~ archived since 2018 ~

Newly Red Pilled

Sydster0352

January 5, 2019

29 upvotes

I'm a newly red pilled woman. I was first introduced to TRP by a friend and it both scared me and scarred me because I was a feminist and somewhat lesbian (predominantly attracted to women and pursued relationships with them only. I've only ever had fleeting crushes on men). I ended up meeting a wonderful guy who accepts me for who I am and tries to make me comfortable. I realized that he has been protecting me all along and I'm so grateful for him. He follows TRP ideology somewhat and I feel like deep down I haven't accepted it 100% so I keep putting up a resistance. Luckily, I catch myself every time I slip up but I want to have less of those. I had a major slip up recently and he's become somewhat distant. I feel awful and I'd like to fix that resistant side of myself. Any advice on accepting TRP given my circumstances?

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Post Information

Title	Newly Red Pilled
Author	Sydster0352
Upvotes	29
Comments	14
Date	January 5, 2019 1:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/acu3ks/newly_red_pilled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/newly-red-pilled.68061 https://theredarchive.com/post/68061

Comments

[–]reddishrobin13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sydster0352[S] 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]__Some_person__16 points17 points18 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ntvirtue34 points35 points36 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lookitsmeyay 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

1) I identify with being domineering. Whenever I feel like controlling the situation in a way that would undermine my partner, I just STFU. I'd offer my opinion and then let him do whatever. Now this is NOT a way to handle something like boundaries. Been there, done that, ends up being fucked up because we see red flags our partners might be blind to. If you are uncomfortable, SPEAK the fuck up. Any man that respects you won't want you to feel bad about yourself while being with them. STFU (after voicing an opinion) when he wants to tell you about something or you're planning a date or any other matter that's NOT your feelings. SPEAK the fuck up when you are uncomfortable and hold your ground. And when you speak, use "I" statements instead of being accusatory.

2) Sex is very personal. Don't have it before you're ready if you're not comfortable. If he truly admires you he'll listen. Let him know you don't want sex until you're comfortable. Establish those boundaries. I think other comments are chastising you for being uncomfortable in the first place and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a new experience. You need time to feel safe. You may even need a relationship beforehand. That's OK! Don't question your wants or needs. No man is worth feeling bad about yourself and your needs.

[–]Sydster0352[S] 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]roundandroundwego1230 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hannelore0101 Star3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

You can change your domineering personality toward him (perhaps channel the type A tendencies toward work, projects in your house, hobbies). While personalities might not change drastically, I do think you can control your behavior in order to accomplish things and goals (in this case, attract this man). Fake it until you make it is better advice than be true to yourself IN SOME circumstance. I would eat Culver’s every day if I were truly being true to myself. I’m not advocating bait and switch. Sometimes the advice around here is become the person you want to attract. You’re realizing the sort of person you would like to marry (I presume), even if it’s not this particular man. He’s inspiring you to become someone better than you are now, which is a good thing, even if you don’t end up with him!

Are you a virgin (specifically, PiV penetration)? Hesitation and a little fear over the first time is completely normal. Do you have a physical reaction to him? Do find yourself aroused by him? While talking about sex usually isn’t a great idea, I think in this case—especially if you’re making out—I think explaining your hesitation (surprised at finding yourself in a hetero relationship) is reasonable

Edit: I notice you say he seems to like you the way you are, except for these few things. So no pressure to completely change your personality, just some habits perhaps how you interact with people (especially men) in general?

[–]Sydster0352[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hannelore0101 Star2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MissNietzsche1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]reddishrobin-1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]__Some_person__8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link