Having trouble with submitting

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-05-20T11:59:02+00:00

I'm glad you've met a great guy, but it's been six months. Military men are notorious for moving fast. That doesn't always have to be a bad thing... until you're uprooting your entire life for a man you've known for six months. What if you move and find out he has anger issues or violent tendencies, also something common among military man? What if you move and something less dramatic happens, like you realize you're not up for being a military spouse (one day, since he hasn't proposed), hate your new location, or it just doesn't work out? What if you give up everything only to realize this was just love-bombing?

I would seriously reconsider doing this so quickly and without a ring. Perhaps consider doing long distance for just a few months, while you find a better job offer and progress the relationship to the point that you're actually ready for marriage. It sounds like you found a good man and that's wonderful, but it's also really early and this is a huge sacrifice for a man you've only briefly been dating, fresh out of your divorce. It's not about "submission." It's about common sense. You submit to husbands. If you want to do this, at least get married, so you'll have financial and legal protection.

Edited to add: Your post history really supports that it's too soon for you to be in any relationship, let alone vet such a serious one as to involve relocating. Your divorce isn't even final. Allow yourself time to heal before starting a whole new drama.

Dionne005 · 2025-05-20T11:47:48+00:00

That’s really nice you found this. But until he puts a ring on it there is no need for that level of submission. Sorry not sorry.

Deliaallmylife · 2025-05-20T13:20:48+00:00

Your post history has you calling your ex your husband five months ago, talking about how he wouldn't leave the house when you requested divorce four months ago and that you are divorcing not divorced very recently.

So what is it, have you been divorced (separate, living apart, legally finalized) for a year or did this all happen in the last year.

Because if it happened in the last year and you just started dating this guy it is all way too much too soon. Considering moving for him this soon isn't submission it's questionable decision making.

SeaMuted9754 · 2025-05-20T14:23:32+00:00

Only a husband should be asking this of you. He should be aware of your sacrifices and not ask this of you. He should bring up long distance options and talk about traveling to each other.

My friend is on her second marriage to a military guy and the second guy didn’t pressure her like the first one to get married. The second guy drove 4 hours every month at least to see her and she drove to him every so often. He sent her gifts by mail when he got deployed and made an effort to make her a part of his day even apart. When they got married she fully trusted him.

Submissions comes from a man proving himself through his actions. You need to submit once he truly proves himself. If you are submitting to nothing then you’re submission isn’t worth anything (your just a doormat).

AutoModerator · 2025-05-20T11:11:18+00:00

Title: Having trouble with submitting

Author Purple_lotuss15

Full text: I am divorced and recently started seeing someone new. We've been together about 6 months now, and it has absolutely changed my world. He never lets me pay for things. He is incredibly loving, affectionate, and supportive. He encourages me to relax and trust him to take care of things. He has helped me financially to pay off debts and does not expect anything in return. He says "Let me take care of you. I am doing this because I WANT to." This is such a significant shift from my prior failed marriage... I have worked very hard to adopt a RPW approach to show my gratitude and allow him to lead. I stocked his fridge and freezer with home cooked meals so he wouldn't have to stress after getting back from military training. I make sure his physical needs are taken care of (rubbing his back, sexual stuff, etc). I make sure to verbally tell him what I love about him, and express my appreciation. I feel so blessed to have found someone so stable with a career and goals for a family who wants to care for me, someone who wants me to be happy, healthy, and feel safe. It has brought out my femininity and i feel myself finding softness and nurturing after years of stress and chaos. Now, for my question... he has asked me to move in with him states away. We will be looking at houses very soon. I impulsively agreed, but I'm leaving a lot behind. Friends, a very high paying job... I would be making a lot less, but he keeps reiterating that we will have dual income and he will always make sure that I am OK. Because of my prior experiences always having to provide for myself and prior partner, I am apprehensive and distrusting (working on this daily!!) I am struggling to cope with making less in a new state and accepting/trusting him to provide financially, even though he has never let me down. My tire blew out the other day and he kept me calm and handled the entire situation, paid for a new tire and took care of all of it. I cried from gratitude! Needless to say, I know I am blessed to have found him after going through so much emotional, physical, and financial abuse in the past. I need advice on accepting making less and allowing him to provide, how to create a happy home while being submissive and eventually moving towards being a stable, RPW wife (hopefully years in the future!)

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Title	Having trouble with submitting
Author	Purple_lotuss15
Upvotes	9
Comments	6
Date	May 20, 2025 11:11 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1kr27fp/having_trouble_with_submitting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/having-trouble-with-submitting.1552662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552662

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