Alpha Widow misses her Alpha, gets back in touch behind husband's back. Beta husband stays with her. Twist: they are ex-Mormon and were fine until they both left the church.

drrtyfrrnr · 2014-05-08T10:57:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Rumble_in_the_Jungle · 2014-05-08T14:48:14+00:00

Top three comments sum up all of r/relationships:

you probably know that you've been a shitty husband
marriage counseling is a must
we always cruify the cheater and what not, around here, but

RPSavant · 2014-05-08T15:24:45+00:00

WOW

Top post is someone trying to shame the dude. Because it has taken him years to notice his wife is a whore, it means that he is a shitty husband.

I'm struggling to comprehend the steps in thinking required to come to this conclusion.

stillnoturday · 2014-05-08T10:32:40+00:00

If the guy believes her, he deserves what ever he gets, which will be his wife on her knees servicing her ex. People like this make me sad.

Sufferix · 2014-05-08T19:44:57+00:00

Taking a shit while I read the log.

"Oh, this nigga is fucked. Blaming himself for his wife's infidelity."

Guy says, "I want a divorce." I'm like, "My nigga."

Guy says, "I realize I don't want to divorce and we reconcile." Me: "You're so fucking duuuuuumb."

It was a good shit though.

gopher88 · 2014-05-08T12:41:09+00:00

I want to see how they can say he was a shitty husband. To me it sounded like a relationship that was failing at both ends...

JohnPeel · 2014-05-08T18:28:13+00:00

To understand askrelationships you have to first understand that the majority of the people on there are beta males.

Basically what happens is that rather than thinking "hey that guy didn't do anything wrong, my wife could be cheating on me too" they have to hamster it away by saying the guy must have done something wrong.

Otherwise they'd have to burst their own bubbles.

machimus · 2014-05-08T23:32:41+00:00

I have a little personal experience with this. Several girls I was friends with, or dated briefly, or had crushes on have come at me with the "what if" after they were married. In each case the girl didn't feel like she was getting some kind of need fulfilled by her husband.

Now, most of the comments here so far are how Relationships is unfairly blaming the man for the wife talking to an ex, but most likely he did a terrible job managing his woman, at least for the greater part of her marriage.

Now here's why I don't mess with married women: I had a female friend from highschool that stayed in the same hometown where I grew up. We hadn't really dated but had been good friends and fooled around maybe once. She started dating a nice, cool guy and eventually got engaged and married. Our mutual friends and I had hung out with both of them enough to be friends with him, too.

Back in the day, they had tried having an open relationship, which was mostly his idea. He wanted to slay poontang and she didn't mind dating around a bit either. I'm fairly progressive too so it didn't strike me as too weird at the time. But years go by and I've been moved away for a long time, and every year or two she slips in that she's always wanted to visit the city I live near by, and she should come visit some time. (I am no dope, I know exactly what this means). But she's married, so I keep putting her off.

Eventually, she starts talking about how her husband keeps freaking out on her and being really moody and emotional, like sneaking away to talk with the girlfriend of one of my best friends from home, and quitting his teaching career because he cut himself punching through a window and was so guilty he didn't forgive himself...awkward.

She seems fed up and needing to get away, so I finally give her permission to come visit me and say I'll show her around town. At this point, I'm still not sure if she's coming to bang, see the town, or both, so I make a contract with myself to only show her around if she's not actually coming for sex. I'm fine with this, for old time's sake.

As soon as I pick her up at the airport, she blurts out "[husband] gave me a hall pass!" so at that moment I know it's game on. Bang the shit out of her AND show her around. After all, I know their history with open relationships, so it's plausible, and quite frankly I'm sick of telling her no and having to be the moral compass here.

When she gets back, despite what he said, her husband absolutely freaks out and starts stalking her FB and text messages, gaslighting that he never gave her permission, that he never thought I would do it anyway, and things between the three of us quickly fall apart. I told her to cool off chatting with me for awhile to save their marriage (since they have two kids together), but she keeps contacting me every day, and on the brink of divorce I cut contact with her so I'm not the one responsible for my part in a messy divorce. (I know it's not my fault, but I do what I can to mitigate) Eventually things settled down and they're on good terms now, but...jesus.

Sorry for the wall of text.

TLDR; It's natural for wives to wonder what they could be missing, most of them get over it and are happy with their husbands, but it doesn't help when the guy's doing a shitty job keeping their frame.

isthatyourdaughter · 2014-05-08T15:15:11+00:00

Read it again. The ex is a loser compared to the husband. If/when the wife cheats, it won't be with her ex.

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