Advice on Submission

SadYogiSmiles · 2026-05-17T18:18:46+00:00

Something important to understand about submission is that you’re not supposed to just blindly agree to whatever your husband says. You’re a capable adult human with your own sense of what’s right for your family. If submission is what you want, your job is still to let your husband know what worries you so he can make the best choices for the family.

If you vetted him correctly, he will make choices that he genuinely believes are in the best interest of everyone as long as he has all the pertinent info. But it’s important that you feel like he’s actually heard your worries / needs and has taken them into consideration.

I think there’s info about this in the sidebar / wiki. If you didn’t vet well, and don’t trust your partner, it’s time to have an open conversation with him to figure out how to develop that trust / see a marriage counselor for help.

Luscious-Grass · 2026-05-17T18:05:54+00:00

Tell him how you feel about everything (vulnerably and without blame) instead of going against him or challenging him. Be outcome independent and trust that he will do his best to balance your needs with the bigger picture he is working towards. Apartment example “I feel scared that x,y,z. I will miss a,b,c.” Maybe he still wants to move but finds a new apartment that addresses the feelings you shared.

Your feelings are feedback for him to work into his plan. If you are critical or blamey then if he is like most men, he will get defensive and possibly start shutting you out, so be mindful of that. But don’t swallow your feelings or make yourself small to try to be a good wife because he can’t make good decisions without knowing how you feel and what matters to you. Being a good follower means communicating well up the chain.

If you are vulnerable and sincere and share feelings without blaming or bossing him around, he will probably build your feelings into this plan, even if the outcome looks different than you thought you wanted.

If you are newly married and there are few resentments, this should be a lot easier.

Be patient with him if he isn’t a great leader out of the gate or makes a mistake. Don’t shrink yourself or try to control him (two opposite common mistakes) and that will really help.

Periwinklepanda_ · 2026-05-17T19:27:04+00:00

I highly recommend reading The Empowered Wife, if you haven’t already read it.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-05-17T18:18:25+00:00

I would first reflect on how much you respect and trust his decision making. If you have legitimate concerns about his decisions then it makes sense why you would balk at following them. In that case you should discuss these issues more so you can come to a better understanding of what will work best for your family.

If you don’t have any real objections about these things, but you feel like you should have been consulted more or are anxious about them or just feeling obstinate and contrary, then you should focus on gratitude and self care.

You can also look into how men view respect so you can show your husband respect in ways that he will notice and appreciate.

AutoModerator · 2026-05-17T17:45:46+00:00

Title: Advice on Submission

Author random-username853

Full text: I'm not sure if this is the right place for this question, but I'm looking for advice on how to want to submit to my husband more. We are both Christians and believe that a husband is supposed to be the head over the house. I actually believe that women are supposed to submit to basically everything, but he doesn't believe they are supposed to submit to as much as I do. Yet despite that belief I find it difficult actually submitting to him during times of stress or if I don't agree with what he's wanting me to do. Usually its not anything serious, like parenting differences, he wants to move apartments but I don't, things like that. He doesn't try to force me to do anything and isn't some sort of tyrant. Yet I have difficulty actually wanting to go along with things that I don't agree with. I assume it's because of growing up around a lot of feminism culture that it's hardwired into my brain to not want to do these things, but I don't understand how to un-hardwire my brain 😆 Any advice would be appreciated 🙏

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SunRose42 · 2026-05-19T17:32:45+00:00

I take a deep breath and ask myself is this really important. How much would moving really stress me out? How would I feel after it’s over? How bad would it really be? Etc. If I just see no need to move (but it wouldn’t make me significantly worse off) or see it as less than ideal, then I just try to agree if moving is what he really wants. If it would legitimately make me miserable, then I’ll push against it more and advocate for myself.

I think it’s just getting comfortable with doing things you don’t love and sometimes even disagree with. If the consequences of it won’t be severe, then let him take the wrong turn if he really wants to. If being 20 minutes late would mean you miss your daughter’s part in the concert, then that’s the time to put your foot down instead of submitting.

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librae_vongehl · 2026-05-20T06:49:08+00:00

Youre over thinking it. Just be playful but not forward. Try a little curtsy bow when he comes home, dont take it seriously, youll probably laugh when you see his surprised confused expression. Have fun with that until it becomes natural, .. youll figure out the rest.

Title	Advice on Submission
Author	random-username853
Upvotes	15
Comments	13
Date	May 17, 2026 5:45 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1tfwedh/advice_on_submission/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-on-submission.1580598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580598

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