Perhaps I am breaking frame, but I need to get this off my chest...

I swallowed the red pill six months ago, and have actively been applying TRP principles in my life. I placed a new-found sense of priority toward myself, began to step up my workout regiment (thus increasing my SMV), and have been making it a point to become as cultured and informed as possible when it comes to the world around us. The lies blue pillers have bought in relation to what is right with women, work, and friends become permanently altered once you swallow the red pill. My perception was no longer jaded by the so-called principles that media, the ongoing feminist movement, and people who keep you in an exploitable position in order to ensure their progress even if it is at your disproportionate and permanent expense. This era of enlightenment has led to successes with women in a way I have not experienced before, also the quality of friends I am now making, as well as people being attracted to me insofar as potentially doing business together and embarking on projects. I am truly gracious to the countless individuals who have generously contributed by way of field reports, theory, and examples; all of which have been instrumental to my progress and growth as a man who now walks with the open eyes and ears only this awesome Red Pill community has been able to offer me with such abundance.

That being said, I am realizing that we all have our blind spots. I can hereby confirm that I certainly have mine, and it came to me in the form of who I believed to be a beautiful, charming, and enchanting woman. Perhaps a little bit of background is in order: we met almost a decade ago, and there was an instant attraction to one another both physically and intellectually. We agreed to go on a date, but to my disappointment the timing couldn't have been worse. I learned during the date we had at the restaurant that she had just come out of a LTR only two weeks before, and that both the relationship as well as the break up were very traumatic for her. It was at that point that she began to cry right there at that table, which transformed this otherwise fantastic date minutes before into a full-blown therapy session. Forgive me for sounding crass or insensitive, but I was a little pissed off about how this date I was actually looking forward to became something I did not sign up for. Even my old BP self was wise enough to withdraw and not to exercise any of my prevalent white knight tendencies of that era. Needless to say, the date ended early. She ended up getting back with her cheating ex a few weeks later, and opted to continue accepting what I believed to be a standard that was beneath her. Despite all these hiccups, I couldn't deny the attraction I had toward her. There was always this unquenched curiosity about what might have been had the circumstances been different. As time went on, I eventually succumbed to the high probability that this curiosity within me will be left unfulfilled. We respectfully would exchange messages from time to time, but not enough for either of us to be too current about one another's lives.

Now to fast forward to the present: a few weeks ago, she reached out to me and we engaged in that same level of intense conversation we always had. Since she recently moved to another country, we settled to see one another on Skype. As cheesy or unbelievable as this will sound, I sincerely prefer her presence (even if only over a monitor) to the pillow friends (my polite way of referring to a FWB) I readily have at my disposal. It didn't take long before she brought up the date we had years ago, she even apologized for the circumstances of the time, commented on how she found me handsome and charming both then and now, and that she certainly wanted to know me more. She mentioned that she had not been in a relationship for about six years, but that she had met her share of men who it didn't end up working out with. This relieved me because I wasn't going to inherit the rebound status I accidentally walked into in the past. Hours always felt like minutes when we spoke, and she had a magical way of monopolizing my attention. It has become rather foreign and unusual for me to actually feel this intense for a woman, so I felt that she was somebody I definitely wanted to have more of. Everyone who knows me knows that I do not do exclusivity with any woman, but I found myself compelled to make this unprecedented exception when it came to her. I stepped up and told her that I want more of her. The feeling was mutual, so we agreed to not see other people and to take the time needed to discover whether we truly have something worth making official. Without hesitation or regret, I actively made clear to my FWB that the intimacy we shared is over and that I needed to follow my heart. This time around, things started off great. At first, she made every effort to communicate with me in whatever pocket of time she can create, even if only to wish me good morning or to send me a flirtatious message. She felt strong enough for me that she didn't take very long to mention my existence to her family and friends. We agreed that it is crucial we see each other in person, and I seriously began planning my trip to visit her.

About a week ago, she messages to inform me that she had lost a job. That is when she suddenly changed toward me. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that losing a job is devastating, and I did everything I humanly can to be supportive in whichever way possible. She was instantly able to replace this job with two new and more exciting opportunities, so the financial impact was minimal if any. I suppose this temporary window of vulnerability and being thrown off balance led her to begin retelling me the traumatic experiences of what I thought were a more distant past. It is then that I learned how the most recent encounter was not brief at all, but lasted well over a year. What's more is that she blurts out how she is still crushed over the situation, and that all of this only came to an end less than a month ago! Now that is not someone who has been single for over six years, nor someone who is ready to pursue what's between us as she claims if you ask me. This was a boyfriend, and yet again, I was a rebound! When I asked why this wasn't made clearer to me, she had the audacity to tell me that it is because I never asked! First of all, would this line of questioning occur to you if the person clearly stated that they had been single for over six years? Second, is asking about the intimate details of past encounters a new protocol or standard practice I am simply not up to date with? I expressed that I felt misled and was completely disappointed that I am made to feel that I inherited a different manifestation of the same shitty rebound situation. Twice! It is then that she told me that she needs to go, and I have not heard from her regularly since. I have been given the silent treatment, the very one she claims to be a form of torture when she experienced it from her ex years ago. The very one she pleaded with me never to subject her to if ever there is an issue between us to work out. When I foolishly gave in and messaged her, she began proclaiming how she is too tired to speak with me, that I do not understand her circumstances, that I am asking for too much from her, and that I am not respecting her boundaries! The last accusation almost set me into hamster mode, but I did my best to hold frame and was almost pushed to break it once she attempted to depict me as someone invasive and too needy! I have never been either of the above! As for now, I am unsure of whether I should reach her and say my peace or go silent and revert to my more familiar self. What I do know is that I am honestly hurt and disappointed. I was deceived, and I am upset at myself for falling for all this.

To sum it up, I was duped and cruelly misled! I was better treating women the way I have been. But whatever! That's just befitting since I was foolish enough to begin believing that I have come across my unicorn, and boy did that stupid idea get taken from me quick! As I get older, I have begun to understand Iraq's need for a Saddam more and more. Some people can only be ruled with an iron fist. Never show vulnerability, especially to a woman!They are not the gentle and loving creatures like that lie popular culture and media has sold us for so god damn long! They are hypergamous and opportunists. The ends always justify the means to them, no matter what it causes other. They have no scruples with using whatever asset they have to get whatever they want. They have no shame in shaking their moneymaker or in telling lies if it gets them what they want. As for me, I will never fall off course like this again!

RANT DONE!