Need advice

HappyLollie · 2016-10-12T08:57:17+00:00

I would suggest maybe getting some hobbies or just learning to enjoy your own company more, my SO needs some alone time now and again but like you I don't need so much alone time and I at first took it as a rejection of me which it wasn't it's just that he is a introvert so that's their nature but use that time to work on your hobbies or just get on with things you need to do, it's good to be comfortable with your own company you can't rely on other people for your happiness all the time.

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-10-12T15:45:13+00:00

He is an introvert so he likes alone time and I know I need to understand that is why he doesn't want to hang out sometimes too. I guess it is just hard for my to understand because I don't really like alone time but he does. I also think I need to find more friends because I basically have none

It's good that you have insight into the problem here, and are not just reactively blundering in the direction of demanding more of his time either covertly or overtly, for that is an attraction killer especially to Sigma and Alpha type men. I'm assuming the quantity and quality of time you DO spend together is good.

Definitely work on cultivating other (friend) relationships, and some manner of hobby and/or mission in life. Do it for yourself first, the benefit is life is more interesting. As secondary consequences of this, your behavior around him will become subtly less needy and more interesting especially for the long haul, and the quality of the time you spend with your SO will go up from both of your perspectives.

OkrasRazor · 2016-10-13T01:36:41+00:00

I have low self esteem and low confidence. I've been trying to figure out ways to boost them and I was hoping you ladies could help me more.

Am not a lady, but this was posted on TRP:

To summarize; there are four things:

1. Objective sources of confidence (e.g. I won a gold medal at the Olympics): this is evidence. 2. Acceptance of those objective sources of confidence (e.g. I am an exceptional athlete and should be damn proud): this is confidence. 3. Inherent value you feel as a human (e.g. I would be just as valuable without any medal): this is self-esteem. 4. The attitude of confidence you consciously fake and project (e.g. I haven't ever pole vaulted before, but I'm sure I can do it): this is either courage and hopefully not perpetual bullshit.

MajorLeagueMagick · 2016-10-13T12:43:28+00:00

He is an introvert so he likes alone time and I know I need to understand that is why he doesn't want to hang out sometimes too.

Imagine an alien who is more interested in objects than people, and if this alien spends too much time around people they begin to feel sick. This is an introverted male. Sometimes, they also practice the arcane arts, but never while chewing bubble gum.

mabeol · 2016-10-13T15:39:12+00:00

You just described my SO to a T! He is SUCH an introvert and loves his alone time!

There's a lot of great advice on here already so I'm going to just be a broken record. Introverts just need their quiet time. It has nothing to do with you. He would need quiet time in or out of a relationship. When you miss him, just remember: by letting him have his alone time, you're letting him be himself. And what a gift that is! My family is 60% introverts, as is my dude, and I often hear that introverts don't feel as though their need for alone time is really "honored" by the non-innies around them. So just by focusing on that, you're way ahead of the curve.

A few ideas for meeting people:

Pick up an athletic pursuit! Running, yoga, pilates, Zumba, something that has a community aspect. I'm a runner, and a vast majority of my friends are my fellow runners. Bonus: most of the time, you're doing healthy things together, instead of just going to bars.
Someone mentioned craft classes in another thread. Museums, Joann's, Michael's, yarn shops, they'll all have classes and whatnot. Great way to keep busy and meet people! Cooking classes would likely have the same appeal.
Faith communities are great as well, if that's your cup of tea.

Best of luck to you, my friend!

fJ9yIQBU · 2016-10-17T18:50:45+00:00

You can make your self more attractive by being more scarce. Next time he calls tell him you are busy. The reason he doesn't want to hang out is because it is not worth his time to get together. Basically the relationship is out of balance. You can either balance it or lose him. It sounds like you need to work on yourself. It is up to you. btw I am a male but I had a shitty time with relationships in my 20's and am qualified to answer your questions, I was clingy and I was pathetic. But I also suffered thru major trauma and was attempting to fill a hole in my own heart with someone else. The opposite can sense that and they will stay away. Good fortunes to you.

BigRed517 · 2016-11-23T22:18:07+00:00

I am in the same position you are. My fiance is a very dominant guy who loves to lead the relationship but i am so insecure with my looks and my body that i always get paranoid and fear him cheating when he has proved many times he is not. I have found that not thinking about people he was with before me who are more attractive works as well as trying to find a hobby whether it be reading a book, watching a tv show or even coloring or doing a word search tend to help me because it takes my mind off of my insecurity. If he needs alone time let him have it and find something productive to do with yours and eventually those thoughts will go away.

Sapphire_Jizz · 2016-10-12T07:11:45+00:00

Hi!

Have you read the side-bar? On the right --->

If not, check it out

Title	Need advice
Author	Bigbooty1996
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	October 12, 2016 5:47 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/572nh6/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/need-advice.86555 https://theredarchive.com/post/86555

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