Working on the Sidebar

OsmiumZulu · 2017-10-18T20:59:00+00:00

Glad to see the sidebar getting some love.

I would reconsider including "Intended for Pleasure" on the list. To be blunt, beyond the anatomical information for complete rookies, the book is worthless.

Here are just a couple excerpts:

"Let the man indicate by the way he approaches his wife that he is demonstrating his love for her, not claiming sex as his right. The husband must be careful not to appear hurried, crude, rude, mechanical, or impatient... Caressing each other should never be hurried. Only lust and gratification are done in haste." (pg. 82)

I can attest from first hand experience that this sort of absolute advice is just plain wrong. Women enjoy being taken in a fit of impatient and brutish passion.

"Now we all know that a husband is greatly stimulated by seeing his wife's body, but there can be too much of anything, even nudity. Going about the house nude or only scantily clad is not a good practice." (pg. 157-158)

When it is warm enough (and often when it isn't) my wife and I basically don't wear clothes around the house (no kids yet). Despite being effectively nudists, we haven't gotten tired of seeing each other yet. The idea that nudity is like pizza, where if you eat too much of it you get sick of it, is dumb. The author clearly misses the point that sexual arousal is as much, if not more, about behavior than visual appearances.

"(Female)Orgasm only happens in a relaxed atmosphere, after emotional and physical arousal have occurred and enough skilled physical stimulation has taken place." (pg. 56)

This neglects the fact that "dangerous" or "naughty" situations cause massive arousal and excitement. Just the other night my wife and I pulled over to the side of the highway on a road trip and and had steamy hot sex. I literally have never felt her more wet. I can assure you she wasn't as comfortable or relaxed as she is at home on the bed. Relaxed atmospheres have their place, but just look at how many romance novels (girl porn) have graphic scenes of dangerous or exhibitionist sex. Fear of getting caught is highly arousing to many women.

In the Q&A, the author says that there is only a subjective difference between an internal (g-spot) and clitoral orgasm. This is simply not true. For example, many women can experience squirting (female ejaculation) from g-spot stimulation, which clitoral stimulation alone does not cause. (pg 59, 240) I doubt the author is aware of that because frankly his sex life sounds boring and unenviable.

Vibrators are out of bounds. (pg 240)

The author discourages oral sex (pg. 242)

Some things the author asserts are just plain weird... "Some women have the unfounded fear that breast play causes breast cancer" (pg 243)

I could go on. The entire book is written in the female frame. It was recommended to me and my wife during our pre-marital counseling and even then I found the whole thing weak and ridiculous. It is definitely not worthy of the sidebar IMO.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-10-22T17:48:45+00:00

One old but very nice Christian themed book is called:

Me? Obey Him? The Obedient Wife and God's Way of Happiness and Blessing in the Home

There are free .pdf's of it also.

Second, you need information on passing Fitness Tests in the sidebar. I don't think there is a Christian source for this but Jesus gave us plenty of examples how he responded to Fitness Tests from the Pharisees and so on. He even showed us when it was OK to lose your cool and show some anger. I think treating a Fitness Test from a wife like it is inconsequential (IDGAF) and treating her like a little girl is the essence of passing a Fitness Test and increasing attraction.

Consider how Jesus responded to the obvious Fitness Test from Martha because it is a great example of Frame Control!

he had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.

40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Notice the expertise in this response. Absolutely incredible! First He criticises her severely at the same time He sympathizes with her with the EXACT voice inflection necessary. He repeats the woman's name showing His exasperation (aka DNGAF about her petty problems) and lightly tells her "No" your sister is not going to help you because she is listening to Me and that is far more important than your bullcrap. But He doesn't say it like that. He says it lovingly, and spares her feelings without giving in to her.

Also note how He doesn't DEER at all. If he directly told her to chill out and her problems are not important that could quickly devolve into DEER. Instead, He indirectly tells her that her problems are not important by focusing on what WAS important.

That is the essence of passing a Fitness Test with women. You have to genuinely DNGAF (about her problem or complaint- it is NOT that you DNGAF about her!) and you have to be comfortably assured that YOUR way is better so all of her poutings and ravings are just a cute little girl whining.

In effect, Jesus patted Martha on the head, told her NO! You may not have what you want but you are a good little girl. Don't worry so much. Then He went back to teaching.

DanG3 · 2017-10-20T02:08:28+00:00

Practical Female Psychology : for the Practical Man - David Clare, Franco, and Joseph W. South

The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi

rocknrollchuck · 2017-10-20T17:52:00+00:00

I thought The Way of the Superior Man offered a unique perspective on desire, where it comes from and how to control it, as well as practical insight to understanding women in general. Yeah, there's some Buddhist / Eastern Mysticism influence in there, but your disclaimer to "Exercise discretion, and be an Acts 17 Berean before taking anything at face value" should adequately cover that. I found it has helped me to be faithful.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-10-21T02:58:54+00:00

I read The Tender Warrior by Stuart K Weber some 20+ years ago. Don’t remember it enough to comment on it now.

Looking at google, he seems to have been a little prolific in the Christian masculine genre with his most recent tome circa 2015.

Worth a look.

If I have a chance I’ll read his most recent in a month and tell you what I think.

Heard of him?

Whitified · 2017-10-24T22:07:37+00:00

The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity by Leon J.Podles

http://podles.org/church-impotent.htm

Must read be for any RP Christian.

The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar

Not written from a Christian perspective, but must read too because no one explains gynocentrism/the feminine imperative quite like Esther Vilar does. "Must-read" for any Christian who wishes to wage spiritual warfare against the World.

The Book of Pook

https://bookofpook.neocities.org/

by... the Pook. Easily the 2nd most important book in my life. Mostly not written from a Christian perspective too, but jeez... what is truth? Truth is truth even if a donkey speaks it. Just read it. Just read it! And learn why the Pook is considered the most influential author of the Manosphere

RedPillCatholic · 2017-10-27T16:03:49+00:00

May I suggest "Rocking the Roles". Very good Biblical breakdown of top-down hierarchy of man as servant-leader and wife as helper-lover.

Red-Curious · 2017-11-07T04:07:03+00:00

https://www.drlaura.com/f/Books

http://www.foxnews.com/story/2003/10/01/dr-laura-tells-women-just-do-it.html

If you want to add books for the GF/wife consider Dr. Laura. I remember her from way back and she was no-nonsense then and apparently still is regarding telling women to be women and take care of their husbands and kids.

Doyle gets all the press now but Dr. Laura is more tell it like it is.

wildnight98 · 2017-12-05T03:41:27+00:00

Please add an article about frame. Thank you very much for your efforts. The sidebar has already been a great blessing to me.

Red-Curious · 2018-01-11T18:50:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Red-Curious · 2018-01-31T03:28:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Working on the Sidebar
Author	Red-Curious
Upvotes	14
Comments	32
Date	October 18, 2017 4:53 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/777wdc/working_on_the_sidebar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/working-on-the-sidebar.302136 https://theredarchive.com/post/302136

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