A lot of what is posted here about Stoicism isn’t inherently wrong, but it is typically incomplete. In order to fill that void I would like to talk about a stoic take on expectations today.

Expectations are simply your determination of an outcome about a given action or event. If, for example, I drop a ball, I expect it to hit the ground. I do because every time I, or anyone else around me, have dropped a ball, that is exactly what happens.

When dropping a ball, there are two definite things at work. The first one, is me, and my decision to drop the ball. The second is nature, or gravity’s ability to do its job, which will ensure the ball hits the ground.

For a moment, let’s make the scenario a little more complicated. Let’s say that there were someone else’s hand beneath mine. When I drop the ball, that person can choose to move their hand, and let it fall, or to catch it. With this third element, I have introduced another component to my experiment that may or may not negatively affect my goal of getting the ball to hit the ground. This third component, I have no control over it. I don’t know whether the person will allow the ball to through their hand or not.

Frankly, I’m not in control of the nature element either. The wind may blow and cause my ball to hit the ground in a different spot than I intended.

In this entire scenario, there is actually only one thing I am in control of, and that is the choice I make to drop the ball. And, the more expectation I create for the ball to hit the ground, I create more pressure to succeed. If I expect that ball to hit the ground, an emotional reaction will occur if it does not.

However, instead of creating expectations, I can see that the only thing that I am in control of is my ability to make choices. I can remove the external pressure I put on a given situation, the emotional reactions, and instead focus solely on my choices and actions. In addition, once I remove the expectation, I am not longer fragile or exposed.

I can make the decision to create the experiment. I can make the decision to show up for the day of the test and drop the ball. I may even make the decision that I will not leave until the ball does hit the ground. But, I should never expect that the ball will hit the ground.