Look lady's I need some help

blindedbythebrights · 2017-07-19T18:18:30+00:00

It sucks, but if she has developed deep trust issues, no one can help her sort those out but herself.

Pushing her to start dating/think about attracting men will likely result in a form of self-sabotage in interactions in the next relationship. I think the best thing to do is to give her the time to heal and gather the courage to truly try again. You'll probably notice when that happens, and that will be the time where rpw comes in handy.

synthjw · 2017-07-19T19:58:30+00:00

I'm not sure whether these will be specific to her situation, since I've never personally experienced what she is going through, but here are some RPW book recommendations.

Even if many of them are written, like you say, as guides on how to ultimately be a good wife-- a lot of the topics covered are probably relevant to most women (e.g. psychological femininity).

-Making Sense of Men by Alison Armstrong

-The Empowered Wife (First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors), Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, and The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle

-Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

-The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger

-You're probably aware of this, but there is a RP Christian sub. It's not RPW, specifically, but as far as I've read, it doesn't have much of the harsh rhetoric that TRP does-- so, lower potential for coming across as off-putting.

NewMindRedPill · 2017-07-19T21:01:44+00:00

Both my parents were a bit messed up but my dad unfortunately pushed my mom into having some terrible issues so I can relate. My whole family is in the healing process so these are some things that either my mom, sister, or I have tried:

Counseling, group therapy, religion, time spent in nature, exercise (solo & group), time focusing on projects to help others (too much time on self causes more suffering.) And lots of reading. She should fill her mind constantly with other thoughts and ideas because right now her thoughts are influenced by how she was treated in her marriage. Honestly, reading is what helped the most.

My favorite book I'd recommend is "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield. If I was rich I would honestly buy thousands of copies and give them to people in need.

The Art of Mindful living, Tao of Happiness, and The Power of Habit are also good.

Organizations I'd recommend: Toastmasters and the Rotary Club.

She can't figure herself out when she is only "interacting" with herself. She needs to have different facets of who she is come alive through as many different (and healthy) thoughts, ideas, and experiences as possible.

Hope this helps!

[deleted] · 2017-07-19T21:33:53+00:00

I'm just a little older than she is. I spent part of my 40s in Monk Mode, with enjoyable results. This is what I kept in my mind.

This is a transformation. It's not a quick fix. It's a metamorphosis. It won't be easy. But it will be worth it.

Self-care. Maintain your personal appearance -- hair, makeup, nails, neat clothes, jewelry...whatever makes you feel presentable and put together. Other people will cue in on your appearance, but when you feel put-together, this shows in your confidence with others. And by doing this every day, it becomes a habit -- one that becomes more efficient with practice.

Goal-oriented exercise. Find a goal-oriented physical activity that you will either like, or learn to like. It could be running a 5K/10K/Marathon, joining a tennis or squash league, kayaking Lake Whatchacallit, training martial arts. Recreation is fun, the goals will keep you motivated, you'll develop new passions and make new friends in the process.

Career Development. Heads-down time at work can pay off big. Keep focus during the day. Improve. Stay late to try new things. Volunteer to take on projects you haven't done before. Expand your marketable skills. If your current employer doesn't appreciate you, perhaps a new one will with an expanded resume.

Friendships. Make a conscious effort to expand your circle of friends. When you do this, you break out of your comfort zone, negotiate boundaries, set expectations and in the process you gain relationships -- and skills -- that will help you through all of life's other relationships.

Constructive Hobbies. Another way to develop passion is to pursue constructive hobbies as seriously as you can. Sewing, painting, drawing, photography, music...lots of choices out there. Try something you've always wanted to do -- but haven't. A neighbor of mine has a gorgeous piece of stained glass hanging in her window. She took a class or two to learn how. The response from other neighbors has been largely "Wow, that's gorgeous. I'd love to do that someday." The people that do things like that now are far more interesting.

Improve your cooking. I love a good cook. You love a good cook. Friends love a good cook. Family members love a good cook. EVERYBODY LOVES A GOOD COOK. Food is universal. Stepping up your cooking skills can be a lot of fun, and opens up new avenues to entertain and meet people.

Give back to the community. Consider volunteering for a cause that you are passionate about. Be selective about where you spend your time -- just like regular jobs, there are good and not so good places to work. Finding the right place, and being able to make a small part of the world a better place is very rewarding and satisfying. Its also another opportunity to make some new friends.

These are the things that have worked for me, and my life. Mileage always varies, but perhaps they are a good place to start?

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-07-20T00:42:29+00:00

My favorite blog is NotesFromARedPillGirl.com She is in her early 40's, divorced, and obviously has a red pill man. She is fantastic.

Title	Look lady's I need some help
Author	Bulk_king11
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	July 19, 2017 6:13 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6oac7l/look_ladys_i_need_some_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/look-ladys-i-need-some-help.73141 https://theredarchive.com/post/73141

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