Summary: You can only make a first impression once and it is immutable. All you can do later is merely enhance it. Before you even speak she will see you, your clothes and create a vague idea about who you might be. You want her to guess right as any dissonance will work against you.

 

I'm sure North American and Europe fashion differs a lot. Tread lightly.

 

Express Yourself

 

First impression is crucial - got it. She's going to get a lot of ideas just from the way you dress - sure. She'll think there is a reason behind all the things you're wearing and there would better be. It doesn't have to be a good reason but dress with purpose. Your clothes tell stories.

Since last year I've changed my old and used leather jacket to a motorbike one (with the protectors removed). I plan to ride in it somewhere in the future but I like the idea of wearing a proper gear. It's warm, heavy and indestructible. Perfect mix between rugged and rakish. I've added some jeans and boots to complete the "cafe racer" look.

I still wear various rings, bracelets and pendants as accessories. Once again - I feel like wearing them, they do look cool and add to the first impression I'm aiming at. They are also something different and they catch attention. I get a lot of comments on them. Once I was even accused of worshipping Satan!

All this works. Girls are assuming that I like bikes even though I don't necessarily ride them all the time. They also get that idea that I'm a rocker which is somewhat true and definitely describes well what I listen to. Music is a big part of my life. I like freedom and adrenaline. There is no disharmony.

 

Don't Overdo It

 

As Tanner Guzy puts it - there is a difference between dressing well and dressing up. If you're wearing the clothes you like and pick accessories to express yourself then it's okay. If you're trying to portrait a totally different person (e.g. a gentleman from the 60s) you're not wearing clothes. You're wearing a costume.

It's very easy to overdo when you're dressing up (think suits) but also when dressing casually. Heavy motorbike jacket, leather pants, boots, rings and tattoos are fine for a member of a rock band or an avid Harley-Davidson rider but if you don't play an instrument nor own a motorcycle then you're playing a game of make-believe.

Can you spot the three differences between these two pictures? What do you think about those two guys?

I'm not sure daygaming like on the picture above would work for me. I'm sure I'll find out as there will be more opportunities to try and I'm just curious. The thing is I don't feel weird dressing like that when I ride somewhere but it might be considered showing off and I see many ways it could make some of the girls uninterested.

You don't want your clothes to be in-your-face. If you're a fitness freak and a personal trainer you still don't wear your gym shorts all the time (I hope so!). If you're a construction worker then I'm sure your work clothes tell a lot of stories but your work doesn't define you. Use accessories to be subtle and precise, use style to convey the general message.

 

As always, with everything, try to find a middle ground. Dress neatly enough to tell a story but not as much as to make that story a fairy tale.

 

Lessons (re)learned:

  • First impression is important.
  • Order in which you present your traits matters. First one is how you look.
  • First big thing she learns about you becomes the defining characteristic.
  • Don't dress up! Dress well!
  • Think why do you wear what you wear. She will!

 

I feel obliged to add that there are more daygame tips on my daygame blog.