How I ask girls out

giffengoods · 2014-01-21T02:47:40+00:00

You should speak to her very professionally and/or formally, to make her think you are “feeling her out” and may not even be interested.

Don't girls mirror the way you act around them? When I think of professional, I think its a bit cold, and additionally, i've read that it's idea to set the bf/gf frame

Boredom_rage · 2014-01-21T04:44:30+00:00

OP: Just went with your advice with a girl that hasn't texted me in a couple days, immediately texted me back with an excuse to why she hasn't texted me back. Basically said, "It's obvious you're not interested, so I'll see you around"

Good advice.

But should I even give here a chance? Probably not going to but I want to.

DarkHorseJ · 2014-01-21T02:44:50+00:00

Yep, gold. Thanks man!

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-01-21T19:21:28+00:00

There are some things that I agree with here and some things I don't agree with. I agree that if you're serious about going out on a date with a girl you have to tell her at some point the date and where you'll be going. It's not ideal to let her decide and any guy should not let it get to that point. If it does get to that point because of logistics or whatever the reason may be you're pretty much betting on if she likes you enough to actually make the date happen.

Also, you shouldn't have to flake once. You shouldn't flake unless you have to, there's no reason to play games. I believe that you should be honest about your schedule if she's asking about it but don't purposely try to portray yourself as a loser that does nothing. As for the formal text thing, I think it's all preference but the most important thing is to not write illiterate as you said like "yo u wan hang?". Good thing with texts is that it automatically uses caps and punctuation correctly so you can't really fuck up there if you're using those default settings.

Also, I never really understood the whole idea of trying to make her feel like she's on thin ice. I don't think that really matters. In my mind, these girls don't owe you shit. It's best to not worry yourself and your mind to try and form the situation so that you THINK she is worried about losing her "one shot" with you. Girls who were not all that interested in you to begin with won't really care if they are on thin ice with you or not. Because this mindset isn't applicable to the majority of girls I don't think it's something that should be advocated in a situation as general as this.

Same thing with sending a final text after she blows you off. As you said this is something that you do but if you look at your reasons objectively they really accomplish nothing for doing something like that. I don't think it should matter whether you rejected her or she rejected you, the facts are that if she wasn't responding to any texts or calls it's very clear that she isn't interested and you aren't in the grey zone.

I don't recommend guys who read this and then convince themselves to think that sending final texts like the one mentioned in the OP is the best text to throw at all girls who are not responding/showing interest. One of the reasons is that texts like these objectively don't accomplish anything if you've already been flaked. Another reason is that trying to emulate the OP's style of sending these texts when you obviously haven't done this before is not a good way to try and get success.

JohnnyB11790 · 2014-01-21T03:35:32+00:00

I agree with most of this stuff. Rejection sucks for anyone and scarcity is very good. You should never drop everything you are doing for a date.

By rejecting or bailing on a date you are increasing self worth if she chooses to continue to follow or agree to a reschedule.

The struggle is that are you really interested in a woman who feels the need to put up with you rejecting her and playing games? These strategy will get you a girl but not sure if it will get you a strong independent woman who knows her own self worth. Just speaking from experience

JB

Tveksmek · 2014-01-21T14:27:21+00:00

TIL I am a woman.

Syn_01 · 2014-01-21T01:47:35+00:00

Seriously, every guy needs to read this!! You hit the nail right on the head. =)

HappyJerk · 2014-01-21T04:29:57+00:00

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LoneStarGeneral · 2014-01-21T07:32:04+00:00

"What does your schedule look like this week?" vs. "Do you want to grab a drink at X Bar this Saturday night?"

This is a tough one. I understand your point about not looking too available, but I feel that it gives you both a degree of flexibility. I usually start with "I'd like to see you again, what do you say we ___". If the answer is yes, then I follow it up with "What does your schedule look like this week?" and try to work something out. Seems to work pretty well, but I would appreciate comments.

troubledgeek · 2014-01-21T04:19:10+00:00

Wow this sounds very good! I'm gonna try asking out with specific details this time. A girl told me she wasn't looking for a relationship but liked hanging out with me. Not sure if I should try this approach or move on since she didn't give me a clear answer.

SpinMyRiki · 2014-01-21T07:06:39+00:00

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Mechanicalmind · 2014-01-21T11:07:34+00:00

I have a question for you.

