Hello, everyone! I have been lurking this forum for the last few weeks. I definitely NEED to improve myself more, but it has been a very hard and long journey for me. I'm a 21 y/o female. I am the best cook and baker he has ever known, he thinks of me as a 10 physically (working on the mental part consistently).I am heavily involved with weightlifting and eating appropriately for my athletic needs. His dog is now MY dog without a doubt. That is my child. We have been together for four years and lived together 3, 3 1/2 years. So, I moved in QUICK. I knew from the moment I saw him across the room that I had to do everything in my power to be with him and I can proudly say my dedication and persistence of showing him these things paid off.

My issue's are my family, my friends, cleaning, being lonely/sad, and my future career. I currently have a Cosmetology license, but have decided while I do really enjoy it being around all of those women who are weak, mentally and physically, almost sets me up for a trap to behave like a blue pill women because how I was raised and all of those views that were drilled into my head seem to pop up. This wasn't making me happy or filling me with passion like it once did either. Then I met olympic weightlifting. This sport is growing at a rapid pace and realistically NOT everyone is naturally good. I however...was. It wasn't just that being naturally good with the movements intrigued me, but I was filled with the most passion and happiness outside of my relationship that I've ever had a pleasure of feeling. My boyfriend totally supported this at first, and he still does because he knows he doesn't have to go grocery shopping to pick up 40lb bags of salt for our water softener anymore :P, BUT the community within "Crossfit" style training is very close and loving. I deal with more of the OLY stuff, but I do Crossfit for my cardio. The problem is, either way, the community. It's female and MALE. I want him to be able to come and support me with knowing these fit men beside me aren't anything else to me besides a team of people working towards the same goal. Females I'm not worried obviously. You can't get better at these lifts without an experienced individual watching and helping you, but it's a male dominated field at this point so it's pretty hard on me and my relationship at times. It's growing rapidly with female's, as well as anything involving fitness. I like to keep myself very in shape for him, but also for myself. I don't believe that's selfish? This way of life also doesn't bring up my old blue pill habits because the women I've surrounded myself with are strong mentally, physically, and emotionally. They will support you NO matter what. I don't hang out with them outside of training, but this was a big ticking time bomb within my other profession. But, if my RP man is saying little things here and there like the other day I told him about my Bench Press session and how I had no spotter he replied "Oh, your crossfit boyfriend wasn't there to help you out?" YES, this was definitely in his sacrastic joking tone, but I'm a female and this isn't the first or last time he has said things like this or said things about my muscles.

My family doesn't get it, or agree. At all. He doesn't agree with my family or get them. At all. I love both sides, obviously, but I have definitely neglected my relationship with my entire family in favor for him. My Mother is the breadwinner and basically does as she pleases. I was raised in this household. When I was 18 my Mom literally didn't see an issue with her daughter being a waitress at a Strip Club. That should explain everything to you RPW's about that household's way of thinking things through... While I do still love my parents and wish to have them in my life and would LOVE for it not to be so bad that my SO literally doesn't come to Easter brunch or anything, I don't know how. Both sides have exchanged pretty nasty words and my Mom has fueled a fire for my entire family, sadly. It puts me in a funky situation. I don't see them much at all.

Cleaning... I just hate it. I can do it and I know I'm not incapable, but how do some of you ladies get through your days cleaning and making it not horrific? I love and respect he's had a hard day, but he is the mess maker. It is hard sometimes to clean the same thing I just cleaned less then 24 hours ago. Any advice or technique tips I would really appreciate!

Lonely/Sad: With his work schedule and all of his other side ventures it's almost impossible to spend more then an hour a day with him. He gets home late and then I go to the gym and don't return until around midnight. We eat dinner, even though it is made and ready for him by the time he gets home, but he chooses to wait for me WHICH shows me he cares and everything, but having no friends or family to go out and have lunch or dinner with or to just grab a beer with is really quite sad to me. I can't get along with his friends because to me they are seriously annoying and weird. They don't have real relationships either so I can't bond with their girlfriends to make the situations easier on us. I don't hang out with the girls I train with because despite our gym being in the middle, we live about an hour drive from one another. We all have our own things going on. Some days, and I think this does have to do with me being 21 as well possibly?, I wish he would just go to a place with me and we could drink and eat. Just hang out there for a few hours, but that's never really the case. Once we eat, we leave. Or he just doesn't really want to go anywhere because he has been working and dealing with the public. I get extremely bored/lonely sitting in this house all day which is why I would like to be able to go out somewhere and just relax/graze upon foods and drinks with him. I only can workout 1-2 hours a day realistically and I have to take one to two rest days so I'm really not gone for very long. I'm always here, waiting. I don't know how to paint a better picture for myself so I don't start to become bitter towards my home, and eventually him, because the ONLY time I am able to leave is really to work out, grocery store, and if I have petty errands such as going to the professional beauty supply store.