Hey guys. This is a great article that I have saved on my computer for years now. Don't remember where I originally saw it, but it has been pretty helpful to me.

"A problem for a lot of guys is that they go "okay so I met this chick, we had sex, she's cool but I don't want to settle down yet, so how do I make her a fuckbuddy?" Thing is, you need to be setting the fuckbuddy frame before you have sex with her. Like, right off the bat, if you want to have fuckbuddies in your life, you should be approaching from that perspective and laying that groundwork early.

Remember: it's hard to turn a serious relationship into a casual one, because then there's drama and unwritten expectations you have to overcome and you have to start avoiding her more and coming up with excuses and justifications for your lifestyle...but it's very easy to turn a casual relationship into a serious one, you just see her more often and see other girls less often, bam, done.

Benefits To Fuckbuddy Relationships

"So why a fuckbuddy relationship?"

  1. I’m selfish and like my free time. I like not having to account for where I am or who I’m with or what I’m doing next week, and I like not having to figure out if I’m busy 6 months from now because she needs me to be her date to her friends’ wedding, and I like not having to make akward small-talk at her family’s thanksgiving dinner. I like that I can decide to just stay in and sleep if I want, or if I want to go out I can call up a handful of different chicks to do so with. I like that I have time for my hobbies and working on my own personal stuff because I’m not routinely meeting up with a girl every night after work for the whole evening because it’s just expected. I like that I can take a month and say "fuck the world" and focus on my own stuff without having to explain that nothing is "wrong".

This is just me though, other guys are more into the relationshippy stuff and that’s cool, for my particular tastes at this point in my life, fuckbuddy relationships are very convenient for me.

  1. Variety! Blondes, brunettes, cheerful bubbly ditzy girls, angry tattooed goth chicks, short hair, long hair, chicks who like giving Bjs but hate being dominated, chicks who love being dominated but hate fucking in public, chicks who hate Bjs and being dominated but love fucking in public…so many women, so many tastes. If I have a solid rotation of girls I like with a variety of tastes, I can go for what I’m in the mood for, or find a new girl and see what new experiences sex with her bring. And nobody gets hurt because they all know I’m off doing my thing elsewhere if I’m not with them.

  2. Crazy sex. You can let loose on the things you’ve wanted to try, the chick can let loose on the things she’s wanted to, because neither of you minds if things end. I knew this one chick that loved bondage, and we did a bunch of ridiculous shit…she got a serious BF and a year+ into it she was telling me how she finally brought up that she might want to be tied up a little, and was baby-stepping him into it. She couldn’t outright tell him any of that stuff because she didn’t want him to think she’s a freak. Even if they get married, he will forever think that he was the first one to tie her up, and even then he probably won’t do the same stuff we did and she won‘t end up as satisfied because she‘s scared if she TRULY opened up he might be freaked and leave.

It’s hard to bring up kinky shit to a serious relationship because you’re invested in that relationship working out, so you don’t want to risk weirding the other person out with your particular fetish. If you set it from the start, it’s cool, you guys both know what’s up, but most people stumble into a serious relationship and end up in this akward situation where neither side is really having the best sex they could be having.

  1. Working on my game guilt-free. I’ve done the serious relationship thing (almost 2 years) and I found that I’m not in a headspace yet where I can juggle going out and chatting up cute chicks and having a girlfriend. I feel guilty because I think she wouldn’t be happy if she saw it, etc. and I talk myself out of pushing interactions because I know I can just call up my girlfriend for a guaranteed lay. These things are all my own problem, not her’s, it’s natural for her to not approve of that stuff. But at this period of my life, I want to focus on achieving my potential with regards to game, and a girlfriend slows me down.

  2. It’s a waste to lose a good fuck. It’s dumb to hook up with a chick once, have a blast together, but lose her because you didn’t set the right frame and accidentally made her feel slutty or came off too needy and now you’ve just lost a chick you could’ve had a bunch of fun with…and that sucks for both you AND her.

  3. It’s fun. I mean, shit. haha

"Don’t you want some deep connection with a girl instead? Sex is better when you love the other person!"

I don’t know, sex is pretty damn fun either way. I was in a relationship and didn’t find the sex any better. And I found things fell into routine once we both learned what the other person liked. Having a variety of FBs means always running into new stuff, and that’s exciting to me!

Handling Your Own Jealousy

This is the biggest reason most guys can’t handle fuckbuddy situations. They get jealous when they see or hear about their FB fucking other guys. I’m not jealous at all, because I’m all for people hooking up with whoever they’re attracted to, as long as they’re safe about it. We’re human, we like to fuck, that’s just how it goes.

