Emotionally distant partner

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-01-09T17:48:09+00:00

Don’t push him. Accept him for who he is now, don’t expect him to change. Respect how he wants to be treated and interact with you.

I think what he fears is partly true in that when a man seems to be “falling apart” and not in control of their emotions and their life, it’s very scary for their partner to see them that way and can change the way they are viewed. There is a huge spectrum here on both sides though. Some women can’t stand to see any weakness in their man and that is unreasonable. Some men seriously catastrophize any negative feelings or perceived slights and that can make them seem unstable, then they complain that they can’t show any emotion to their partner.

Is this the first relationship he’s had since his failed engagement? If so he may not be ready to seriously commit again yet.

5tealthNinjaWhattt · 2026-01-09T18:30:52+00:00

Let him come around, if he does, on his own. Just let him know if he wants to vent or talk, that you’re there as his safe space.

A year is still a fresh relationship and there is plenty of time for him to be more emotionally open. Don’t fret, you can be more emotionally close. You just want don’t want to stress or rush it, it will feel the best when it’s authentic and not forced.

sine120 · 2026-01-09T17:23:28+00:00

Guy here, so I don't have the first hand experience on what you should do, but the answer from my POV is consistency. If you want him to actually open up, you should both say and then demonstrate that any openness from him will not just not result in punishment for him, but prove that he actually has something to gain by sharing it with you.

What does this look like?

He'll likely start small to test the waters of "opening up". Common mistake I've seen is the woman doesn't even notice that he's sharing something important. From his POV it looks like she doesn't care if it's missed. The all too common non-mistake is to show disgust if he shows weakness. I don't have enough fingers to count the number of times I've seen a woman lose feelings for a man IRL who broke down in front of her. I think in almost all of those cases the woman also encouraged the man to open up. Most men learn this lesson. For him to unlearn it you will need to demonstrate again and again you're not going to cringe when things get ugly, and that there's a positive reason for him to bother burdening you with his feelings.

CountTheBees · 2026-01-09T22:22:59+00:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the main reason that you want him to not be emotionally distant is so they he proposes/commits? If he offered you marriage and was wholeheartedly "in" but tended to keep things in would you still care about this issue?

AutoModerator · 2026-01-09T16:57:51+00:00

Title: Emotionally distant partner

Author Spirited_Pea5181

Full text: Hi there! I (30F) have been with my partner (30M) for about a year. At times, he struggles to share his feelings and shuts down.

He said that as a man he needs to be the one to keep it together, and if I see him falling apart, it will kill the attraction. He said this stems from his past failed engagement. Due to this, he also has some trust issues and seems to stop himself from letting go fully in the relationship. He told me that sometimes when he is really feeling love toward me, he wants to pull away to protect himself.

He is aware of this and is going to therapy to work through his fears. At times, this dynamic makes me feel like we are not as close as we could be and there is emotional distance. I am happy that he’s working on this, and I have seen improvement, but I worry that our relationship will always have these blockages due to starting off on this foot.

Is there anything I can do to encourage him to open up and share more? I try not to pry too much because it seems like that has the opposite outcome I’d like. If anyone has any ideas or tips to improve our emotional connection, please let me know!

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hellojeanine · 2026-01-09T19:06:01+00:00

Sounds like you’re with a profoundly broken person. Any improvements he makes will be at the margins, so you better get used to the way he is rn or cut your losses and bounce. Ball is in your court.

Title	Emotionally distant partner
Author	Spirited_Pea5181
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	January 9, 2026 4:57 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1q8dnnd/emotionally_distant_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/emotionally-distant-partner.1570795 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570795

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