What if after 5-6 dates she says "i only want you as a friend", putting you into the infamous friendzone? Does it count as the grey zone you were talking about?

Because my reply was "look, i already have far more than enough "friends", i don't need another one, it's not the reason i was dating you. I wasn't either dating you just to get laid, but more to find someone to share things with".

HitchSlap92 · 2014-01-21T05:27:14+00:00

Can we add this to the sidebar?

TroubleWithTheCurve · 2014-01-21T05:02:46+00:00

Really impressive read man. I had several "Aha" moments.

There's only 1 part where I get lost sometimes:

I feel like

"Tell me when you're free," works to some extent because you're not asking, your more demanding to know when she's free.

versus

"So, when are you free?" Which is totally beta.

The reason I prefer to sometimes use "Tell me when you are free," is because

Sometimes she will tell me when she's free (Not always, in fact using this line just yesterday put me in a hole, which lead to an Aha moment) and if she does that, it's easy. Though this usually works more with girls you have some rapport with then randoms.

and

If I keep saying stuff like, "Hey lets meet at the crazy donkey, this thursday at 8," and she keeps turning me down, not out of rejection, but because she's actually busy, I get lost in limbo as I don't want to invite her out TOO much.

SO, "Tell me when you're free," helps me avoid shutting myself out if she's unavailable, the 1-2 times a week I'm doing something social, with friends, at an event or place

I sometimes quell this by just lying and saying I'm doing something social and asking if she wants to meet after. I'll be like, "Hey I'll be in the city tonight for my friends birthday party, but if you're around after and wanna grab a drink let me know." So it's kind of like, I'm doing something social and if she wants I can spare some time afterwards. Granted, I'm completely lying about the social event and just using it as a means to an end. So, on the genuine end of things, that's not cool, but it depends whether my goal is sex or something more. Usually it's just sex.

Just some thoughts, either way, really thought it was a fantastic post.

just-jake · 2014-01-21T06:58:50+00:00

Hey. Thanks for the write up and some good stuff in here.

I have no issues around being assertive around making solid plans but honestly I find it boring when I am planning everything.

Anyone else feel the same?

kljsflksfklsdjfkls · 2014-01-21T10:41:15+00:00

“ok, well it looks like you aren’t interested. Nice to meet you and moving on!”

does this apply if we've already been on 2 dates and now she's sending me mixed signals via text (told me once she wants to see me too, and would like me to cook for her), telling me she's busy and will let me know when she's free after she gets her new job schedule (which she did a week ago but hasn't told me), and makes me feel like i'm being strung along a bit.....can i just send this? i like it to get clear to see where we are

fakethrowaways · 2014-01-21T09:41:16+00:00

About the professional vernacular, how do you approach this with college aged girls? I understand what you're saying, but you definitely don't want to come off sounding like a professor to girls who just want to have fun and party

HappyJerk · 2014-01-21T15:47:38+00:00

The one thing Ive come to kind of despise about women in American culture is their cowardice when it comes to avoiding being rejected and when they need to reject someone. I have a hard time respecting a woman who doesn't have the emotional fortitude to accept these things as part of life, especially when I'm offering myself up for rejection, and rejecting on a regular basis.

2014-05-16T18:22:10+00:00

Why is it removed!! :(

MomoElite · 2014-01-21T07:46:43+00:00

I agree with almost everything you say. Everything, I believe is correct, except the part where you don't ask her out again, if she rejects your first approach.

I love seduction for how diverse your game can be from girl to girl. Its not a solid thing, its more fluid, like water, you are suppose to respond to how she reacts according to what you think would be the best way. There is no one liner.

I believe that sometimes the idea of, "this is your only chance, take it or leave it" is okay to use on a woman, if you feel like she likes butting heads of who is more important.

But most of the time I think it is better to use the idea that, if you see that this women you are talking to is interested, but she says no to your first date, then she is a bit scared or shocked from you even approaching her (Day Game Situation), this is when you should try to crack a joke, ease the tension a little and build a bit more attraction and ask her out again, maybe repeat this process three times (Asking her out three times total) if she is really interesting.

This idea is from the fact that men approaching women is a really uncommon/semi-rare event. There are some women out there, that are sooo damn beautiful, but they have never been approached. So when you are the first or just one of few confident men to approach her, its a little bit of a shock, that when you ask her out she might "accidentally" say no when you ask her out on a date. That is why I think when you ask multiple times, it gives her that 2nd or 3rd chance to something you know deep down she wants but she is reacting too quickly/impulsively on the matter.

