A girl...can someone please explain these double-standards to me? Not here to hate or yell.

TheIslander829 · 2013-08-02T20:30:18+00:00

I am twenty and apparently have about seven more years before I hit my prime

Which prime? The sexual one? It's right after puberty. 16-24, so 20 is dead in the middle of it.

Well, just go get married. If you're remaining a virgin, I'm sure you can find A LOT of guys that'll put a ring on you.

I understand that there are different standards for girls and guys regarding sexual partners

Now to the double standard. In reality, what I find is most men don't have a lot of sex. It's only a select few that have a ton of different sexual partners in their lifetime.

mazzyTuff · 2013-08-02T20:30:16+00:00

I'm a twenty-year-old virgin. I value my virginity and I don't want to have more than five sexual partners total in my entire life, though that might not be possible.

Why five? This is an arbitrary number.

You're likely someone who believes that life is supposed to follow a script.

Additionally, I'm pretty attractive, so I often get propositioned for sex. Take it or leave it.

All women do. Thank you for justifying yourself as though you had something to prove.

Let's skip ahead.

I found out a few weeks ago that a lot of people in my social circle refer to me as a grandmother and a prude.

The horror! How dare they!

Generally, guys don't want to date slutty girls, yet they want to have sex with as many as they possibly can. Once a girl has sex with too many guys, she is no longer considered datable. There are about an even number of girls and guys, which means that you – should you have sex with 40 girls along with 40 other guys – cannot mathematically expect a girl to be chaste unless there is a large-scale change of behavior on both sides.

I don't even get what you're saying.

Plus hypergamy.

Those 40 girls will only be having sex with 5% of those 40 guys.

So you'll have 2 guys who fucked 40 girls.

And 40 girls who fucked 2 guys.

See. Your math is wrong.

Also your paragraph is non-sensical.

Also, the thing about age seems to be mostly limited to the Internet. I am twenty and apparently have about seven more years before I hit my prime (I look pretty young for my age, so I think I might have a bit longer on this – like until 37 - 40, looking at my mother), but the guy I choose to be my partner might "trade me in for a younger model" anyway and there's nothing I can do about that.

(I might note here that while I understand the logic behind old guys/young girls, the only cases I see of that are gold-diggers and rich tycoons. Rarely do I see someone thirty dating someone twenty, and as a girl, I can say I don't want to date anyone more than three years older than me. Additionally, I feel like – within reason – beauty standards change as you age; a forty-year-old man might feel more inclined to have sex with a thirty-to-forty-year-old than a college freshman.)

I'm almost 30.

I fuck exclusively from the legal age to 23.

Most of the girls I know from the legal age of consent in my area to 23 date dudes who are around their age. But fuck dudes all the way until their 40s.

You don't see this because, like your friends explained, you're a prude.

Beauty standards don't change as you age. Rather, as a person is limited in options, their standards change.

I'm sincerely confused and upset.

I don't even know what you're upset at other than your friends calling you a prude for being one.

2013-08-02T20:32:52+00:00

Generally, guys don't want to date slutty girls, yet they want to have sex with as many as they possibly can.

There is no contradiction or double standard here. There's what i want , then there's what i can get.

There are about an even number of girls and guys, which means that you – should you have sex with 40 girls along with 40 other guys

I'm not sure how i should interpret this phrase, i'm assuming that you mean that sexual partners ought to equal out. From personal experiences this isn't the case as a select few men (alphas) tend to sleep with more women than the rest (betas).

Regardless , your post stinks of trolling.

2013-08-02T20:42:39+00:00

I also don't understand what you mean by "I value my body".

Okay, when was engaging in sexual activity a devaluation?

I'm not saying you should just got for it and shack up with the next dude who tickles your fancy, but I'd reevaluate why you think as you do. Ask yourself if you're putting yourself up on some unrealistic pedistal which causes you to miss out at chances to expand your life experience base. Do you have any guy friends who really want to be with you but are "too nice or x?". Do you purposefully keep him in that position because hes "safe as a friend" there?

