What do you do when your SO does something you don’t like?

saddensgirl · 2022-04-04T16:26:39+00:00

Depends on the disagreement. If it's something small and trivial, I take a deep breath and keep my mouth shut. Keeping the peace is more important than winning every argument. If it's something big, then I politely offer to give my opinion. My husband is pretty good about always listening to my point of view, but it's understood between us that he gets the final say as the head of our household.

beautyandbravo · 2022-04-05T01:08:01+00:00

I essentially have to ask myself if I’m just having an emotional reaction or if it’s actually important enough to me to “disturb the peace” (so to speak) over it. I can be very reactive but it subsides very quickly 95% of the time so I usually try to compromise with myself that if it’s still bothering me a day or 2 later, I’ll bring it up.

When I do it’s by being vulnerable with my feelings about it as opposed to accusatory/focused on the disagreement. Or simply stating what he could do to make me happy and trusting him to make it happen circa Laura Doyle e.g. “I would love/it would make me so happy if we could have that window fixed by the time our friends come over on Saturday”. Then the ball is in his court and be prepared to accept that either way, but over time I’ve noticed the less he feels like he’s gonna get shit from me for NOT doing it (but positive feedback if he does), the more he does it on his own. And then affirm him when he does but don’t make a big deal if he doesn’t. It’s a lot of practicing acceptance and it takes time in my experience but I’m not a perfect person showing up to the relationship so I can’t expect him to be either.

For me it’s about always taking a beat to remind myself and accept that I can’t control or change another person and all I can do is moderate my own behavior to influence the best outcome possible which never includes a blowout fight in my world. But essentially it’s making a choice for yourself that at the end of the day the relationship being in a good place will be more important to you than getting your own way on specific issues and willingness to be patient and sacrifice some degree of selfishness and independence for the health of the relationship. But that’s what marriage is.

boofthegirl · 2022-04-05T01:00:35+00:00

We usually have a big row and then get over it and talk about how to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Title	What do you do when your SO does something you don’t like?
Author	DelicateFlower14
Upvotes	7
Comments	4
Date	April 4, 2022 1:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/tw2gsz/what_do_you_do_when_your_so_does_something_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-do-you-do-when-your-so-does-something-you.1108648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108648

Comments