Obviously if the girl truly doesn't want to go out with you, respect her wishes, she lucked out, move on. You will know when she really doesn't want to go out with you.

+Just a side note, if some of the stuff I wrote doesn't make sense, then please ask me about it, I tend to make a mistake.

By the way this really was an eye-opener post OP, thanks for it. I've been slacking off with seduction lately, but this post makes me want to go out and game.

weedtowin · 2014-01-21T02:18:20+00:00

This is pure gold. Thx OP.

LiftBodyUpThenDown · 2014-01-21T04:58:00+00:00

Best thing I've ever read on Seddit.

rickrossroll · 2014-01-21T04:14:37+00:00

This was all great, but I lol'd real hard at your URL.

stillnotperfect · 2014-01-21T04:38:59+00:00

instead of just going silent I text her back something like “ok, well it looks like you aren’t interested. Nice to meet you and moving on!”

Man, I am so glad you covered that. I always wanted to do what you suggested, but didn't considering a lot of people on here have more experience than I do and they all made it seem like a very bad idea.

Bookmarked your blog for all the inner-game material. Is there a sitemap or a list of all posts by just the titles on your website? There is a WP plugin for sitemap. It would help people find specific content.

malignant_spleen · 2014-04-14T20:36:49+00:00

I wanna try your "I can see you're not interested, see ya!" method, but what should I do if she doesn't even respond to that? Not give a fuck, right?

DikembeNONONO · 2014-05-04T17:24:48+00:00

can i get this back

2014-01-21T05:07:48+00:00

It also helps to be really, really good looking. Great read. I was surprised to get something from it. There is definitely a science to this and for some reason drunk me has always been a pro. My friends say I just call girls out on their shit, put them in their place, knock them down a peg and tease them all night until whamo! Getting laid.

bob4job · 2014-01-21T04:03:22+00:00

A great summary of seduction from the girls' perspective! I wouldn't do a few things in here, but for the most part, great information.

ohhiwrigley · 2014-01-21T05:51:25+00:00

fuck the gray zone

cA05GfJ2K6 · 2014-01-21T06:26:31+00:00

Gold. I'd give you gold if I could. Can I at least nominate for the sidebar?

HappyJerk · 2014-01-21T11:49:56+00:00

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soapCLEANS · 2014-01-21T13:59:19+00:00

Great post OP. It fits a situation I am in right now perfectly but I need some advice:

We went on one date and it went very well in my opinion. I said that we should meet up again soon and she happily agreed. That was about 10 days ago and I have asked her out twice since then.

Both times she said something along the lines of "Oh I'd love to but I have to do this and that..." without any inclination to reschedule. I believe her when she says that she is busy. (She also mentioned that she is a very spontaneous person as has to stay at work late sometimes so she doesn't like planing ahead for longer than a couple of days)

But now I am not sure where to go from here. Should I try the "So then tell me when you are free" or go for the

“ok, well it looks like you aren’t interested. Nice to meet you and moving on!”

hyperion247 · 2014-01-21T18:15:06+00:00

"You should be as invested in her as she is in you" - Models (Mark Manson) That quote sums up a lot of this and helped me grasp alot of the other things you mention. If she is not reciprocating to a certain degree in which you would like it's usually a good red flag.

2014-01-21T18:23:38+00:00

This submission has been linked to in 1 subreddit (at the time of comment generation):

/r/highseddit: Seddit post on asking girls out.

This comment was posted by a bot, see /r/Meta_Bot for more info.

xJoeKing · 2014-01-21T18:41:44+00:00

I was only going to read the TL;DR but i got hooked in. So glad I did, awesome read and great advice.

Also, Would saying something like "I'm free on wednesday after 2pm, So do you want to get a coffee at 2:30pm?" be a good way to set up a date?

herrobot22 · 2014-01-21T19:01:03+00:00

Is there a girl version of this? edit: i mean woman..

cBrownFTW · 2014-01-22T00:13:51+00:00

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JoseMariaPena · 2014-01-23T04:45:58+00:00

You.have.turned.my.life.around. Thank you very much, now I feel confident and more secure about where I want to be in a relationship. I applause you.

no_real_opinion · 2014-02-18T19:52:03+00:00

Commence slow clap.

rusty84 · 2014-03-04T02:40:32+00:00

This only works if the girl is interested in you to some extent, but doesn't know if going on a date would be worth her time. After I flaked on a date today, a girl texted me: "Looks like you aren't interested. Good luck with everything." I didn't even bother responding or even felt rejected, moreover, I felt relieved. FYI, she phrased it like that, so it reminded me of this post. So, moral of the story: first impressions are lasting impressions, so don't screw it up. Coming back is harder...

