One of the biggest obstacles guys face in approaching is the fear of “creep shaming” – the fear that not only will they be rejected, but the girl will do it in a bitchy, demeaning way that makes them feel like a creep or a loser. This fear is at its highest when the girl is extremely attractive and surrounded by guys that are trying to hit on her (i.e., she has high value). The fear is understandable – even if somebody is mean to you for a totally irrational reason, you still feel bad – it’s in your genes to feel sick to your stomach when you experience rejection and get embarrassed. In fact, in ancient times Jewish rabbis used to say that embarrassing somebody was just as bad as murder. So it makes sense to be afraid of creep shaming.

Just do this:

1) Don’t be creepy

2) Don’t give a fuck if you’re being creep shamed (if you’re not being creepy).

There are 3 reasons that women “creep shame” men that approach them.

1) The guy is actually being a creep. Pretty simple. If the guy is super-wasted, gets too touchy, or says something inappropriate the girl has a right to be offended and creep shame the guy.

2) Some women are mean and like to make people feel inferior to them. A girl that is mean to a random guy making a non-creepy approach is insecure and narcissistic and you should feel bad for her for being such a soulless, miserable person. Think about it – why would anybody be mean to a nice, random person that tried to talk to them unless they were horribly insecure and hated themselves? There are famous celebrities that are constantly getting approached by EVERYBODY – old, young, rich, poor, man, woman – and most of those people are super nice. I approached Justin Timberlake once and talked to him a mall – he was super nice and we had a nice conversation. If Justin Timberlake can be nice to a random guy who are approaching him to tell him he’s a great singer, then what gives some average looking girl at a club the right to mean to a guy that is coming to tell her she’s pretty?

3) The third reason women creep shame guys at the club, and by far the most common, is that they are constantly getting approached in lame ways and they are tired of it. Pretty girls are constantly getting semi-approached, which looks unconfident, weird or creepy.

A semi-approach is when a guy isn’t confident and doesn’t make his intentions completely clear. A full approach is when a man approaches and says “Hi, I think you’re cute, my name is X” – letting her know exactly what the deal is. A semi-approach is anything less than that. For example, guy will sidle up next to a girl and look at her for a while before saying anything, or maybe he will come up to her and say some weird bullshit. He might try to butt into her conversation. He might try to make some fake chit chat like “oh do you come here often”? Semi-approaches work on average looking girls because they are just happy a guy is talking to them, but they don’t work for really pretty girls because pretty girls are constantly getting semi-approached and they want the real deal. A semi-approach is annoying and puts a lot of pressure on the girl because the girl has to figure out if you are actually interested in her or if you’re just fucking around. It puts the burden of the conversation on her because you came up to her talking about Milli Vanilla’s new album so now she doesn’t know what the fuck to say. Another problem with semi-approaches is that most men lose their nerve halfway into a semi-approach and they end up leaving the girl, so a girl that gets “semi-approached” really has no idea that you like her if you semi-approach her. PUA artists often say “approach pretty girls the same way you would approach any girl” but I disagree – I think there is less margin for error when it comes to really pretty girls. Semi-approaches mean nothing to pretty girls because they get them so much.

They key to approaching a really pretty girl with a high bitch shield is to make a full approach with complete confidence and sincerity. Look into her eyes, speak clearly, confidently, intelligently, and passionately. Give her a genuine compliment that you honestly believe and make it clear that you want to date her. Don’t be nervous, ramble, or be drunk. Most guys are intimidated by pretty girls so they never make the full approach – they either make a semi-approach or none at all. They think that the girl isn’t going to say "yes" if they ask her on a date, so they semi-approach and try to “work their way up” to asking her out. This doesn’t work – the girl either likes you or she doesn’t (she probably doesn’t, if she’s super hot) but if you’re gonna approach you might as well go all out. The challenge here is to take yourself out of girl's frame or the "mood of the club" and look at things objectively - remember, reality trumps appearance.

Once again, it’s understandable that men are afraid of full approaches. Super pretty girls in a club often give off vibes of “I’m too good for all the guys here, I’m so hot” which scares and intimidates men from doing the full approach. There is literally nothing in their body language, eye contact, or behavior that indicates that they want to be approached. But if you do a very confident approach she has to reassess the situation and compare you against all the loser guys she has in her life and all the other chumps who try to approach her every night. And when she makes that comparison you come out on top - because 99% of guys are afraid to do a full approach on a girl they don’t know.

Ok, but you may be asking “what if I get creep-shamed?” My answer: SO WHAT? Here's an important lesson that you need to learn, not just for PUA, but for life: People will try to manipulate you in all different kinds of ways and try to make you feel inferior, stupid, creepy, etc... But deep down in their soul, they know the truth. If you act correctly and appropriately people are bound to respect that.

If you walk up to a woman and make a full, confident approach with no ulterior motives or creepiness, and she chooses to say something disrespectful or creep shame you, LET HER. It’s her choice to be a jerk, but you shouldn’t give a fuck because you know you didn’t do anything wrong. It's a normal thing in 2013 for a man to approach a woman in a bar. It's also normal for men to hit on women in bars and try to have sex with them. If she didn't want that to happen to her, she should've gone to church. When I approach a girl I sometimes imagine that I own the bar and I can throw her out for being rude to me – I actually saw the owner of a club throw a girl out once after he tried to talk to her and she was mean to him. As long as you didn't say or do anything creepy, you didn't do anything wrong. THE RULES OF SOCIETY ARE ON YOUR SIDE. Its not her obligation to talk to you or have sex with you, but minimal human etiquette demands that you not be a jerk to people. If she is a jerk, then she's a jerk - her problem. If she creep-shames you, you shouldn’t even get angry or say anything mean – you should just laugh it off and feel bad for her. If you went up to a cashier at a department store and asked her to buy some pants and she called you creepy, you wouldn’t yell at her or get angry, you would just be like “oh this girl is mentally ill. She has problems.”

