How to help my SO

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-06-17T23:32:54+00:00

Here are my thoughts on the matter.

Yes, it can definitely hinder him socially and career-wise. I presume it is bad enough that you can see others checking out of the conversation while he's talking obliviously.
Never, but never correct him before others. This includes "pulling him aside" mid-event, unless he has done/said something so egregious that it needs immediate damage control.
In the car, on the way home is often a good time, provided neither of you are wound up from the event
Don't sound confrontational or scolding
Deliver difficult news in a poop sandwich; buffer the news with some palatable conversational "bread" before and after the difficult part, HOWEVER, don't get carried away and lose or bury the important part of the message.
The Socratic Method works here; ask, don't tell; let the subject realize that they already know and agree with what you are communicating.
To wit: Instead of, "You're socially retarded or something! You never let anyone get a word in edgewise!" (aggressive) or "Way to dominate the conversation, Captain." (passive aggressive), or "(nothing)" (passive); try being low to medium assertive. "Do you ever notice that you talk a lot more than everyone else?" "Do you think it might be worth listening a little more?"
The poop sandwich response: "I like that you're a take-charge kind of guy! Do you ever notice that you talk way more than everyone else though? I wonder if people ever think you're too domineering, that might hurt you professionally. I like it when you dominate Me, though! <snuggle>

MsSadieDunham · 2016-06-17T19:33:31+00:00

Normally you shouldn't interfere with how your SO handles day to day situations and himself. However in Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin says that if you truly feel that it could inhibit him, you should say something. I happen to agree with what she says. My advice would be to phrase it in as neutral a way as possible, don't use language or vocabulary that is accusatory. Secondly, once you tell him drop it. Don't say anything about it ever again. You said your piece, it's up to him to decide to take yor advice or determine this a non-issue.

I think the popular advice would be that you should accept your man as he is and I truly don't think you are not being accepting, it seems yor motive is pure. Just be careful of how you say it and then drop it.

Delixcroix · 2016-06-17T21:47:54+00:00

Maybe he just needs a few weekend courses in public speaking and effective communication techniques? Though I feel this isn't a very heavy issue.

Trucks_N_Chainsaws · 2016-06-23T14:29:09+00:00

This book will help. After I read it, my entire perspective changed. Buy it, read it yourself and then ask him to read it.

Title	How to help my SO
Author	DivineUser
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	June 17, 2016 5:55 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4okgyq/how_to_help_my_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-help-my-so.86231 https://theredarchive.com/post/86231

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