PapaD · 2014-04-11T17:41:55+00:00

"get to my blog" haha

zom_bejeesus · 2014-05-10T09:01:23+00:00

Why has this been deleted? It was a good post...

kokolada · 2014-01-21T07:42:30+00:00

I disagree with alot of this... Another reason to not ask in a wishy washy way is that it makes you look too available. Saying “when are you free” essentially means “I’m pretty much always free to hang out.” Not only does it make it look like you don’t have an awesome life full of cool shit going on, but it also doesn’t strike a strong emotional chord with the girl.

and

2) You should ideally flake once 3) You should speak to her very professionally and/or formally, to make her think you are “feeling her out” and may not even be interested.

especially

You should do whatever the hell you want and say whatever the hell you want, just make your intentions clear to the girl. If she needs all of this shit then it probably isnt a girl i would go out with.

Dragonpunch84 · 2014-01-21T10:58:52+00:00

This is hands down the best post on this sub.

11/10 would date the fuck out of you

tedisbed · 2014-05-05T03:40:42+00:00

where did it go? does someone have this saved?

Koryoshi · 2014-01-21T07:32:00+00:00

This depressed me more than anything I've ever read. I've never felt so stupid, my confidence has dropped so low because I'm sure I will never feel right doing these things and will end up alone. I thought this would really boost my confidence and then it all just seemed so difficult. I give up.

riotisgay · 2014-01-21T20:41:28+00:00

This is bullshit

hairaware · 2014-01-21T05:40:12+00:00

OMGGGGGGG. It was so nice to let some girls know that last thing.

Lolleroni · 2014-01-21T07:04:19+00:00

Awesome read, and 100% truth. Just to add onto the part about psychological closure with a personal anecdote.

I went on 2 dates with this chick, and I thought we had a connection and thought it was going well. Suddenly, no response from text or call. If you take more than 24 hours to respond in this day and age, obviously something is up. I didn't get a response for 3 days, so it was obviously a rejection. I sent one more text to be sure and then just called and left a voicemail wishing her the best.

I liked her, but relationships are a two way street. If she doesn't want to put any effort or isn't interested, I better move on with peace of mind that I did my best and am done wasting time with this one.

evolve18 · 2014-01-21T15:51:37+00:00

Girls love giving their numbers out, it doesn’t mean anything.

I wanted to follow-up on this statement because you make a great point. I've made some great female friends (and very attractive ones) throughout my life and even remain close with several I have dated. I can't tell you how many times I have seen guys give or get a number only to completely blow it. Knowing first that for some girls the thrill of the chase ends with a number is critical. How so, you ask? Because you also need to be able to gauge interest by your follow-up interaction. If you are truly interested, call her. No bullshit teenage texting. Men ask women out on dates directly. Don't encourage game playing. Be direct.

Guys text because it's easy and sort of quasi-shield for rejection. Be a man and call her. I have seen too many times that attractive women will play games (and consciously I might add) with a guy who gets a number and immediately begins to text. Then the games start and the guy gets humiliated. These women have told me I avoided the same fate because I was smarter - I was direct in what I wanted and didn't act like a teenage girl.

Just some more food for thought.

opinion_not_fact · 2014-01-21T15:56:22+00:00

This is great and all but I can't be bothered. How about instead of ASKING a girl out, you say something like.

"Hey I'm going to this thing, it's awesome, you want to be awesome, come join me."

Effectively, make it a command instead of a question. If she says she's busy, you didn't get blown off. You try again after building some more attraction.

"Let's go to the beach this weekend, have a few drinks."

You notice how you said "When are you free?" and she didn't respond, and then you said "Let's go to JAck's this Thursday" and she said "yes"?

It's like that.

PhilosophEyes · 2014-01-21T04:50:39+00:00

Just summed up everything I've done wrong in my girl-getting career... Bravo sir.

