Can a single man satiate a woman's hypergamous tendencies? Or is this something she must change?

moodymela · 2015-03-10T02:02:42+00:00

Being aware of your own instincts is of course part of the battle. The next question is why do you want to curb these instincts.

BlaiseDB · 2015-03-10T03:58:31+00:00

Assuming RP theory is correct, your guy should pursue physical, emotional and financial improvement to always be your best option. Hypergamy is irrelevant if there is never a better branch to swing to. You should encourage and support him in this respect and look at the long term regarding where both of you can end up together and just how badly you could ball it up by giving in to some passing fancy.

babydocnorman · 2015-03-10T03:21:32+00:00

Practice the Golden Rule. Treat your man like you want to be treated. Next time you have the urge to flirt with another guy, imagine how you'd feel if your man was flirting with another girl in front of you and act accordingly.

ValarMorghulis90 · 2015-03-10T03:54:24+00:00

You can suppress whatever you want if you choose to suppress it. Everyone has feelings that are deemed awful by society, but it's up to you to decide which ones you deem awful yourself. Facing these "awful" tendencies requires strength of character. Going forward with this guy you claim to love, you must keep in mind that your marriage is forever. No LTR is perfect. All I can really say is that a LTR requires constant work and dedication. There are lots of good things about healthy LTRs, but it will never be flawless. In closing, make sure you really want to commit to this person, understand what that means, and be willing to work on keeping things how you want them. A quick example, you said you love the sex? Let's say he puts on 15-30 lbs, and you notice things declining. Well, make sure to subtly (don't wound him) drop hints of wanting him to get back in shape. Do what you have to do to keep the relationship fresh and exciting. You should hold yourself to high standards as well. Finally, keep in mind you (and probably him too) will always face situations where you find someone else who shares mutual attraction with you. This shit happens, and you need to accept that. It's like you both know on some subconscious level you want to fuck, but you can't. We are animals after all. Anyway, good luck and I wish you well.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-10T02:38:15+00:00

The problem is, it isn't a "tendency". That is euphemistically soft-pedaling it. It is a biological imperative, and because you have "sapiens" in your species name, you can be aware of it.

I think the variance is in how easily and willingly any particular woman acts it out. For some, its a mainstay of their way of living, but most try to moderate it.

I don't think any one person is always going to be fully satisfying for most of one's (normal length) life. You're going to make compromises, and that innocent flirtation can flame up unexpectedly and become a full blown "incident". We hear about this kind of thing all the time, followed by hamstering, etc.

Frankly, you have to decide how much the outcome of active hypergamy will affect your life. It will, in most cases, ruin your relationship, even if he never finds out.

You asked in another comment here about how to get fulfillment from this philosophy? From what I can see after reading an awful lot, experimenting, and living it increasingly for a couple years now, is that basically Old World values are the only workable role for a woman - wife, mother, homemaker, and caretaker of her man. Those skills and challenges are most often sited. I simply haven't seen anything in RP materials that even hints that a woman could be fulfilled with anything else. Certainly career and other accomplishments are looked at rather negatively, for anybody expecting to have a successful LTR.

So that's what the philosophy states. And I know other RP-aware women who, despite much mindfulness about such things, still succumb to all the vices RP expects of women.

I'm sorry there isn't a better message. I personally believe there are very rare instances in which a woman and a man, without the traditional structures, can be and really are happy, but it's rarely in a normal, monogamous setting.

oldredder · 2015-03-10T02:41:34+00:00

I'm going to offer up that no one can change it or satisfy it. If a woman was raised not to cheat she'll at least give some consideration before breaking off a relationship to seek another man. That's about all you can hope for. A rarely-raised woman who believes a marriage shouldn't be ended frivolously may stay instead of divorce but she won't be happy and her blue-pill programming around her with her youth+opportunities (while it is the case) will likely make her a bitter bitch.

Hard to say: she could just figure out stable life is better and help make it better as a proper wife should do, if she was raised properly by both her parents

[deleted] · 2015-03-10T03:18:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wantonton · 2015-03-10T04:14:54+00:00

let's change up how you are looking at this using two different scenarios. how you answer them will give you more insight than anything TRP has to say.