I used to regularly be in situations where a fuckbuddy and I would finish fucking and be laying there sweaty and cuddling, and she’d talk about some guy she wishes would notice her and I’d give her advice on how to land him…so I’m pretty far to the extreme non-jealous side of the scale haha

I have two major rules I follow, based entirely in logic to avoid any emotional bullshit on my end:

  1. Whatever I expect her to allow me to do, logically I can’t get upset if she does the same. If I can fuck or talk about other girls, she can fuck or talk about other guys. If it bothers me when she does that, then I’m not being fair or logical and either I have to set stricter boundaries (and follow them myself), or I have to work on judging her behavior less.

  2. If I choose not to provide her with something she wants, then logically I can’t get upset if she seeks out a guy who can. If I know she wants a guy she can change her Facebook status with and take home to meet the family, and I’m not willing to do that, then it’s not fair or logical for me to have an issue with her looking for that or leaving me for that if she finds another guy who can provide it. If it bothers me that she does that, then either I have to choose to provide those things, or I have to work on accepting that our relationship will be temporary and just enjoy the time that we DO have together.

These two things are carved very deep into my outlook, and as a result I give off an extremely non-judgemental vibe. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my own set of qualities I look for…like I know a chick that’s wicked-slutty and regularly has threesomes with dudes and likes to be watched by strangers. And while I don’t want to fuck her again (too dirty for me, haha, don’t want to risk STDs and shit), when she tells me these things I’ll never judge her as a bad person for them because these things are her personal sexual fantasies and fetishes, and she can’t help that certain things turn her on. Other girls have the same fantasies, she just happens to have been able to act on them.

I don’t take any ego hit if I’m not the first to do something with a girl, because I know that I’m going to do it the best haha If I found out her ex-BF tied her up, I’ll tie her up and blindfold her and tease the hell out of her and one-up him. If I found out she was turned on when she once got fingered on a dance floor, I’ll fuck her in a park at night and one-up that experience. So there’s no reason for me to get jealous about her past because I’ll do it better and we’ll have more fun.

Talking About Other Girls

I heard Bad Boy recommend trying out lying to FBs and being honest with them with regards to other women, to see which you prefer. Personally I go with the honest approach for three main reasons:

  1. No guilty conscience on my end. I never have it lurking over me, I don't have to scramble to clean the evidence of another girl, I don't have to wonder if the blonde noticed the long brunette hairs on the bathroom floor, etc. She knows there are other girls in my life, whether I talk about them or not and this affects a lot of little things, like I don't have to make up an excuse for why I can't hang out that night. I don't have to worry that she found out about another girl and is testing me for a week to see if I'll fess up and then I don't and she cuts off my penis in a jealous rage!! ...heh.

  2. I can't be arsed to keep track of all the lies. Which girl thinks I was where last Saturday, who that girl is that left something flirty on my Facebook wall, who's txting me at 3am, what answer to how many girls I've dated I have to this girl VS that girl, which girl thinks I just got out of a serious relationship and which thinks I've never been in one, which one thinks I'm an astronaut and which one thinks I'm a rocket scientist. Fuck, too much effort. There are guys who can handle that and have fun doing it but I figure I'll just mess it up anyway so I'll just be up front from the start.

  3. I want to know what SHE'S up to. If she knows I'm fucking around, then she knows it's okay to let me know she's fucking around. Some girls get off on bragging about their conquests or hearing about mine and with those girls I'll even encourage her telling me ("saw you chatting up that steroid dude at the bar, you get some action finally? haha"), like as if I think it's wild and sexy of her that she seduced some dude the other night.

The main reason for this is to keep myself safe from STDs. In casual relationships where you're only seeing the girl once a week or even less (some girls i'd see only once a month or so just cause of our schedules, or 6 months if she gets a boyfriend for a while), she's probably going to hook up with other dudes at some point. I figure it's better to have her feel comfortable telling you about those other dudes than to go along like normal and oh shit, you've got chlamydia because her sketchy ex-BF that you know picks up hookers came around and banged her without a condom when she was drunk and horny and not thinking and she didn't even realize she had chlamydia.

Whereas if she knows it's cool to tell you stuff and you encourage it, maybe you'll hear "ya I was so horny while you were in Mexico and my ex came around...I hate that I always cave to him! :(" and then you piece the scenario together in your head and can decide "tainted vagina!" and casually be too busy to hang out and let her fall out of your rotation.