Alphadestrious · 2014-01-21T05:08:01+00:00

I actually agree with your entire premise OP. I also like the text part when you reject the girl by calling her out on bullshit. That's something I need to implement into my game, before I wouldn't text back and just move on. Now I'm just gonna call it like it is and move on because girls hate being rejected.

humpaa · 2014-01-21T07:09:19+00:00

He's right on alot of things except the wishy washy part. Good luck trying that shit on a girl who legitimately has a busy schedule. You can ask when are you free, but then after you say "Sweet, let's go to ____"

rackball95 · 2014-01-21T07:12:00+00:00

Dude that was exactly what I needed to read. I'm new to this sub and I've been doing all the don'ts in this post, wondering why I never get anywhere with girls. Totally gonna apply this to my everyday game with girls.

Entershikari · 2014-01-21T07:42:02+00:00

Pure gold this read was a way to begin a good morning !

JimNasium123 · 2014-01-21T08:39:06+00:00

This was excellent! Great read, and am saving it to read again

throwewey1 · 2014-01-21T08:43:47+00:00

You should never ask a girl out in a wishy washy way. Don’t ever say “hey we should hang out sometime” or “when are you free”?

I have an issue currently - a girl I've F-closed and who has shown interest in hooking up with again works a pretty full on schedule (i.e. has only 2 free days). How do I set up something without asking when she's free? I feel like stating an arbitrary date and time would most likely be met with her being busy due to work.

brendendas · 2014-01-21T10:40:17+00:00

That was a good read. Thank you man.

Hueymcduck · 2014-01-21T11:15:17+00:00

saved

2014-01-21T11:28:57+00:00

This is... really smart! Thanks, I never thought about it this way!

too_much_times · 2014-01-21T12:11:49+00:00

Perfect write up big props

rbbyd · 2014-01-21T13:00:37+00:00

kjhb

surfinfan21 · 2014-01-21T13:11:53+00:00

Awesome read man. Also it makes me really happy to say I've been doing all this for a while now. I guess I am learning something from hanging around here.

magicroot75 · 2014-01-21T13:30:31+00:00

Women have lives and schedules, too. Especially the one's I'm interested in! Sometimes asking what her schedule is like is needed. It was also reccommended by /u/tofutofu here.

Alexfortomorrow · 2014-01-21T13:44:46+00:00

Best post. Ever. Loved it, I really liked your analysis.

Wish I could upvote this 10x.

what_I_heard · 2014-01-21T14:11:30+00:00

Saving for later

szip88 · 2014-01-21T15:30:46+00:00

This is gold!

legacystax · 2014-01-21T15:39:50+00:00

I'm very experienced, most of this sub is disgusting to me but this post is great. Also I've read 4 of your blog posts and they are pretty good. You could be a KJ for all I know but I sent a few to a newer friend of mine.

lolo210 · 2014-01-21T15:44:11+00:00

spot on about the being wishy washy and not having a concrete date set. that was my problem for so long.

UsAndPhlegm · 2014-01-21T15:44:13+00:00

Awesome post dude, made me realize how much I screwed up the last time a girl flaked on me. Won't happen next time.

EppiPhyzzi · 2014-01-21T15:47:51+00:00

Fantastic read, thanks man.

EpicStumblin · 2014-01-21T17:05:32+00:00

Great post, I've been doing the whole, IDGAF attitude and it... works. I don't know if it's something for askseddit but I've got a situational question, here it goes.

Recently hooked up with a HS crush (now Sr. in College) after reconnecting (she reached out on fb, after not talking for almost 4 years), head up to her mountain house that she invited me to with her friends, brought my bro (ride/die Nigga) and I end up hooking up with her in a hot tub/shower, staying up all night. She say's "she's really enjoying this" afterwords when were just talking. Invite her down to my school with the following text, "Hey I'm free this upcoming Friday, and Philly's having restaurant week, come down and hit somewhere cool up with me."

It's been 3 days, no response, I can drop her and move on, but curious if the text is on the level of what you're talking about.

sabotourAssociate · 2014-01-21T17:06:03+00:00

Just the advice I needed, thanks OP

SANPELLIGRIN0 · 2014-01-21T17:23:49+00:00

Can you elaborate a little on this: "ok, well it looks like you aren’t interested. Nice to meet you and moving on!”

