3 lessons from ballroom dancing

Lady_Motido · 2014-02-06T16:16:13+00:00

RPW here. This is awesome. Thanks for sharing.

Frame is the most important thing after actually getting up and trying the steps.

Would it be safe to assume that the ladies have to learn the basic steps as well?

redpillbanana · 2014-02-06T14:47:23+00:00

Good post; so many aspects of ballroom dancing (or any sort of parter dance, really) are reflections of the real world.

Here's a great quote from Data on Star Trek:

As I see it, I need to maneuver my partner around the dance floor, taking care not to bump into anyone or anything, dancing to the music, spontaneously choreographing a changing and pleasing series of moves, all the while maintaining light conversation. . . . My, this is difficult, isn’t it?

Note how difficult it is for the lead (who is usually the man) - the lead not only has to choreograph the dance in an entertaining way that is appropriate for the music, but also make sure to watch out for other couples and make sure the follow is safe. The follow just has to follow. The lead is also usually the one to approach the follow and ask her to dance.

This all corresponds directly to approaching a woman in real life - the guy has to make sure everything goes well regarding conversation, timing, drinks, dancing, push and pull, cockblockers, wingmen, etc, while the woman just has to sit there.

Another parallel - there's a pretty famous graph in the salsa community called "The Salsa Hell dance graph": http://www.addicted2salsa.com/dance/the-famous-salsa-hell-dance-graph

Note that things are very easy for the follow and very difficult for the guy at first (because of everything that Data mentioned). Beginner follows often dance with more advanced leads because the lead is responsible for judging the level of the follow and designing an appropriate dance, and also because a follow with some experience can guess at what the lead wants even if she hasn't executed the move before, so it is fun for both people. Advanced follows, OTOH, almost never dance with beginner leads (unless they're nice) because it is really boring for them and they can't stand it. So leads have a tough time, not only because they have so much to learn, but also because the advanced follows don't want to practice with them.

However, if a lead is willing to put a ton of time into his craft, he'll eventually surpass the follows in skill (since there is so much to learn) while the follows kind of top out and have to resort to extra styling and such to increase their skill level. These skilled leads are extremely valued in a dance community and generally have their pick of follows, in fact they usually have to turn down dances because they're in such demand.

Sound familiar?

Edit: direct link to salsa hell graph: http://www.salsafs.com/wp-content/uploads/learning_curve.jpg

2014-02-06T19:58:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

the_irish_kid123 · 2014-02-06T16:41:25+00:00

Don't know if any of you read him but Captain Capitalism was (is?) a ballroom dance instructor. He's written about it several time and keeps me on the fence as to whether I should learn

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2011/10/bubble-and-burst-of-ballroom-dancing.html

ihavespellingproblem · 2014-02-06T16:14:58+00:00

I learned from social dancing that confidence and attitude matters. You may be a bad lead or a noob, but never show hesitation never say something stupid like "oh, I'm not sure" or "I just started this may be awkward"
Take the girl to the floor with all the confidence you have, don't give a fuck if you screwed up and have as much fun as you can. Fun matters, I started 2.5 months ago and noticed that if I fail and screw up, but have fun anyway and laugh at my mistakes once the music stops the girl doesn't go away for other partner but sticks around for another round.
Pick the ugliest bitch on the floor, dance, in if you enjoyed it and had fun, you're doing it right. Dance firs, chicks are second.

ar10308 · 2014-02-07T00:02:51+00:00

I left this comment on Captain Capitalism's site a while back:

*"I asked a very pretty, slender and young brunette to dance. I asked her for experience level, and she said she had only taken the free lesson once but that she liked to spin. So spin her I did. She was one of the best follows I'd ever led, despite having so little experience she just went where I led her, swung-out and spun as I told her. She just flowed. It was great. She had the warmest smile on her face the entire time...

Contrast to later that evening, an older (at least 50s) woman asked me to dance, so I obliged. She was nearly impossible to lead. She was rigid, immobile, unresponsive and gave me no smile. I've danced with other older women, and most weren't nearly so difficult to lead."*

And he responded here:

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2012/10/divorce-is-bad-for-ballroom-dancing.html

2014-02-07T15:03:03+00:00

Lesson 4

If you fail salsa course twice, because you can dance when they just count, but you cannot follow the music when they turn that on, start believing people who say you have no sense of rythm.

BTW utterly lacking any sense if rythm is why I am suspecting some amount of asperger, normal people usually have this.

I guess it is something about being able to relax or not. I guess a relaxed body would follow the rythm.

Meterus · 2014-02-07T17:41:38+00:00

Damn right! Being able to slow-dance well is great foreplay!

beepbeepwow · 2014-02-10T19:18:15+00:00

note to self: learn to ballroom dance.

ar10308 · 2014-02-06T18:41:04+00:00

I was a waiter and bartender for a number of years at a very upscale supper club that had live entertainment.

There was a certain group of regulars who all had the same ballroom dancing instructor. They would come in, have dinner and then ballroom style dance to the music.

Without exception, the men in this group were all affluent beta types desperate to get sex from their completely selfish, spoiled brat pain in the ass wives. They would go out on the dance floor and rigidly follow these awkward dance steps. You could totally tell the women were getting off on the fact that their rich hubbys were completely selling out to pander to them. It came off like these women were blatantly showing off to other women how much in control of their respective situations they were. They were reveling in the hand they had. It was one of the most unmanly, pussy whipped things I've ever seen in my entire life.

The first few times I saw this group I could barely stifle my snickering. My boss would tell me to stop laughing, but even he himself could not keep a straight face. The dancing would happen generally as dinner service was winding down. We would all have to go back in the kitchen to let our laughs and compose ourselves - my boss included.

One night I said to my boss, "The things some guys do to get their wives to fuck them..."

He answered, "You think their wives fuck them? Their wives fuck the pool boy. They just pay for it."

After a few years of the group coming, their presence no longer solicited snickers and laughs. Pretty much it turned into a mixture of pity and frustration. I'd watch them dance and I'd think to myself, "Poor bastards" as I tried to conceptualize what experiencing that kind of repeated shame must be like. The more I saw them, the more it mortified me.

Of course you know nobody wanted to serve this crowd, myself included. They never ordered well and they never tipped well.

Whenever you get a party where it's clear that the wife rules the roost, you know it's going to be a cheap table. Women don't see a great deal of logic in spending on dinners - even if they have the money. The visceral dining experience is a frivolous waste to them.

The women would be wearing Prada and Vuitton, with diamonds and designer everything, though - while the men wore imitation Dockers and Bass deck shoes. I heard stories of the women having expensive personal trainers come to their homes, while the husbands had to be satisfied driving around modest cars or pick up trucks. You could totally tell that no money was spent on anything that wasn't deemed desirable or important to the women at home or out and about - the wants and needs of the men were a secondary concern.

To this day I can't picture living the kind of lives these men were living. These guys weren't broke dicks, either. They had mad loot. If I had their money, holy shit I wouldn't live that kind of life of desperation. It's amazing that any man could tolerate that level of domination at the hands of his wife - it's difficult to fathom.

Title	3 lessons from ballroom dancing
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	35
Comments	35
Date	February 6, 2014 10:37 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1x65il/3_lessons_from_ballroom_dancing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/3-lessons-from-ballroom-dancing.10974 https://theredarchive.com/post/10974

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