Now here's the thing: WOMEN KNOW THIS. Deep down in their heart, they know that you're not being creepy if you confidently approach. They know they are irrationally creep-shaming you to make themselves feel superior or cool. In fact, anybody that does anything wrong knows what they are doing. Women know right from wrong and just like a naughty child that knows what they are doing is wrong, women know what they are doing is wrong when they creep shame or otherwise act irrationally rude to men.

Women know they are full of shit when they creep shame but they do it anyway because AFC men take it to heart and validate their creep shaming. The reason creep shaming works is that men slink away in shame after getting rejected, or say something stupid or angry (and therefore creepy), making the creep shaming a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you approach confidently, smile, and then don't act fazed when you get rejected, she has no choice but to respect you. And she will remember your reaction and have to admit that you are the badass. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually she will. And even if she doesn't, who cares? - you know you didn't do anything wrong. You can't let some drunk jerk at a bar make you feel inferior or creepy for doing something that is completely fucking normal in our society.

I have had plenty of times where I approached the hottest girl in the club with complete confidence and sincerity. Sometimes I get their number and set up dates, sometimes the conversation fizzles out, and sometimes they rudely and dismissively reject me, and even creep shame me. It doesn’t affect me either way because I’m always the same person and I’m always acting appropriately. One time I approached a really pretty girl (who gets approached a lot) and she immediately went to try to “sic” her boyfriend on me for even trying to talk to her. When he came up to me, I just said “I didn’t know she had a boyfriend, so I don’t know why you’re mad at me.” He backed off. She was being a jerk, but her boyfriend (and everybody else around in the club) knew that she was being a jerk and he would look like a huge douche for trying to fight me for approaching her. Remember, the rules of society are on your side.

When women irrationally creep shame men, they want to feel like they are superior to that particular man. But there are 3 people in that transaction – her, me, and everybody else. If I don’t act fazed by her creep shaming, then she can’t feel superior to me because she sees I’m not affected by it. As to her, she knows that I didn‘t do anything creepy or wrong so she can’t really feel superior – in fact, she is insulting herself more than me by acting like approaching her is something bad. As for everybody else, they all saw how I acted and how she acted, and they all know I was in the right. If she goes around to tell people how “creepy” I was, she is just going to sound like an idiot. Can you imagine how you’d react if a girl walked up to you and said “OMG this totally creepy guy just walked up to me and said that I was pretty and he’d like to get to know me – OMG what a creep, right?” You would probably think “that guy actually sounds pretty cool, you’re the jerk.” If you were a beta-orbiter or one of her similarly insecure and narcissistic friends, you may agree with her verbally, but deep in your heart you still know she was the jerk.

Now here’s the thing: even when I get rejected and creep-shamed, the girl knows in the back of her mind that I approached her confidently and intelligently. I probably will never see her again, but when I do, she is oftentimes much more nice. She knows that, from a logical point of view, I approached about as confidently and honestly as was possible. I have been “rejected” by many girls (sometimes in really mean ways) only to have the same girl come crawling back later and acknowledge my alpha-ness.

One night I went to a club full of dudes and only a few girls. One super hot girl was on the bar dancing and literally every guy was looking at her. She was getting semi-approached every 10 minutes and rejecting every single guy – it looked like she was just at the bar looking to dance and not meet guys. Most of the semi-approaches were so pathetic – guys would try to sidle up to her and dance without asking, others would come up to her and say something stupid, etc… One guy just stood next to the bar for 10 minutes and kept motioning her to come down so he could talk to her. Ewww. Most guys after seeing this would be intimidated and scared to approach the girl, but I decided to go for the challenge. Knowing 100% that she would reject me too, I walked up to her and said “Hey I noticed you dancing on the bar. You are very pretty and a very good dancer. I am also impressed at how you rejected all those guys” – meanwhile my heart was pounding and I was nervous because I had seen her reject every other guy. She was still in defensive “bitch shield” mode from all the guys that were hassling her, but she was nice to me and we had a nice conversation for about 15 minutes. I felt the conversation fizzling out (and I was super nervous) so I just said “well I feel like this conversation is fizzling out, so I’m going to move on. Nice to meet you.”

A couple of weeks later, I see the same girl at a different club. Same story, she is on the dance floor dancing sexy, and tons of guys are oogling her and making semi-approaches and she is rejecting them all like a machine gun. This time, I catch her eye and she approaches ME and says “remember me from the other club”? I say yes, but I didn’t think she liked me so I just said “Oh yeah, nice to see you again” and I walked away. Later that night, she approached me AGAIN and struck up a conversation. Long story short, I got her # and we went on a few dates. Why would she approach me? There was nothing special about me, and I’m not particularly attractive, but I stood out in her mind as the one guy who had the balls to give her a real approach as opposed to all the other losers. Just the mere fact that I did a full approach gave me high-value status. It also makes the girl more comfortable around me because I was the only one that was actually honest with her and it shows that I am unashamed of my urges and I am not going to do anything creepy.

This is a good song about a guy who approaches a girl, gets rejected, but then she comes around: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnPviDQDzzs

From my blog: http://www.playersjourney.net Follow me on twitter: @playersjourney