Depressed

Maschalismos · 2017-08-23T12:41:13+00:00

Hey, Eli02,

I am one of the many redpilled guys lurking around the subreddit, and Your post moved me enough to actually post 🙂.

First off - Men are no 'better' than women. Sure there are some broad differences, but they only apply to large populations and don't give one gender an advantage over the other.

Second - be aware that most red pill information comes from men who are struggling with anger at women: its not going to be particularly fair to women. So don't start thinking 'man, I suck'. You are a human being who wants to be better than you are. That ALONE makes you a better person than half the people on earth.

Also - when you say you feel kinda sad when you see couples and families, I (and a surprising amount of men) are right there with you. Whenever I see a couple holding hands I feel a tightness in my chest, and a lump in my throat. There are a lot of guys out there who would make fiercely loyal mates and good parents, but have been told that since they aren't 'Chads', they should shut up and leave women alone. Try to find one of them; hell, ask THEM out and watch the positive response!

Sorry if I rambled too much: I just wanted to let you know that there are other people in the same boat as you, and that being lonely doesn't mean you deserve to be, or are worthless.

PM me sometime if you ever need to talk, ok?

oasie · 2017-08-23T16:29:17+00:00

Hey Eli02. Hope your evening is going ok. Just wanted to say that the red pill is quite often wrong about how men and women relate and that I hope you can come to a perspective that does not bring you down and make you upset.

Don't worry about men's power. Women also have a great power, and one site I read insists that culture has and always will continue to follow the values of women rather than men, because a man's only hope to lock a woman down for life is to accept the values that she was raised with. Even in many current relationships, women who choose the right man to date or marry will often get their way in many issues. Men are happy to please women for the most part.

I work at a store that sells building materials and often a couple will shop there and the wife or girlfriend is so excited about the repairs that they are doing to their house...while the man doesn't care, but is happy that his money is going to satisfy her.

So women do have great power in AND out of relationships and any logic, red pill or otherwise, that tries to "break" men out of the realm of tenderly wielded female power, will fail. In fact, any movement that tries to persuade men away from loving, admiring, and maybe even learning from women, is utterly futile.

The marriages I have seen fail, including some that were very close to me, appeared to happen because the wife did not understand and know how to use her power over her husband. Instead she got frustrated, gave up, and concluded that men must have all the power.

Feel better soon and seek God when you are at your lowest.

oasie

crushedants · 2017-08-23T11:11:10+00:00

I'm sorry you feel like this but as a man I really don't see it like this. Life can suck for both man and women but when you really start looking, you'll see pluses and negatives for both sexes. I believe the free market has a way of evening out these things. Today, while I think it should be easier to be a woman, it's possibly not. I think it's very confusing to be a woman today. I think it's also becoming very confusing to be a man now too.

In the majority of cases I see, everything the man does, he does for his woman. Most relationships I see the man subservient to the woman. Red pill just gives the man back enough authority to be equals and striving to be the perfect compliments to each other. This makes the woman happier as she's with a more balanced fulfilled man. Anything else you've read or seen on these forums is not the goal.

I've always said, the only thing that'll make me cry is a woman. Women hold unbelievable power over a man as emotional and sexual second. It's just about weaving this into the fabric of masculin power for a perfect tapestry of human connection. The woman not abusing her power (for a change) is a lot about what red pill is about.

Try reading "The Manipulated Man" for another perspective. Let me know how you go .

Rivkariver · 2017-08-23T16:32:58+00:00

Look RPW is great and insightful, but it's one small view on life. It's sociological. When it comes to actual philosophy of life, overall, there is something greater. Do you believe in love, and grace? As in the idea of good things happening that we didn't earn, that we didn't do x y and z for result b. Ultimately you should still have faith in humanity. We still observe human inclinations, but we have free will and self awareness to improve. It's civilization. We don't just let our impulses run wild. TRP is very fatalistic about men and women and I wouldn't read it a lot. They forget about grace and the free will to grow.

I believe you can find someone. I'm pretty quiet with few friends and I never thought I could but it happened.

rivertorain · 2017-08-23T05:42:56+00:00

You can read my post history and see that when I first found TRP, I felt that it was all pretty hopeless too.

I'm not going to tell you what to do and I'm certainly not going to coddle you with uplifting advice - the truth is, I know that you already know what you have to do and all it comes down to is to how much responsibility you can accept for the ability to change your life and create what you want.

