We’re my expectations reasonable?

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2024-09-28T15:42:45+00:00

Since he’s coming to your city it would make sense for you to plan some activities, or have things in mind that you can do together. It sounds like he’s not staying with you, so you will need to coordinate getting together each day. Whether he picks you up or you meet him has more to do with where you are and how difficult transportation is. Like in my city I wouldn’t expect someone to come get me all the time.

I think this will be a good test of how good your communication together is. If he’s not getting in touch with you and you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to find out the plan, that is not a good sign.

And yeah, most guys don’t like to be told what to do by the girl they’re dating, that’s not abnormal lol

Astroviridae · 2024-09-28T16:57:50+00:00

I’ve also noticed he can get a bit rebellious and doesn’t respond well if I tell him to do something directly. He likes to feel things are his idea. Is that a masculine trait to have, or an issue?

It depends, can you give an example? It could simply be that he's the leader and feels giving orders isn't the role of his first mate. Or he's petty and doesn't listen to what you say simply out of spite. Like if you're giving him directions and he turns the opposite way because he doesn't want to listen to you, then that could be a sign of immaturity. This type of person usually doesn't like to be told what to do in general, not just from his girlfriend. You should be able to discern this from his interactions with others.

It's a tricky line to straddle with male led relationships. On one hand, men generally don't like being told what to do. However, a good leader will take the counsel and hear (not necessarily follow) what you have to say.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-09-29T00:29:20+00:00

So this is an “away game” for him. A few years ago, I went on what turned out to be a date in Sydney, Australia, while I was visiting. The young lady in question provided local info and effectively acted as my “administrative assistant.” In Australia, you pretty much have to make a reservation or “booking“ as it’s called locally, for dinner, etc. I gave her an idea of what I liked, and she sent me a note with five or six options at various price points and then I approved one and provided an alternate in case the first one was booked.

Ordinarily, these are all things I would handle and I would simply tell my date what time to be ready and what the dress code is. But in a situation like this where one person has a tremendous advantage in local knowledge, it makes sense to make use of it.

She was very competent, which made things easy, but had everything been on me, I would’ve just treated it like we were in a 3rd city and planned everything out - I’m not very rigid, so there would’ve been a general plan with room for some improvisation.

So in your situation, you may want to proceed on the basis outline above or at least offer some suggestions - Or better yet, offer to offer some suggestions and see what he says.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-09-30T08:14:43+00:00

I read your examples and it's really reasonable not to accept unsolicited advice on one's health from a new LDR girlfriend, to be honest - regardless of her qualifications, but especially if her only qualification is having relatives in the health industry. While I'm sure you mean well, it's a bit early for that. Besides, you'll find most men are pretty resistant to this kind of meddling. I'm a nurse and it took me two years to get my husband to see a dentist... I'll let you know when I get him to wear sunscreen :)

Some questions and scenarios would be more useful in evaluating this trait:

Does he ask for your input on decisions that affect both of you?

Does he value your opinion?

Does he ask for advice on topics where your input would be appropriate?

How does he react when he's wrong?

Tkuhug · 2024-09-28T21:21:42+00:00

It’s definitely a masculine trait, if not a HIM trait.

If he likes doing that, I’d sit back and let him do all the work.

If you really like him, cater it to his favor, and heck it’s less work on your part too.

Don’t feel bad!

AutoModerator · 2024-09-28T15:02:54+00:00

Title: We’re my expectations reasonable?

Author biohacking-babe

Full text: Hi all, need some relationship advice. Currently dating long distance and he’s flow out to meet me especially for a few days. Should I be expecting him to do all the usual stuff like picking me up for dates, planning, gifts etc, or should I make more gestures on my side since he’s travelled far?

I’ve also noticed he can get a bit rebellious and doesn’t respond well if I tell him to do something directly. He likes to feel things are his idea. Is that a masculine trait to have, or an issue? And best way to communicate in my favour?

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Title	We’re my expectations reasonable?
Author	biohacking-babe
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	September 28, 2024 3:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1frg8dj/were_my_expectations_reasonable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/were-my-expectations-reasonable.1531511 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531511

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