A Commentary on Common Toxic Behavior

PhantomDream09 · 2016-04-08T16:14:36+00:00

I'm still reading the article but it looks great so far! Love, love, love that this got some air-time:

BLAMING YOUR PARTNER FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONS

Edit: All right the main thing that I disagree with (to an extent) is the "Displays of 'Loving' Jealousy" part. Now, I agree that snooping, hacking into emails, and tailing your SO/spouse around town is pretty crazy behavior. I am someone that believes in healthy jealousy however. It's a bit hard to explain...my SO and I have never fought because one or the other of us have been jealous about some interaction or anything like that. I'm pretty oblivious to the people around me when we're out doing something (example: shopping for groceries). My focus is on getting the things we need, and talking to him. Sometimes he'll randomly just put his arm around my waist while I'm pushing the cart and pull me a bit closer to him. I'll immediately smile. Whether he does this just as a random sign of affection, or because he noticed something I missed varies. He'll occasionally pay me a compliment/tease and mention that I don't always pick up on certain things (usually this refers to the fact that he noticed another man giving me the 'once over'). Similarly I'll 'bristle' a bit when we're hanging out together somewhere and I another woman (this could be a stranger or a friend) that's paying a bit too much attention to him. I'll generally just stand a bit closer to him, not say anything and make a comment about it later when we're alone. I personally think it's nice to realize that the person you're committed to has instincts to mate guard. Again there's a difference between crazy over-the top jealousy that leads to arguments, and simply the presence of jealousy at times that leads to positive interactions.

I will also say that in our relationship, there are very concrete things we both do to make sure that the potential for getting into or allowing problematic situations to develop is greatly minimized.

BeautifulSpaceCadet · 2016-04-09T00:54:10+00:00

Wow at number 4. So wise.

I think this is the most insidious of these behaviours because it is so simple to hamster yourself into the problem legitimately being your SO's lack of reaction. It's not as concrete as the others where there are some form of checkboxes you can move through to see if you're demonstrating this behaviour. It is 100% perception-based and exceeds a beginner's level of self-awareness to identify and stop the behaviour.

This is a great list and there was merit in absolutely each point, but that one to me is the one I know I am most guilty of and will have the hardest time correcting.

Title	A Commentary on Common Toxic Behavior
Author	SouthernPetite
Upvotes	17
Comments	7
Date	April 8, 2016 4:06 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4dx2dr/a_commentary_on_common_toxic_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/a-commentary-on-common-toxic-behavior.210159 https://theredarchive.com/post/210159

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