Throw in a little "man it must be hard to go back to condoms with an ex now that you're not dating, hey?" and you might get a "lol well we didn't use one cuz he didn't have one and I still trust him u know?" and then you run away. Girls really will admit this kind of thing if they trust that you won't judge them (and you're not judging them, you could still stay friends but in terms of looking out for your own health maybe you'll decide she doesn't fit your criteria).

"But if she thinks I don't mind her seeing other guys won't she go fuck a bunch of them?"

Chicks generally aren't out to rack up notches on their belts like guys are. They'd rather land an awesome guy who fucks their brains out and is great outside of bed, but they're surrounded by lame orbiters and guys with shitty game. Also half of those guys don't know what to do with a chick who jumps in their lap anyway. So you get a lot of situations where the chick is sexually frustrated because most of the guys she knows aren't sexworthy and the guy she digs doesn't escalate on her because he's being a gentleman, so what does she do when she's horny? That's where you come in!

I've actually helped FBs try to get guys. Like after we're laying there sweaty after a fuck and making small talk the chick might blab about how she needed that release cause she's been so frustrated because Steve was at the party tonight but that Sarah was all over him and she knows she likes him and blah blah blah

I usually give them some community proven advice and come off as super wise and even higher value because I can explain her situation to her so clearly. This is just fun for me, I like to analyze (as you can see haha).

But if it's a chick I don't want to hook up with anyone else, the oldschool boyfriend destroyers make an appearance.

"well he was probably just nervous, you're the hottest girl he's even been with so he's scared to fuck it up but I'm sure he's a real nice guy who will respect your space and take you out on dates for months till he works up the courage to kiss you"

:D

I tweak that to talk about any guys in general, like If she's a party girl I'll say it about "most guys at the bar" etc so I always stand out and I'm basically tooling a ton of guys and now she'll be less likely to fuck them because she wants to fuck guys everyone will think is high value. For instance if I see some guy flirting with her and gets her number I can drop:

"man did you see that guy in the abercrombie shirt? I was talkin to some chicks and they said he was fuckin creepy...bar guys are weird hey"

"! Umm but I thought he was okay......."

"what? Oh man did he hit on you too? Haha sorry I'm sure he's a cool guy, those girls were dumb."

And then I never have to worry that she'll hook up with him.

Setting The Groundwork

So how do you set the groundwork early on? You can't just TELL her you only want sex, it'll make you look shallow and like you're a player and no girl would willingly get into that kind of relationship because she'll feel like a slut, right? Well actually, you CAN just flat out tell her…long as you do it in a fun way.

Humor, future projection, roleplaying and misinterpretation are about to be your best friends.

If you joke about something, she will start thinking about that thing and be more open to it when it presents itself. Like when you've just met, you joke about how you two are going to have hot passionate sex, and now in her mind she's got that possibility there and she slowly begins to accept your frame and understand that's what's going to happen and you get less last minute resistance.

Or to start down the three-some path you joke about your GF and you going out and seducing a girl together, and then as she gets comfortable with that joke, next time you're at a club you start pointing out girls together, and eventually she accepts the seducing a girl together concept and you eventually do exactly that.

So I tend to drop this at some point early on:

First the ever classic "You and I would never get along, we're way too similar." but then followed up with "We're going to have to keep our relationship completely shallow and based on nothing but using eachother for wild crazy sex and making up excuses to leave in the morning. :D" said with a bigass cheeky smile and said in a sarcastic joking voice. It must be super super clear that you are joking around, so that she can laugh and go "oh totally" which tells you she's open to the concept.

When you get her number, again said with a grin, yes it's all good old cocky/funny: "no calling me drunk at 3am confessing your love for me, I need my beauty sleep." This puts the idea in her head to call you when she's out drinking because you've already joked about it so she knows you wouldn't be like "wtf don't call people after 11pm it's rude!". It even gives her an excuse to call, you've put the idea in her head that it'd be funny to bug you by calling you and saying a drunken "I looooove youuuuu" which she'll backwards rationalize as she must dig you otherwise why would she be calling. I've waken up to txts and voicemails leaving messages like that with the chicks cackling away when I scold them, which of course encourages them to do it again. These are easy to escalate into telling her to come over or if you're out, finding out what bar she's at, so you can spank her for breaking your rules etc

Random stuff again said jokingly...you're setting the groundwork for these jokes to end up being true eventually. Future projection. Like starting a rumour that, repeated enough times and for long enough, eventually everyone believes really happened.

