Should I leave him?

ChamomileMist · 2023-07-19T18:35:22+00:00

I'm locking this post because I'm pretty sure OP just posted about this a week ago and the advice received there should be sufficient enough to answer this question.

OP, don't waste anyone's time, including your own.

ladida1321 · 2023-07-19T17:54:59+00:00

Well, it doesn’t really sound like he has any interest in dating you at all.

5 months is a long time to be sleeping with someone who sees you as a casual hookup while you’re wanting to make the relationship serious.

You should work on improving your self esteem and making friends. Someone who says they might make you their gf if you pass some arbitrary test is not actually a “really great guy”. He’s using you.

25, in my opinion, is truly the beginning of adulthood. He may have a point about you needing friends, direction and independence- it cannot hurt to explore those things, but don’t do that for him, do it for yourself.

ivysaurah · 2023-07-19T17:56:33+00:00

Are these changes YOU want for yourself? Do you want a career? Do you want a more expansive social life?

If the answers to these questions are yes, truthfully, then congrats on finding a partner willing to challenge you to become better in ways that you also desire, and it might be worth a shot to make these improvements because even if he’s an asshole, you’ll be happier for it. If the answer is no, you are content the way you are, then move on and find a man who values who you are because of these traits and others. I personally do not have career ambitions and never have, therefore I play a supportive role in my husband’s business and in keeping the home. I also am rather introverted so aside from a few friends, regular social outings are draining for me and I prefer to just entertain in the home. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

Personally, a man who says “I MIGHT make you my GF despite me using your body regularly if you do X Y + Z to become a better person” is a red flag to me, but it’s also a situation that is partially your fault. Don’t sleep with men who haven’t committed to you.

Tldr: Don’t change yourself for someone you’ve known for 5 months unless these are things you already dislike about yourself and wish to change. I would also be wary of men who offer ultimatums for love and commitment like this as it may be indicative of a pattern that will become draining later on. I would also be wary of sleeping with men who have not committed to you whatsoever.

basedviet · 2023-07-19T17:54:41+00:00

I don't recommend having sex with people you're not in a committed relationship with with the hopes that they will like you enough to commit to you after a few months. That makes no sense to me. I would recommend leaving him and finding someone with the same faith (and I presume values too) as you and don't give away the milk for free without commitment.

AutoModerator · 2023-07-19T17:40:02+00:00

Title: Should I leave him?

Full text: I (25f) have been sleeping with this guy for 5 months. He says he might make me his girlfriend if I get a social life, get a general life direction, and get more independence from my family.

On the one hand, I know I need to get married by 30 so I need to either make it work with this guy or move on.

The question is is it worth sticking around to try and get him to like me, or should I go into nun mode and move on?

We also have different religions so idk how compatible we are. But he's still a really great guy and I don't want to lose him.

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Title	Should I leave him?
Author	Weak_Remove7884
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	July 19, 2023 5:40 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1541mod/should_i_leave_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-i-leave-him.1225778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225778

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