I don't really have opinions, just curious why you feel as you do towards your own sexuality and need to remain a virgin.

It seems like there was subconcious fishing there for justification, maybe assurances! Well if thats the case.. If you're in a good relationship you won't be "traded in".

vacuu · 2013-08-02T20:55:56+00:00

"Why do people hate me for choosing to be a virgin?"

The reason men do it is because they're trying to basically haggle over the price of poon, if they can get it low enough then they will be able to get some. Women do it because they don't want you to have an advantage over them. It makes them less desirable compared to you.

"Contradictory messages? Don't be a slut, don't be a virgin?"

Think about it like a brand new car (sorry to put it this way). A brand new car is expensive. People balk at the price because it's so high, so they try to devalue it and argue it down so they can afford it. When you drive one to work, people with used cars might get jealous and say nonsensical nasty things.

But also think about a car with 350,000 miles on it. No one wants that.

No also think about a new car that's never been driven, but it's a model that's 10 years older than current cars because it's been sitting in the dealership. That's still a really good car, but you can see it isn't equivalent to what it was even though it still has a high value.

Everyone will criticize, be jealous, or try to ague the price down except for the guy that has the key, he will love the car and feel bad for the haters.

zionController · 2013-08-02T20:56:17+00:00

Removed. Try posting it to redpillwomen.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2013-08-02T20:58:21+00:00

Welcome.

why do I get so much shit from people for wanting to stay a virgin?

They feel that you're judging them. It's clear from your post that you don't, but it feels like judgement to them.

guys don't want to date slutty girls

I think you misunderstand this. What's actually going on is that guys don't want to feel cheated.

Obviously, one concern is literal cheating. I don't know if there actually is a correlation between promiscuity and infidelity, but that's the worry. Call it irrational if you like.

The other kind of "feeling cheated" that guys worry about is being told they have to expend a certain amount of effort to have sex while everyone else expends no effort at all. If a girl usually hooks up with random guys that's she's known for only a few hours, but then tells you that you'll have to date her (spending time and money) for three months before she'll have sex with you, it feels wrong somehow.

the guy I choose to be my partner might "trade me in for a younger model" anyway and there's nothing I can do about that.

Yep. It's a sad possibility. I hope you find a good man with values and character who will honor his commitments.

a forty-year-old man might feel more inclined to have sex with a thirty-to-forty-year-old than a college freshman

An average 30-40 year old woman vs. an average 20 year old college freshman? I find it really hard to believe that any heterosexual man, if he is really honest, would choose the older woman. I know that seems a dark aspect of human sexuality, but I believe it's true.

That said, I can certainly fill a stadium with college freshman girls that I feel no attraction toward, and another stadium with 30 year old women that are amazingly hot. But if we're talking median attractiveness, then the younger girl wins.

2013-08-02T21:00:12+00:00

Your wrote a lot of stuff that's not really coherent enough to respond to. Here's the one specific clear question you asked:

But my question is this – why do I get so much shit from people for wanting to stay a virgin? I'm not religious or waiting until marriage, I really just value my body.

1) Guys who want to have sex with you are trying to convince you to have sex with them. Their motivations should be obvious.

2) Some people (of both genders, but mostly female) are made confused and uncomfortable by individualist thinking and behavior. They want everybody to think and act the same way because questioning the mainstream is hard and those who do so are outsiders. They are encouraging you to "rejoin the tribe" by sacrificing individuality and embracing consensus.

3) Women who feel bad about their high and growing number of partners (i.e. their lack of relationship value; see here) see you as an unpleasant reminder of their failures and want to drag you down to their level.

HTH, HAND.

lIllIllIes · 2013-08-02T21:16:18+00:00

You avoid sex and then get offended when people call you a prude.

[I'm] A girl...

Confirmed.

mazzyTuff · 2013-08-02T20:30:21+00:00