May update:https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8lehjo/phils_may_update/

The Ugly

  • Had a couple of really low points emotionally this month. Lowest that I can ever remember in my life. Each one lasted a couple days.
  • My lifts went down due to going on vacation.
  • Some of the habits I built regarding my oneitis are proving difficult to break (see below).

The Handsome

  • My weight went up but my body fat went down. Wanting to get more accurate measures next month.
  • Excelling at my job. People are already taking notice and pointing me in directions of opportunities I wasn’t expecting.
  • Probably the biggest one, but a little over a week now I seem to have overcome my oneitis. There are still moments of struggle, but the difference has been night and day.
    • I’ve realized I had a lot wrong, and that I had made an idol. I spent months building and worshipping this structure, and that delayed the destruction of my false god due to an excessive emotional attachment.
    • Understanding that many things may seem to be Godly or come from him end up being a ruse.
    • I also came to realize that I was focusing on something that was just “okay” or “good”, and not being willing to wait for God’s “best”.
    • There’s still times where I wonder and can see a future with this person if things change, but the key change is that if they don’t, I could care less.
    • I am also enjoying this new appreciation of singleness, one that keeps growing. The RP concepts are finally clicking.
  • I have 4-5 orbiters now. It’s a weird feeling, but I’m definitely starting to understand the value.
  • I don’t have any specifics, but I’m starting to formulate my mission. At this point I’m just trying to move forward any way possible, but eventually it will become more purposefully.

Appreciate everyone’s input and guidance. I still feel empty a lot, but no longer dead. Something has shifted.