I actually like that move except for the "and moving on." I think that would perceived as childish/immature and obviously 'playing games'. Leaving it at "ok, well it looks like you aren’t interested. Nice to meet/(talking to) you" would suffice. Just trying to figure out if you agree with the latter, or if there is a specific reason for the "and moving on".

Brandyn1 · 2014-01-21T17:48:29+00:00

This was the best read on this subreddit that I have ever encountered, thank you for taking the time to write this out.

goo_bazooka · 2014-01-21T18:08:41+00:00

One of the major things I dont get with these "games" and "pickup" with girls, lets say you get a HB9/10 after playing all these tricks. How long does that relationship really last in the end? Maybe I'm just too old school but if the girl is cool and we click then it works out. I honestly dont have the time to think through all this shit everytime I have an interaction with a girl. No one posts how long they've been in a relationship with the PERFECT HB9 that they picked up years ago... If the girl needs all these bullshit games then she most likely will divorce you 5 years down the road and move on to her next victim. Who's playing who in the end?

merv243 · 2014-01-21T19:06:07+00:00

Question:

You started to touch on this topic, but then deviated. What would you do if she says she's busy?

I know the standard advice:

Busy, does not offer alternative = move on (you talked about this: tell her "I can see you're not interested" etc)
Busy, offers alternative = she's interested but genuinely busy

But how do you reconcile the second option with your advice of showing her you are a busy person and only maybe actually interested? Say no, but propose another alternative following the same advice in this thread? Accept it if you are actually free?

Haptic_Affinity · 2014-01-21T20:04:25+00:00

on scheduling - suggesting specifics every time without screening for availability would make it pretty hard to meet up with chicks who actually have a busy schedule and (like you) are seeing several people. thoughts?

0mnis14sh · 2014-01-21T21:14:42+00:00

These are the kinds of posts I'm looking out for on this sub. Good job.

TransportMinister · 2014-01-21T21:26:19+00:00

Good write up

krappa · 2014-01-22T00:04:52+00:00

I agree with all you said.

It's interesting the answer I got the other day, which managed to play around this "forcing an answer" strategy.

At first "Oh... I'm sorry, I don't do dates, I have a lot of male friends, I don't do this kind of things... Never been interested..."

Then, a few hours later, she called me back to her place: "You can't ask someone out that way, it's cowardish, it forces an immediate answer I can't give, you have to ask me to go for a coffee or do stuff in the next few days. Do it."

Then, in the next few days, she started being flaky. Well, not really flaky, but as she has stuff to do 5 evenings out of 5 and goes to another city on the weekend, and won't reschedule for me, that's more or less the same. I won't insist much longer nor will I not go to my office during the day to meet her.

But yeah, what I mean is, they are crazy in ways hard to predict. We already knew, but that's it.

SomedayinaWeek · 2014-01-22T00:42:12+00:00

Any advice on what to do with girls that you cut off, but they still try to talk to you and pretty much lower your value in front of everyone when in public?

Like I'd be down to talk to her in private about cutting her off and giving her a second chance, but we've had multiple times where its just us and she doesn't do shit.

So any advice on how to treat this girl that isn't handling rejection well? I'm currently just cold shouldering her, but I feel like it might make me look bad in front of everyone else (including some girls).

AntixD · 2014-01-22T04:36:00+00:00

really good posts,so all girls are basically wired the same way?

24Aids37 · 2014-01-22T07:36:03+00:00

So if after chatting for a bit and I say "We should meet up this weekend" and shes says "I would like that" then me saying "How about drinks Saturday afternoon at the crown?" is too wish washy because I asked when she was free first?

What about if I was direct and asked "You want to meet up for drinks Saturday afternoon at the crown" and she replies back with "I'm busy then, how about Sunday?" Do I next her? Do I say I'm busy or do I agree? That seems to give her more control over the situation.

SW1 · 2014-01-22T07:48:31+00:00

Success!... Chatting w/girl, building a connection, got around to asking her out... No response... 4 days pass, I read this thread and rejected her completely., wishing her luck out there. She has now apologized, giving me the 'my phone dropped in the water'...
Ball totally in my court! Thanks OP!

JustKeepDrinking · 2014-01-23T01:17:49+00:00

I wish i had seen this 3 hours ago :(

franksnotra · 2014-01-28T17:20:56+00:00

How do you feel about "whats your schedule look like this week?" ?

