Paying on dates

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-04-24T17:05:31+00:00

In most situations, I'd tell you to accept graciously and stop offering to pay, while simultaneously suggesting cheap and free dates. I'd recommend baking him treats or getting him small gifts to show your appreciation. I'm only going to veer from that, because you said you're both unemployed college students. A man pays because he's prepared to provide for a family. This guy absolutely has the right mindset, but he's also not ready to provide for you yet.

In this case, I'd recommend you continue to offer on occasion, every other date perhaps, but don't push if he protests. You could also make plans for a special date and pay in advance. For example, buy tickets to a movie he wanted to see and present it as your treat. Grab his favorite candy in advance. I still recommend baking, small gifts, and cheap or free dates.

PsychoticNurse · 2023-04-24T15:48:04+00:00

Young women (and men) have been poisoned by this feminism/equality stuff that tells women we need to be like men and pay for dates too. It tells men that it's ok to ask a woman to pay for her half of the date. IMO, men who always pay are showing they are providers, which is how men should be.

When my husband and I were still dating, after our 3rd date, I did offer to pay. He declined it so I left it alone. I would offer to pay every now and then, but he always refused it. So my advice to you is to continue to offer, maybe every other date, but if he insists on paying, let him. Also, if you've already had him at your home/been to his home, suggest low cost activities. You can make dinner together then watch a movie at home. Or make some food and have a picnic in the park/beach. Get together with some of your friends and some of his friends, everyone brings their favorite dish/drink/snack, and have a game night. I've done all of those and not only is it inexpensive, it's way better than always going out.

Sudden8308 · 2023-04-24T20:45:04+00:00

Let him pay. He feels like he's taking care of you. Real men are driven to be providers. It makes them feel masculine to pay.

When you tell him that you want to pay, he likely takes it as an insult to his masculinity, like you're implying he can't handle it.

Men that want the woman to pay are little boys in men's bodies. Let him take care of you this way but make sure you're taking care of him in other ways.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-24T15:28:23+00:00

Title: Paying on dates

Full text: Hello everybody! I'm back with a briefer question this time.

How should I handle paying on dates? The guy I'm dating pays for absolutely everything; he gets the bill when we go out to eat, he bought the ingredients when we baked cookies and then gave me all the leftover groceries, he gets me snacks, etc.

I absolutely love it, but I was raised with a more "equal paying" mindset, and I worry about making him feel like I just want him to buy me things. Family and friends encourage me to pay for stuff as well. I insisted on me paying for the ice cream we got on our date yesterday (he got our dinner), but now I'm second-guessing that, because I was searching this topic on RPW and found posts about how guys can see that as competing or whatnot.

For context, we are both college students without jobs, although he had a well-paying internship the summer prior, and we've been dating for a bit over a month now.

Should I insist on paying? Should I not? He told me that he wants to spoil me, but I worry about making him feel used!

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rescadora · 2023-04-25T12:45:06+00:00

I think you should let him pay. It’s obviously something he’s comfortable with and seems to want to do. I know it can even be insulting to some men if they don’t cover everything. However if it’s really bothering you, I’d simply ask him if he’s okay with paying for everything or if he’d appreciate you chipping in.

Majestic-Newspaper59 · 2023-04-29T22:15:08+00:00

You can let him pay for some of the dates your on. You can make it up to him by making him lunch for class cause your both in college.

Title	Paying on dates
Author	Valuable_Place1265
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	April 24, 2023 3:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12xl92q/paying_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/paying-on-dates.1216688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216688

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