To begin, let's re-quantify your relationship mathematically, just for illustrative purposes. Let's say you have four (or however many) fields a man must satisfy before you can truly consider him relationship material. Now in each field let's rank his ability to meet your need on a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high).

It sounds like your current so meets the minimums, at least, in each field, say 6 (he might be higher, but he's at least 6). He satisfies you in every way. Now, the scenarios:

say you boy friend is 6-8 on each field across. You meet someone who is strait 10's, pushing 15, across the board. He's not just everything you want/need, he's everything you can imagine. best of all he's desperate to be with you. he can give you everything your current s.o. can give you, but can give you much your s.o. cannot. So, you know you will lose out by staying and your only loss by going, if any, will be guilt that your boy friend didn't do anything wrong. what do you do? (a number of guys have lost girls to this scenario, the only difference being the other guys were tin not tens and the girls had to make them (the old guy) out to be the bad guys to alleviate the guilt)
There isn't necessarily another guy. Instead, your s.o. lets his game go and instead of being 6-8 across the board he's now 3-4 across the board. How do you feel about him? still committed? What do you do if an all 8s wants you?

I think this is a better working understanding of hypergamy.

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-03-10T04:17:32+00:00

A woman acts on Hypergamy to improve her position.

If your mate is of high enough social rank that you feel it's unlikely you could ever improve on him your tempation to branch swing will be minimal.

But your saying he is clueless to the Red Pill is a red flag.

That means he likely is masculine but unwise.

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

"A Prince must imitate the fox and the lion, for the lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves."

His lion nature needs to be balanced with fox wisdom. This lack of wisdom will some day make you see him as of a lower status and that will cause your Hypergamy to act up.

You OP are obviously wise and Charming because you have hooks in him already. (RedPillWoman)

RedPillWatchTower · 2015-03-10T05:16:07+00:00

Repost this on /r/redpillwomen or /r/asktrp. It's obviously going nowhere here.

BBB2000 · 2015-03-10T05:53:46+00:00

OP I have been posing this question forever.

Lookup the thread in here "How do women control hypergamy?" ......It's about Self Awareness So I think your close. But it's also about holding you accountable.

I respect a female acknowledging and opening up about this, so please enlighten me.

(first thought is it's 2 things. Either you are truly not being satisfied with your husband and those beta traits he exhibits are larger than you are letting on and that's why you are enticed elsewhere, or you have a irreversible character flaw and is a slut who always cheats in any relationship)

Your husband displays mostly alpha tendencies and you love him...That right there is a little bit hard to believe, because most women are not enticed by other options if their own husband is truly satisfying their alpha needs.....many women love their husband and at the same time cheat but that is because they don't respect him as a man anymore (while also loving him as a person, just not attracted....if those two are possible at the same time). There also is a large fraction of women, probably the majority, who completely stop loving their man when they lose alpha respect for him.

the fact is here you have to exhibit some self control here.

CAN we curb these instincts -- given modern society's messages about what women are entitled to/should want?

This is the problem. Your over inflated ego of entitlement because your a woman. You think you are entitled to the alpha all the time. Should men go rape women and become depressed because every girl rejects them ?

One hand you are exercising control, by being self aware is a huge first step,

Now YOU need to hold yourself accountable. Once you ACCEPT this, and stop thinking you have no choice, that it's biology and no free will bullcrap, then you can exercise logic. Let me ask you, how would you control yourself if you were addicted to cocaine ? Or addicted to ice cream and wanted to lose weight ?

I need some reasons for you because, and this sounds bad, but frankly I think your acting like a childish impulsive crack addict with no discipline who is better off being in primitive times banging a different ape every night.

I would also say you need to re-examine how much you value your husband for his virtuous qualities ...are those qualities really attractive to you ? .......did you marry him for those qualities or for the way he made you feel? It's the latter right, and it's changed. Frankly using logic here you would be Attracted if you married him based on character and it would be easy to squash some superficial spark from a guy you don't know anything about on but "alpha".

Title	Can a single man satiate a woman's hypergamous tendencies? Or is this something she must change?
Author	knoodle1
Upvotes	2
Comments	33
Date	March 10, 2015 1:56 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2yigvh/can_a_single_man_satiate_a_womans_hypergamous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/can-a-single-man-satiate-a-womans-hypergamous.30044 https://theredarchive.com/post/30044

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