_Shado · 2014-02-24T13:00:49+00:00

Thanks for posting, was a great read.

Werewolf343 · 2014-03-07T02:44:35+00:00

Hi, I really enjoyed your post. This was inspirational. I started talking to this girl for the first time. (This week) I can tell you that I have never been on a date yet and I am kinda excited about talking to a girl and actually becoming friends. There is one thing I learned from girls though

Chill out and don't go wacko trying to go on a date or get her number or whatever it is you goal is right away. I kinda learned this because you can stress her out. So I have talked to her all week and I am going to chill for a while and wait a day. She will come to you when she is worried that you haven't talked to her. And this is exactly what I am going to do but at the same time I really just wanna ask her to go on a date right away, don't do that., Just give her sometime. It will happen when the time is right.

dinerplate · 2014-03-20T14:07:59+00:00

How do you get outta the gray zone ?

giffengoods · 2014-03-20T15:02:51+00:00

Sending this:

"Hey [girl's name], I want to take you on a date. I'm going to X place next Friday at Y Time, do you want to come with me?"

How's this?

bn326160 · 2014-03-27T13:30:28+00:00

This was basically the reason why I felt like shit last few weeks. I want to hit myself right now.

HappyJerk · 2014-03-29T02:33:34+00:00

Are you FisherTwelve? A popular girl advice-giving youtouber said the exact words you typed in 3) mid- paragraph.

Sad24YO · 2014-04-24T15:38:53+00:00

Brilliant.

phuckyothots · 2014-04-30T22:31:32+00:00

This guy is a motherfucking genius.

2014-05-04T13:24:18+00:00

baconessisgodlyness · 2014-05-23T17:59:16+00:00

Whatever this said it must have been profound lol. Why was the content deleted?

2014-01-21T05:44:48+00:00

"I was on a date with a girl once that went very well so at the end I said “hey that was fun, we should do it again.” And she nodded “yes, definitely.” I then said “ok, when are you free?” and she didn’t answer; she just kept nodding. Feeling weird, I asked her again “when are you free this week”? Again, she said nothing and just kept nodding. I thought “maybe she doesn’t really want to hang out again.” But remembering what I read on r/seduction, I immediately said “hey do you want to go to Jack’s on Thursday?” And she said “yes!” and then we went to Jack’s on Thursday. Bizarre how a girl’s mind works."

WTF...Crazy! Makes sense though, "When are you free?"..."Nods" Translation: "whenever you need me to be"

2014-01-21T14:43:49+00:00

Nice! Good read....

didled · 2014-01-21T23:53:34+00:00

This some redpill shit

flabooosh · 2014-02-07T03:33:01+00:00

Master, teach me the ways.

spartan1337 · 2014-01-21T04:36:42+00:00

no tl dr?

yamehameha · 2014-01-21T07:29:43+00:00

Absolutely agree with your last point of clearly cutting it off when they flake. Not having any of that shit! I usually do this when they take too long to reply to a message. I say "looks like you're not that interested. Should I delete your number?" After that they usually come up with an bs apology of how they were busy and the delay will stop after that.

figyg · 2014-01-21T18:33:28+00:00

First of all, let me applaud you on the well thought out and well written post. This is immediately useful and, on a personal level, meshes very well with my personality.

Now, on to my question. Flaking. You mentioned it ideal to do. I flaked on a girl once completely by accident, but it made me feel like a terrible ass-jerk. How do you deal with intentional flaking and at what point do you decide to flake?

commodore-69 · 2014-01-21T22:11:05+00:00

hey we should hang out sometime

Hey that's my line

crisblunt · 2014-01-21T23:51:15+00:00

You sir, should check out /r/theredpill if you haven't before. Great post

Gustavomb · 2014-03-29T14:47:26+00:00

Good post!

LeonardPeikoff · 2014-01-21T19:04:41+00:00

Mmmk. Quick question.

I've known this girl vaguely for a few months. Went to a party and saw her there. We hit it off and eventually hooked up later that night where I was told "I'm so attracted to you." Now I've hit her up three times since and gotten the I'm too busy can we play it by ear? Thing. I'm thinking I'm just gonna drop her. Right call?

Title	How I ask girls out
Author	HappyJerk
Upvotes	1919
Comments	258
Date	January 21, 2014 12:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vpxcb/how_i_ask_girls_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-i-ask-girls-out.1364775 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364775

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