I'm a dating coach located in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

TLDR: Self-love is about embracing all positive and negative thoughts and feelings that we perceive to be true, and not running away from them no matter how dark. Key word: Truth. Use your intuition/gut feeling to distinguish mental gibberish from actual truth.

Cliff notes about me: Been in the game since 2010. Skills range anywhere from being able to sleep with a girl within an hour, getting up to 15 numbers in a day, and relationship maintenance. I also help men with failing marriages, post divorce/breakups, and infidelity minimization (take that last one with a grain of salt).

Redditors get my services for free. At no point do I charge a dime here. Ever. I enjoy what I do. I want to see men succeed, and maybe even help save some lives. I knew a few guys within my social circle who have long ago killed themselves from the pain and depression of loneliness. I don't need your money; I have enough clients in my area where I do one-on-ones and seminars.

Onto the post itself:

The biggest piece of shit advice I ever heard in my life (particularly from women) is “just be yourself”.

Simultaneously, it's the best advice you're going to hear. The problem with "just be yourself'" is that we don't know how. On a higher level, being ourselves is just another way of describing self love. As we all know, self love is crucial to success; this is not a new concept.

If we love someone close to us such as a family member or friend, we do not put forth effort to change them. We simply accept them as they are. If we watch creatures in the animal kingdom, they are not using positive affirmations to better themselves. They simply are what they are, and they follow their instincts.

The biggest misconception is that we have to consciously focus on actively loving ourselves. But it doesn't work like that. It's bullshit, and it doesn't work. If it did, the self-help industry would crumble in a heartbeat.

I’m going to highlight the most important word in this post:

Truth

Many novices in pickup are not aligning their thoughts and actions properly. There is a constant ongoing battle from within.

The Key: To end the war within yourself, you must submit and admit to all your thoughts, feelings, and truths that come from your ego. Examples: if your ego is telling you you’re not good enough, admit to not feeling good enough. If you are anxious, admit to being anxious. If you are angry, sad, jealous, or depressed…admit to these feelings.

Self love is whatever your natural state is and accepting/embracing it.

This key, in and of itself, is the true definition of self love. You are not actively trying to change whatever it is you think or feel. Ironically enough, this is when you change, and you won't even notice when it happens unless you're truly cognizant.

Your problems will only stop chasing after you if you stop running. And whatever you resist, persists. Your inner dialogue will only exacerbate or reinforce itself the more you try to suppress or ignore it.

When you do this, you’ll notice a sense of inner peace. And that’s what we want. It is a genuine state of flow, and eventually becomes permanent the more it is applied. The war has ended, and you’ll notice an increase in energy, as well, because you’re no longer fighting your inner self. “The truth will set you free”.

If you admit to being a boring individual, that's when you’ll become an interesting person, because honesty is always interesting. You’ve shed light on yourself, and the world can see who you truly are. Authenticity flourishes in all areas of life: business, love, socialization, sexual intention, and so forth...which leads me to our next key in becoming more socially expressive.

Key #2: By embracing your own truths, you can begin applying your honesty to practical scenarios outside of you. If you happen to see an attractive female in line and she looks bored and tired, your truth of your observation is that you see a bored woman in line, so you say "You look really bored and tired." Conversation starter: done.

This is why you'll find many women in relationships with men who treat them like less than shit: women will tell you "at least he's honest". Honesty and transparency is fearlessness in its most concentrated form.

Nice guys are in a constant shadow, they are not congruent with their thoughts and actions, and this is why many women find them creepy or cheat on them. Examples: hesitation, not voicing their opinions, being too nice to avoid conflict even though they want to stand up for themselves. These are all examples of inner wars.

Important note: You should be aware that admitting to “truths” doesn’t necessarily make them true at all. Truths are subjective and are constantly changing. If you know how a chinese finger trap works, the trap only lets go when you push your fingers together, and this is exactly how we function internally. So embrace all your thoughts and feelings. Your intuition will be able to distinguish the difference between something that is absolutely true vs something negative that is most likely not true at all.

Always listen to that intuition.

If this post doesn't radically change your perspective on self love, you know how to contact me.