TLDR: As many of us know, women will Chameleon themselves in relationships in order to snag a mate. This can be elementary by pretending to enjoy your favourite sport and watch it with you happily and actively, or insidious like lying about cock count to hide risk and appeal to men's committment preference. The goal is one and the same - to align themselves and appear more similar to you in order to gain whatever the prize. I considered using the phrase "by pretending to be something they are not", but it's likely more complex than that.

Unfortunately this all comes with huge risks as the tide can turn as I have experienced.

Body:

I had Alpha characteristics when I met my current LTR. I was ripped and in the best shape of my life, late 20's, heavily invested my cool hobby - I was in a good positive space. TRP concepts were unknown to me then then. Hypergamy ensued. She branch swung over my direction and ditched some other guy.

My undercurrent programming of blue pill didn't take long to appear once my Alpha honeymoon period wore off and I moved in and out of a more mate guarding frame for a time. It was interesting now looking back but is for another post : ultimatelyI was ill equipped. Still, it was a very Captain / First Mate relationship and flowed quite well for a number of years as I am a strong natural leader and we made good progress over the years.

About 4 years into 8, my Chameleon began to slowly unmorph and contrast. After 4 years unmorphing it has developed into the opposite of Chameleon - the Anti-Chameleon - almost oppositional defiance disorder at times. This has all but destroyed the relationship now as the "differences" between us are forming a giant unreconcilable chasm.

There are some fascinating dynamics going on. Amidst the whole thing falling to shit, I was told the other day that "I had morphed/manipulated her into someone she was not, because she is very easily led". While it's fair to say my beta mate guarding behaviour did encourage certain boundaries in the relationship due to beta insecurities , this ignores the Chameleon entirely in the equation. I believe she is projecting some or all if her Chameleon onto me. During this same monologue she did say she accepts that she had "let this happen"...........whatever her understanding of that means I'll surely never know ! My behaviour was apparently responsible for a suicide attempt a few years back ( attempt being a generous description for the drama that actually ensued )

Over the years I've been guilt tripped for this whole Chameleon situation a number of times - I've been accused of tricking her into the relationship by acting all Alpha at the start ( unbeknownst to me at the time ).

Now it's time for her to become the "real me".

This "real me" seems to come with a specification that causes a problem for our relationship - it's not compatible with me !!! I've heard the phrase "women get their identity from the relationship they are in" - is serial chameleon behaviour commen ?

Interestingly she believes that the relationship can succeed and we just need to work through our differences ! I thought she had found a new branch, but I don't think she has at all. There's always some candidates somewhere but nothing I'd say could be a contending branch.

Do most women do this to some extent ?

What would cause it to undo itself and develop into it's unreconcilable opposite ?

Any insights on this Chameleon like behaviour ?

Lesson: Women can morph into the person they believe will please a man in order to gain their goals, but can subsequently unmorph into a rather ugly dissagreeable Chameleon who has decided not to blend into the surroundings anymore.