"I'm not just a piece of meat at your beck and call! ...unless, you know, we're drunk." - This lets her know that you guys can play hard to get, but if you’re out partying or have had a drink at all, you’ve provided her with an excuse she’s welcome to use to call you up for a booty call.

"no, I'm terrible with remembering names. But names are only important in the morning when you can't remember them anyway haha" - again said jokingly, but it shows that you don’t take sex very seriously (what you feel, she feels) and that it’s just setting a fun frame to randomly hooking up…you are not the guy to go to for romantic boyfriend sex. This also lets her know that you hook up with other girls and she can assume you probably will in the future.

"haha thanks, I AM funny. Girls are always laughing…soon as my pants come down, they just burst out laughing." - always gets a laugh, and now she’s thinking about girls taking my pants down, again no romantic stuff.

"I don’t know why we took each other’s numbers, with all this crazy sexual tension we have going on you’re just going to end up booty calling me at 2am when your standards are low and some dude at the bar barfed on your shoe. I’ll be out getting my beer goggles on and get your txt and we’ll end up drunk and groping each other on a public bench somewhere haha" - again I’m joking about something but planting the suggestion so that eventually this will happen and she knows I’m open to it. It also gives her an excuse to txt me something like "Some dude barfed on my shoe!! Lol" that I can lead toward us hooking up, instead of her not txting me because she’s not smooth and all she can come up with is "I’m horny and slutty, let’s have sex!"

"ya my ex was super needy, she'd call me every day and not even for anything important. Just like "so how's your day? I had a salad for lunch..." haha girls are nuts." - This lets her know not to call you girlfriend-style every day, because you’re not her boyfriend. She might WANT to call you, but she’ll know that that might fuck things up so she’ll settle for just thinking about you 24/7 and being super happy when you DO give her a shout, which is a great position to be in.

"nighty night, try not to dream about me." - I usually txt her this when I know she’s curled up in bed about to go to sleep. Again just keeping me in her head as the guy to have sexy dreams about.

"I thought I recognized you, you were hiding outside my bedroom window last night weren‘t you." - Setting the frame of her chasing you, bedroom window makes it more sexual than just "window", and again it’s fun sexual fling antics where she can have a mental image of herself creeping around your bushes planning to jump your bones VS boring romantic stuff.

"haha well I wouldn’t say I’m a player…to me a player is a guy who just fucks and runs and will tell a girl he loves her just to get her into bed. I know guys that do that and I don’t respect that shit, it just ends up with the girl getting hurt. I’m just a guy chick’s like hanging out with and I’m not afraid to make a move on a girl if I dig her, you know?" - This lets her know she can trust you to escalate on her, and also trust you not to lead her on and break her heart.

All our interactions are laced with innuendo and sex talk. If she asks me how my day is going, my answer is "I don’t have you pinned up against the wall, so it could be going better. Let‘s fix that." She has orbiters she can go to for boring answers like "Pretty good, I applied for that job and I think I impressed them! :D" Basically she’ll learn that when she wants sexy messages, you are the guy she should get in touch with.

Timeline From Meet To Fuckbuddy Situation

There’s only three points that I lay off the sexy stuff and they‘re all near the start. Right after the initial attraction, between the time we agree to fuck at some point but haven’t fucked yet, and the time from when we‘ve fucked to when we part.

Here’s a timeline from the latest chick. This is how setting up a fuckbuddy frame pretty much always goes down for me. The timeline might be squished into a single night or over the course of a month, but the general order of things is always very close to this:

  1. we meet at the bar and only have a few minutes, so I’m sexual and I grab her number, no real comfort but she’s attracted.

  2. we txt each other the next day, flirting and sexual

  3. now no more sex talk for a bit. She txts wanting to hang out, so I know she wants to fool around because she knows if she hangs with me I’ll be sexual. Ergo, I don’t have to be over the top sexual anymore because I don’t want her anti-slut defense to kick in and have her flake.

  4. we meet up and aside from the usual hug greeting and basic kino through whatever activity we’re doing to calibrate her comfort level, there’s not really any sexual stuff, it’s all comfort.

  5. then as the night goes on and we have a drink or two, things get flirtier and we get as flirty/sexual as we did with the txts. This is where I drop the stuff about "we’ll just have to have a shallow relationship based purely on crazy wild sex" etc., setting the fuckbuddy frame.

  6. I escalate and we fool around a bit, but she puts up LMR because she doesn’t want to seem like a slut. No biggie, I know it’s on, doesn’t have to be that night. We go our separate ways at the end of the night with no real plans set to meet up again.

