More husbands less boyfriends

TheTwincessMaker · 2022-02-18T15:10:35+00:00

My husband and I were 27 and 30 when we met. On our second date, we talked about our friends and who was married and single and who had kids. On that date, we both shared our timeline, entirely hypothetically, since we'd just met. We agreed that engagement after about a year and a half and marriage after two years, with a short engagement was a good model. Neither of us saw any point in living together before marriage. If we were single, why not enjoy it until we made a real commitment? That's exactly what we did.

I've noticed a recurring theme in the posts you're referencing. Every single one of them is about a man who has stated quite clearly what he wants, where he is in life, and how his goals don't align with those of the OP. Every single time. The OP just insists she can change him, either out of pure narcissism or pure delusion. I find most men are entirely honest. The women they're with just don't listen.

girlwithasidecar · 2022-02-18T15:37:17+00:00

Terrible advice. Men dont marry because they think things will improve. They marry because things are great and they don't want to lose them.

fauxintellectualism · 2022-02-18T15:37:53+00:00

I did live with my husband for almost a year before we got married, but when we decided to move in together, we both agreed we’d be engaged within 6 months of living together. He stuck to that. We met Feb. 2020, moved in March 2021, engaged Aug. 2021, and recently legally married last Saturday, so Feb. 2022. And we still haven’t been officially together 2 years yet. Our 2 year anniversary isn’t for another week. It shouldn’t take years and years and years of dating and living together before marriage. So many women give wifely duties to boyfriends and I promised to never do that. I did do some things to let my husband get a taste of what he would get after marriage, but I didn’t do everything. I will say when we moved in together, I definitely gave way more wifely duties, but I also just love cooking and cleaning and keeping things looking nice, lol. With that said, I trusted my husband would stick to our timeline and he clearly did. Would I recommend what I did to my younger sisters and female cousins who aren’t married yet? Probably not. I’d probably give them your advice. I’ve always told single women in my life to not confuse a boyfriend for a husband. That level of commitment is reserved for a man who marries you in the eyes of the law, and for me, in the eyes of God.

I’m blessed to have married a man who was on the same page as me when it came to getting married. Of course it’s the mutual love and respect we have for each other that guided our decision, but we were legally married in a private religious ceremony with just us, my (now our) daughter, and my uncle, who is a pastor, as our officiant. It was wonderful. We are planning our bigger ceremony to celebrate with our family and friends this October. But for many reasons, we both knew we needed to just go ahead and get married. My husband and I both felt guilt for living together before marriage, and there was a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders after we got married. We both agree that life is just better after being married, even though it hasn’t been a full week for us yet, lol. Maybe we’re just still in our newlywed lovey dovey phase, but things just felt different, more real, and more joyful and peaceful after we said “I do.”

So with all of that said, I agree with a lot of your points. We really should be encouraging marriage instead of being a long term live-in girlfriend who is taking care of a man who can’t fully commit to them.

86_emeralds · 2022-02-18T15:04:47+00:00

I dated a guy for about two years who turned out to be garbage; physically abusive and secretive and controlling. Didn’t start those behaviors until after we moved in together at about 1.5 years. I feel for women who get sucked into a marriage and don’t discover these things until it’s too complicated to leave.

Jesusismyabba14 · 2022-02-18T15:23:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	More husbands less boyfriends
Author	Jesusismyabba14
Upvotes	0
Comments	27
Date	February 18, 2022 2:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/svjwtc/more_husbands_less_boyfriends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/more-husbands-less-boyfriends.1102631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102631

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