Where do I start?

SunshineSundress · 2021-10-08T03:38:49+00:00

1) Stop with this woe-is-me attitude. It’s not attractive to men, offputting to other women, and will not help you move forward. It’s one thing to realize and understand your weaknesses, but it’s another to wallow in self-pity and shame. There are women who are uglier, fatter, sluttier, older and worse off in every single way than you, that have still managed to find husbands and partners. They got what they wanted because they had the mental fortitude and bravery to keep on trying, no matter the odds or how much work they had to do. Will you? Or will you let yourself become crippled by your own shame and lack of willpower?

2) So quit it with this self-flagellation. You are overweight, not a hippo. You wear too many sweatpants, but you can always get new clothes. You were unable to inspire the man you lived with to marry you, so let’s not think that there are ANY men out there who are just magically ready to marry you without any work on your part. You are a single woman in your damn early twenties, aka the peak of your sexual market value, not some grocery item left on a shelf. Do you see how this shift in reasoning changes things? It gives YOU the agency, ability, and accountability to change your weaknesses. That brings us to:

3) Apply yourself and ACTUALLY put in the work to fix them. You know you are overweight. There is SO much information and resources out there on how to lose weight in a healthy, sustainable way. I am not going to hold your hand on this - I KNOW you are capable of figuring it out yourself just as so many others have done. Same goes for clothing. Find clothes that work for your current body type. Clothes that make you feel AND look elegant and feminine. You do not need to change your entire wardrobe all at once - you just need to make incremental changes as often as you can, and eventually you will see a difference. As for being unable to inspire a man’s commitment, you’re in luck. RPW is Girl Game University. We have an entire wiki dedicated to all the ways you can become more attractive, more feminine, more lovable, and more commitment-worthy. Take the time to go through what we’ve written and learn it.

4) While you’re doing all of this, keep your head down and focus on your goals. Just by the way you wrote this, I can tell you are not in the right mental headspace to be dating. Take time to change your bad habits, whether they are physical and practical ones, or emotional and mental ones. We call this nun mode here - it means taking a break and letting yourself heal and grow so you can come out of it the best version of yourself. Again, you can look it up here and in the wiki for more information.

uniq0rn_qlitter · 2021-10-08T01:25:59+00:00

First: don’t be so hard on yourself! How could you ever expect a man to love you if you you don’t love yourself? That doesn’t start with the physical, it’s first and always a mental game. You’re so young- literally 23 is a baby and your experience has taught you what you don’t want in a partner and in your life and you’re so lucky because you now have the opportunity to fix it. A size 12 isn’t a hippo. You’ve gained a little weight so take your health back and make better choices. You ended up in a dead-end relationship, so end it and move forward with your life. Most men will understand that you were in a serious relationship in college and it just didn’t work out or you realized he wasn’t for you. You might want to work through some of your issues in therapy to realize why you have settled and have low self-esteem. As you get older, at least in my case, I learned that loving myself was very important if I ever wanted a man to love and respect me. You’re growing up, and it’s the perfect time to grow into the woman you were always meant to be. Be positive about the future and make your dreams happen. The right guy is out there for you. He will come. Work on the things you’re unhappy with, be kinder to yourself, and be hopeful for the future. You have a lot more going for yourself than you realize.

Jenneapolis · 2021-10-08T01:18:41+00:00

Hi there - I’m 38, still dating after being out of a 10 year relationship, and a size 10 but was 12 only a couple of months ago and am losing daily. I don’t feel like I am past my prime or hopeless - men are attracted to me and what I have to offer. Life is long and a journey. Not everything will always work out the way you hope, and even if life goes according to your plan, that doesn’t always equal happiness. If you feel like your life is over at 23, you are going to have a long way to go. I would start by looking internally and figuring out what you can be grateful for every day and looking toward the positives you have. Invest in yourself. Find some physical activities that you enjoy, start cooking healthy foods and enjoy the process rather than beating yourself up about it. But honestly, it really all starts with attitude and the life changes will happen from there. It’s a daily decision, there’s no magic bullet but deciding that your life is over at 23 is not the way. Good luck to you :)

windcleaber · 2021-10-08T04:25:37+00:00

I'm a married guy and my wife had a some past. Became super feminist, high body count, weed and sweat pants.

But when we met, she was well on her way to changing that. I had issues dealing with her sexual history at first, but that person in so far remoged from the beautiful woman I know now that it might as well be a different woman.

The ways she sought to improve herself was attractive, and I respected her a lot for that. That's the important part.

dadudenines · 2021-10-08T06:44:35+00:00

Age 23, still plenty of time. But it may take 6 months of physical work, reading, nun mode and accepting the red pill to be ready for today's brutal dating world where men see marriage as beta loser finishes last. You can still snag a guy with some optimism if you are prepared. After 30, then hard mode begins. 35+ is extreme mode.

Physical Upgrades: Intermittent Fasting, weight training with PPL, aim for sub 25 BMI. Take before pics in 4 positions and record initial weight and post on the bathroom mirror. Get any dental work started and work on growing hair out and an easy but attractive makeup, wardrobe routine.

Mental Upgrades: Don't read TRP. The emotional priorities of men and their painful unplugging are far too alien to a woman and are just plain too scary at this point. Read The Rational Male website or books, RooshV's "Lady", RedPillWomen, Kevin Samuels, Rebecca Barrette, NotesFromARedPillGirl and other anti-feminists. I'd also suggest reading up on Cluster B psychology (Shrink4Men, BPDLovedOnes) to understand narcissism and how to avoid such situations that seem tasty at first.

Emotional Upgrades: Get disciplined. Start doing what is necessary, what you are supposed to do. Keep your place clean, learn to cook good meals from scratch, replace that cracked cell phone and live well within your means. Read Jordan Peterson's "Twelve Rules" to get some tools to handle the chaos that inevitably comes. Understand your primal hypergamous drive, innate solipsism, hamster rationalization and attraction triggers to gain control over these destructive tendencies. Read Lori Gottlieb's "Marry Him" to understand how these drives will make you single forever if you don't get disciplined and form boundaries. Elizabeth Wurtzel is also another unaware hamster, great example of how even with great looks, lack of discipline will be your downfall: https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/advice/a10010/failure-to-launch-when-beauty-fades-323090/

aigars2 · 2021-10-08T13:02:15+00:00

"I didn't get a ring before spring semester"

Seriously? It's not a competition! You should never "get a ring" just because. It's not something you get like in a computer game when you reach next level. You'll be headed for a divorce in no time. This is the fastest way to become single mom, alone, with a baggage of red flags.

Title	Where do I start?
Author	OttersGoHome
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	October 8, 2021 12:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q3mrov/where_do_i_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/where-do-i-start.1076797 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076797

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