  7. shoot her a "get home safe, try not to dream about me ;)" txt about 10 min after we part ways, so she doesn’t feel slutty for us groping and making out all evening.

  8. now this evening has reinforced that yes, it’s 100% on. Ergo, no more aggressive sex talk/txts till we actually fuck. Flirting's fine but no like "I'm gonna bend you over your desk" shit. In this case, she sends a txt saying we should celebrate her new job this weekend. That means fuck. But because I don’t want to make a big deal of us hooking up so her ASD/LMR won’t kick in, I keep things to joking around.

  9. now I stick to the normal not heavily sexual stuff till Friday or Saturday night when we txt each other, find out where the other person is, and meet up, and THEN it goes back to super sexual the instant we’re in isolation (if she shows up to where I am, I ditch who I’m with and escalate fast. If I show up where she is, I steal her from her friends as soon as I can and escalate fast the instant they’re not looking. Hell, at times I‘ve been standing with my on the small of her back with us facing her friend chatting and I‘ll grope her butt or slip my hand down the back of her pants with her friend not being able to see what‘s going on haha). She trusts that I’ll escalate to sex, that’s why she txted me to meet up with her. But she also trusts I won’t be a big obvious horn-dog and make her look like a in front of her friends because I had the restraint through the week to tone it back to just building rapport and joking around casually.

  10. Then we go off and have fun times together. I usually try to rock her world the first time, get her off like crazy, focus on her a bunch, touch a few spots she didn’t realize she had (g-spot, deep spot, etc.), do something unexpected like blindfolding her or pinning her etc., basically show her that she made a good choice in hooking up because she’s found a guy that will ensure we both have a blast. This also makes her want to come back in the future…most guys are shit in bed.

  11. We wake up, go at it again, grab breakfast, joke around a bit casually so she doesn’t get buyer’s remorse, then we split up with no set plans to hang out again…but I txt a few min later with a "drive safe, I know you’re woozy ;)" txt that lets her know I had fun and am still interested in keeping in touch, and references the fun night and sets the interaction sexual again because now that she’s seen I can also be a fun friend to grab breakfast with and not make her feel dirty for hooking up with me, I want things to go back to sexual.

  12. From this point on it’s ALL sexual. She can tell me about her new job but I’ll respond with something to do with sweeping the books off her new desk and ravaging her in her office. Like I say, she has orbiters for the boring "cool, congratulations, I knew you could get the job!" responses. I’m communicating that I’m only to be contacted when she wants the sexy flirty responses.

  13. Here’s where I start ignoring a few txts here and there (if she txts me something boyfriendy or friend zoney, I don‘t need to respond, unless I can make it sexual), and make sure not to see her more than once a week so she doesn’t start thinking we’re BF/GF.

  14. Now the frame is set. She knows she can count on me to come ravage her when she’s horny, she knows not to bug me with boring shit, and she knows when I’m out doing my thing there’s a chance I’m busy with other girls but I pay her just enough attention that she knows I’m still down for hooking up.

Keep in mind she’s not putting up a lot of resistance on any of these steps…Yes, this chick is into me, so this all goes smoothly. This guide isn’t about how to warm girls up who are cold to you, it’s about how to direct your interaction with a new chick that you know it’s on with, in a way that she’ll feel comfortable being a part of your rotation instead of freaking out with buyers’ remorse or expecting a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship out of you so that you can go on being your merry self, meeting new girls and juggling boobies.

Edited later in the week to add: The chick I was using as an example for these steps, I was up to Step 8 when I wrote this all. A few days later it was Friday and following Step 9 I txt’ed her Friday morning joking about her stalking me that night. She txt’ed something sarcastic, I txt’ed that I hate her forever. Midnight I got a txt from her asking where I was, I told her the place I was at was lame, where’s she at? I went over, we drank, danced, killed a few hours past last call to sober up (neither of us really drank much), I said I needed a ride home, we parked at my place, went up, and spent the next 12 hours going at it and napping. Probably had an hour of sleep in total, haha Fun times, she’s a cool chick, and joked about me probably having a bunch of girls over all the time, how the neighbours must hate me because of my noisy bed, etc. which lets me know she understands we’re not serious. Followed the rest of the steps and now we’re at 14 (I can tell it all worked out because we txt each other every few days or so, instead of either not txting at all or her txting me 10 times a day girlfriend style). So from now on, once in a while we’ll hook up and have some fun. This shit is based on field experience.

TLDR: Just read it, it is worth it.