Am I providing enough?

comfy_bumble · 2024-05-31T06:49:00+00:00

I love to bake for my boyfriend! It's a super fun hobby for me to relax, and he's happy because he gets to try new cakes, pastries and breads 😁

Aside from that, do little things to make his life easier that he sees as chores, and don't take too much energy from you. Things like filling up his water bottle in the morning, having his favourite breakfast and cup of tea ready on the counter when he wakes up, watering the houseplants, switching out old bathroom towels, all that kind of stuff.

Every now and then I will get him a little present, like a new book to read or something he'd been wanting to buy himself for a while but never got around to, but as a whole, backing off from the bills etc has been a gift in itself to my boyfriend.

RedPillDad · 2024-05-31T13:42:03+00:00

Some people are givers and some are takers. Relationships can become unbalanced when a giver and a taker pair up. Parenting tends to be unbalanced like that, parents giving without much expectation of reciprocation.

Ideally, each partner develops the capacity to give generously and receive graciously. Mutual contribution to the 'team' is a wonderful thing. Maybe 'keeping score' applies early on, but as deeper trust develops, this becomes less of a concern.

OP, it sounds like you and your partner have something good happening. You're asking "what can I do for him?" instead of the typical "what can he do for me?", so that shows you're on the right track for a lasting relationship.

TheBunk_TB · 2024-05-31T21:27:40+00:00

Prep for healthy eating?

AutoModerator · 2024-05-31T04:20:33+00:00

Title: Am I providing enough?

Author lovesheavyburden

Full text: I’ve taken a big step back in my relationship around being a financial provider. I pay for as much as I can, but I can see how much it delights my very traditional boyfriend to provide for out dates out and time together.

I used to do a lot, such as bring over groceries (which I still do), but we’ve been in an eating out period as both of our jobs and lives separate are stressful. I worry a lot that I’m taking more than I’m giving right now.

I try to be as giving with my time, my help (emotionally and physically) and listening, my expressions of love, appreciation and gratitude and trying to bring happiness and surprises when I can.

Tonight, my boyfriend took care of me when my car was towed from his house, emotionally and financially. And I’ve been sharing a lot more of my emotions with him recently as well—previously I did a lot of emotional labor in our relationship.

I’ve checked in with him often to make sure he doesn’t feel burdened to take care of me, and he assures me that he doesn’t. What can I do to feel like I provide for him, equally?

Is there something special I can do to take care of him in a way that I am perhaps not already doing?

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FlimsyFun2225 · 2024-05-31T23:48:12+00:00

you seem super preoccupied with feeling “equal” - lots of times, for women, it comes later. you can bear his children, literally putting your life at risk, so his and your legacy can live on. I would say that’s more than enough to give

Someone once told me a relationship is NEVER 50/50 - usually you’re 80/20, 90/10, 50/50, or 100/100 each. Just focus on your principles, your dynamics, and don’t worry about feeling like your doing “enough” to be “fair”

Men and women are very different, more of a yin-yang rather than even-steven. do things for him because you want to show him you love him, NOT to feel “equal”

Title	Am I providing enough?
Author	lovesheavyburden
Upvotes	12
Comments	15
Date	May 31, 2024 4:20 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1d4n2ig/am_i_providing_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-providing-enough.1520107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520107

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