Dealing With Oneitis, which is on the Sidebar, also has a section for married men within the post. I think you'll find it helpful.

Deep_Strength · 2018-12-07T19:09:37+00:00

It seems to me the typical Red Pill prescription would be abundance through having sex with other women or plates, but as a Christian I fail to see how this can be achieved if one is avoiding premarital sex and staying monogamous.

It can't.

I personally have found that I gradually start to invest in her more and fall deeper in “love” (oneitis) with her and show more beta as the relationship develops.

Feelings are okay. It's when they begin to cloud your vision and snuff out other things that they're bad. God is more important than your woman/wife.

Rhetorical question that illustrates the point: What if she upped and left the next day? Would you still be able to function in the capacity for God's mission and be fine? Or would you spiral into depression and potentially commit suicide like many men?

One solution I’ve seen discussed on here is to have female friends who could possibly be interested in you as a high SMV man. I personally find it difficult to enjoy having many platonic female friends. It’s not that I can’t get female friends to like me it’s more like I have a hard time enjoying being around girls I’m not in a relationship with. Not sure if this is normal and it should just be forced.

How would that help you be a better Christian? Hint: it wouldn't.

Men should primarily surround themselves with male friends as they can help push each other toward righteousness (see: Jesus and His disciples). It's not helpful to have many friends that are women unless you are looking to date and or be in a relationship, and even those other ones will tend to fall by the wayside once that happens.

john_of_peaches · 2018-12-07T18:43:40+00:00

The way I see it:

She's the one once you marry her, but just don't worship her, like others have said. A good barometer IMO: do you spend more time total thinking about God, your self/development, and your mission than her?

Title	How does a Christian man avoid developing oneitis for his LTR or wife?
Author	TheOEDWY
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	December 7, 2018 2:34 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/a40f4i/how_does_a_christian_man_avoid_developing_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/how-does-a-christian-man-avoid-developing-oneitis.301574 https://theredarchive.com/post/301574

Comments