This is your life. Like, life is happening right now. It's not that dreamy image of the future and it's not those hazy scenes from the past. Life is playing out right in front of you, right now. What are you going to do about it?

*

“For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” - Fitzgerald

Fancy_Bits · 2017-08-23T16:42:35+00:00

Eli, big, huge e-hugs if you want them.

I've been there. I'm bipolar and PTSD from childhood sexual assault and a couple other assaults in college (mania + low self-esteem + childhood trauma = bad decision making when it comes to sexual behavior). I’ve tried to commit suicide twice, and I self-harmed, sometimes severely, for many years. It took me many, many years to work through the trauma of my childhood, and it took me trying a lot of meds to figure out the right balance for managing my bipolar. I say all of this in a sense of solidarity – while I cannot fully understand your situation, I truly understand what it is like to feel hopeless, empty, and suicidal. I deeply, painfully understand that.

The most important piece of advice I can give is this – please reach out to mental health professionals. Set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. Some insurances require a referral from your PCP, and some places also require a PCP referral – but start the process. Do not do this through your family physicican – they are NOT qualified to handle psychiatric care, no matter what they tell you. Speak with a psychiatrist, or at least a ARNP (Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner) with a specialty in psychiatry. They can help with the brain chemistry side of things. Taking meds does not have to be permanent – folks can be on them for a while and then stop. Sometimes you do have to be on them long-term, and if you do, it is no different than being on meds for diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. You need to take care of yourself.

A therapist is also invaluable. I’ve been seeing my guy for 7 years now, and he is life changing. I only see him every 2-3 weeks now, but when I need to talk things through or get some insight, he is immensely helpful. It was him who helped me do the trauma work and got my PTSD pretty darn close to resolved, and helped me as I escaped my toxic marriage. He taught me coping skills, mindfulness, and has given me the skills to succeed and be a much healthier, happier person. I had to do the work – but he taught me the tools, encouraged me, and helped me all along the way.

As far as Red Pill, please stay out of TRP. It can be very toxic if you’re not in a good head space. If you must be in any TRP besides RPW, be in Married Red Pill. They are much more gentle as their goal is to be in long-term relationships. But in general, you won’t benefit from being in TRP forums outside of RPW. Men in TRP often are in the anger phase, or are intending to stay single either for right now or long term. There can be a lot of misogyny, cruelty, objectification, and certainly nastiness towards women and if you haven’t built up that wall it can be hard to not take it all personally.

Women are powerful. For what it is worth, I am a RPW and a feminist. To me, they do not conflict in the slightest. Feminism is about choice – we can be both empowered, have control over our bodies, equal pay, representation, and access, without needing to reject traditional values if we do not wish to. I am a strong feminist who chooses to be RPW - I am very submissive and obedient to my partner. I support him, follow his lead, bring him my problems, and am First Mate to his Captain. I do not need to be brash or challenge him to gain power. I do not need to manipulate him to gain control. By being sweet, soft, submissive, following his lead and working hard to keep him happy by keeping his castle, feeding his desires, and learning how to ask for what I want – I have power. It is a soft power – one that isn’t defiant or demanding. But he likes to say yes to me. He wants me to be happy, he wants to be able to say yes, to see me smile, to see me get excited and see my eyes light up when I get permission to do something I really want to do. Even if he doesn’t really want to – he often will because he wants to see my joy.

By the same token, by being vulnerable, by not hiding when I am hurt or upset, by allowing him to see my tears, concerns, fears, and even my “I don’t know why I’m so upset and I’m sorry I’m crying I just feel crazy right now” I tap into his protectiveness, his caring for me, and is also a form of power. Now – that isn’t ever something to be manipulated or faked – but by being honest it feeds into that desire for them to protect us and see us happy.

We have a lot of power – just not in the same way men do. We are soft to their hard, tears to their raised voices, trust to their leadership. Different power – but both very powerful.

LuckyLittleStar · 2017-08-23T21:35:27+00:00

Please seek professional help. This is beyond the scope of RPW.

Title	Depressed
Author	Eli02
Upvotes	13
Comments	19
Date	August 23, 2017 5:22 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6vgvz0/depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/depressed.73329 https://theredarchive.com/post/73329

Comments