I (18F) have never been taken on a date before, have never been kissed, have never held-hands with the opposite sex, nothing. I understand that I'm young, and it had never really bothered me per se, but as prom season approaches its been weighing on me more and more that, out of my many wonderful female friends, I am finally the last one to have never been seen romantically. Its painful.

A bit of background.

In my country middle-school/freshman year/sophomore year are called high-school and junior year/senior year are called college. In high-school, I made an amazing group of friends both male and female, and my confidence grew a lot after never fitting in when I was younger. However, many of us split up after enrolling in different colleges, and I don't keep in touch with many of my friends, or any of my male friends. This has only been made worse by my HATE for social media, (mostly because I just cannot, no matter how hard I try, snap people no matter how hard I try) which is the only way to contact my old friends and keep up with gossip, so I find out about things months later. Though I retained a couple friends, and made a couple new ones in college, they are all female and my friend group is significantly smaller. Don't get me wrong, I love them deeply, but I miss what guys bring to friendships. I am also terribly shy and prefer to be approached by others.

In September of last year, I also made the big chop to get rid of my bleach-damaged hair and am currently growing out a pixie cut (ala Alice Cullen in Twilight, 2008). I loved it, but suddenly, everyone thinks I'm a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with lesbians obviously, but as a solid hetersoexual, to be dismissed by quite literally everyone around me as being in the closet has been mildly devastating. Not to mention the fact that this look doesn't seem to be attractive either. Currently I'm working on this by using hair growth methods and taking care of my hair so as to help it recover. I also try to dress more femininely to counteract the masculinising effect of my hair, but as someone who loves herself some jeans, its proven difficult.

Finally, I wouldn't say I'm overweight, but I could look and feel better. I also have crazy sugar cravings and a pretty average/poor diet. I've approached my mother (who has had issues with food throughout her life, with anorexia in her teens/twenties and obesity in her forties, and is also not a rpw) about improving my diet to both look and feel better, to support my hair and skin and hormonal health. But she has dismissed me every time. She is really controlling in this respect and makes all my meals for me, even though I'm perfectly capable. I'll actually be leaving home for university next year to get some freedom. I understand that she wants to save me from the difficulty anorexia caused her, but I would go so far as to say that her force-feeding approach unintentionally hate the opposite effect and caused my temporary experimentation with bulimia at fifteen (disclaimer; she found out about quite quickly and I have not repeated it since). I've been increasingly insecure about myself recently with this whole romance disability I have going on and I see no solution.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure if this has become a rant or what, so back to the point.

I am a rpw and I have never felt more aligned with a way of living in my entire life. Its given me hope for my future, an escape from the dreary and soul-destroying grind that seemed to be my only option. Now I'm asking you lovely and inspiring women, what do I do. I feel so hopeless and worthless.